I've been cynical and rebellious towards God's grace for a long time now. I chose grace as my OneWord for 2013 because I was really hoping that I would be able to get a handle on the crazy notion that God would give me what I don't deserve. And I kinda feel like I haven't learned anything.
For several months, I've been asking what God's response is when we sin. Why would he treat me with grace when I deserve nothing less than punishment and Hell? No one has a really solid answer. Yes, Christ died for me and took my punishment, but I can't stand the feeling of not being held accountable. It feels wrong, and I don't know how to handle it. I caught myself asking "Is grace really all there is?" It doesn't feel like enough has been done. Do I just not understand what Christ really did?
I've included here two songs I love that have guided and continue to guide my thoughts on grace. I've included links and lyrics for them. I pray that even when I don't understand what God is doing; even when I wonder, yet again, why he loves me; even when I cannot seem to grasp this concept of his love for me, that I would be able to find rest in his provision and hope.
The Scandal of Grace - Hillsong
Grace, what have You done?
Murdered for me on that cross
Accused in absence of wrong
My sin washed away in Your blood
Too much to make sense of it all
I know that Your love breaks my fall
The scandal of grace, You died in my place
So my soul will live
Chorus:
Oh to be like You
Give all I have just to know You
Jesus, there's no one besides You
Forever the hope in my heart
Death, where is your sting?
Your power is as dead as my sin
The cross has taught me to live
And mercy, my heart now to sing
The day and its trouble shall come
I know that Your strength is enough
The scandal of grace, You died in my place
So my soul will live
Chorus
Beautiful, Scandalous Night - Smalltown Poets
Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified
Follow Christ to the holy mountain
Sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall
Cleanse your heart and your soul
In the fountain that flows
For you and for me and for all
At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night
On the hillside, you will be delivered
At the foot of the cross justified
And your spirit restored
By the river that pours
From our blessed Savior's side
Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Rebelling Against Grace
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Saturday, April 27, 2013
A Good Gift
This is a story of a father who knew how to give good gifts to his children...
One day a father gave his two children a present. He was a good man and a really mindful and caring dad, and he gave his children everything they needed. This gift was really special, over and beyond simply meeting a need. He carefully designed the gift himself, crafted it with both of his children in mind, and even got custom gift wrapping. When it was just the right time, the perfect occasion, the father gave the gift to his children, and they both appreciated the gift. He gave them specific guidelines for using the gift, but they found no problem with keeping to the guidelines.
Sometime later, no one knows exactly how long, the children disobeyed their father. They had been coerced into doing something that he specifically told them not to do. Even though they felt like they had been tricked, they willingly and individually chose to disobey their dad.
The children were ashamed and felt guilty, and they hid from their dad. When he came home and couldn't find them, he realized what had happened. It broke the father's heart, but he had to send his children away for a time. They had broken his trust and they needed to experience his discipline.
So the father helped his children pack their things, although it wasn’t much. Before they left, he wept with them. He told them that their choice to disobey him had disrupted not only both of their relationships with him, but also their relationships with each other. He assured them that he still loved them, but that this would be best for them. Then he reminded them to take with them the gift he had given them earlier. Their father explained that it would be more difficult to enjoy it now that their relationships were marred, but that it was still good. He sent it with them as a reminder of the perfect relationships they once had with him and with each other, as well as a reminder of the plans he had for them. These plans, he explained, were that one day they could both have perfect relationships again. “One day,” he told them, “We will be together face to face again, but until then, you might not be able to speak directly with me. It may feel like looking into a cloudy mirror, but I will write letters when I can, and I will send you messages.”
So his children left home, got jobs, and moved to different areas. They each had their own children and, eventually, grandchildren. When their children were old enough and mature enough, they passed the gift on to their children, and their children passed it on to their children. As the years went on, some parents did not instruct their children in the correct way to use the gift. Even when parents gave instructions, some children rebelled against these guidelines. The gift became misused and mistreated. Some people used the gift against others, perverting the purpose of the gift.
As a result of this treatment of the gift, many people experienced the shame and guilt that the first two children felt. Most of this guilt and shame forced the people into hiding, just as the first two children hid from their father. Because of this, the marred relationships the father spoke about grew even more disfigured. Yet some people who were broken by their guilt and shame realized that they did not want to or have to stay in that mistreatment of the gift. These people told each other of their guilt. They shared with each other that they didn't want to keep hiding.
By this time, the first father was a wizened old man, and many people would come to see him. He regretted that his children had disobeyed him and that the gift had been perverted over the years, but he knew that through this, many people would come to know him as their adopted father. While the time had not yet come for the children, both the first two children and the adopted children, to be reconciled completely to their father, he was ready to provide them with hope and healing despite their shame. When people sought out the father and asked him for hope and healing, he forgave them for misusing his gift and then gave them a renewed desire and strength to pursue the gift in its pure form. The people weren't perfect, but they tried, and the father met all their needs. And when the people messed up? The father continued to show them grace upon grace.
In light of recent interpersonal and community-wide discussions on sexual brokenness, I was challenged to think of sex as God's gift. This has been really difficult for me, and I wondered whether I should write or post about it at all, but I find that silence is the worst choice in this area. One of the causes and contributors to sexual sin, especially hidden sin, is loneliness. Shame from the sin breeds silence, which breeds loneliness, which leads to more sin, which causes shame. It's a relentless cycle unless someone knows, unless it becomes one less person struggling alone.
I wrote this simple retelling of the Garden of Eden and sexual sin to encourage us to find the goodness in God's gift. He is a good father who gives good gifts, but he gave instructions and parameters to this gift so we could enjoy it wisely. (This is an interesting parallel to his command that Adam and Eve not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.) In terms of parameters, I was once told that we don't build fires on our living room floors - we build them in fireplaces. These guidelines are good and wholesome, but there has been a lot of confusion. I think Satan loves to corrupt God's good things, and he has corrupted this quite a bit. There is much brokenness, guilt, and shame as a result of the misuse of God's gift, both because we live in a fallen world and because of the sinfulness of ourselves and other humans.
But God is good.
"But God" is my favorite phrase in the Bible. It shows up 59 times in the NLT. Therefore, despite the corruption, the misuse, and the guilt and shame, God is good. I believe that he gives us good gifts and he is heartbroken when they are misused, but it is not his plan to leave us in that. He is a God of grace and forgiveness and freedom.
What does that look like?
In February of my sophomore year, I started counseling in response to some difficult stuff that had happened earlier. One of the ways that I was able to heal during counseling was by changing the way that I saw God. Through counseling and prayer, I came to see God as a daddy whose lap I could climb up in. It came as a new revelation to me at the time that God would want to listen to me. I pictured having chai lattes with him at my kitchen table or sitting on his lap in a big, comfy chair. Interestingly, just the summer and semester prior to counseling, I had been reading and studying Captivating by the Eldredges. Every time I read it, something else jumps out at me, and that time I just faintly underlined (and didn't even put a tab at) one sentence almost half way through the book. Looking through the book now, I randomly found that sentence on page 100 and nearly cried when I saw it. It says:
The key here is that loneliness solves nothing. Shame will try to keep you down, but it will not define you. We are not defined by our failings and shortcomings, in this or any other area. Accountability and community are the safeguards.
And grace is the cure.
If this post hits home for you, I encourage you to seek out someone you trust who will listen and can help. If you're a TFC student, I pray that you'll get connected with the Breaking Free ministry (this chapel and others) or free counseling on campus. Let me know if I can help in any way.
One day a father gave his two children a present. He was a good man and a really mindful and caring dad, and he gave his children everything they needed. This gift was really special, over and beyond simply meeting a need. He carefully designed the gift himself, crafted it with both of his children in mind, and even got custom gift wrapping. When it was just the right time, the perfect occasion, the father gave the gift to his children, and they both appreciated the gift. He gave them specific guidelines for using the gift, but they found no problem with keeping to the guidelines.
Sometime later, no one knows exactly how long, the children disobeyed their father. They had been coerced into doing something that he specifically told them not to do. Even though they felt like they had been tricked, they willingly and individually chose to disobey their dad.
The children were ashamed and felt guilty, and they hid from their dad. When he came home and couldn't find them, he realized what had happened. It broke the father's heart, but he had to send his children away for a time. They had broken his trust and they needed to experience his discipline.
So the father helped his children pack their things, although it wasn’t much. Before they left, he wept with them. He told them that their choice to disobey him had disrupted not only both of their relationships with him, but also their relationships with each other. He assured them that he still loved them, but that this would be best for them. Then he reminded them to take with them the gift he had given them earlier. Their father explained that it would be more difficult to enjoy it now that their relationships were marred, but that it was still good. He sent it with them as a reminder of the perfect relationships they once had with him and with each other, as well as a reminder of the plans he had for them. These plans, he explained, were that one day they could both have perfect relationships again. “One day,” he told them, “We will be together face to face again, but until then, you might not be able to speak directly with me. It may feel like looking into a cloudy mirror, but I will write letters when I can, and I will send you messages.”
So his children left home, got jobs, and moved to different areas. They each had their own children and, eventually, grandchildren. When their children were old enough and mature enough, they passed the gift on to their children, and their children passed it on to their children. As the years went on, some parents did not instruct their children in the correct way to use the gift. Even when parents gave instructions, some children rebelled against these guidelines. The gift became misused and mistreated. Some people used the gift against others, perverting the purpose of the gift.
As a result of this treatment of the gift, many people experienced the shame and guilt that the first two children felt. Most of this guilt and shame forced the people into hiding, just as the first two children hid from their father. Because of this, the marred relationships the father spoke about grew even more disfigured. Yet some people who were broken by their guilt and shame realized that they did not want to or have to stay in that mistreatment of the gift. These people told each other of their guilt. They shared with each other that they didn't want to keep hiding.
By this time, the first father was a wizened old man, and many people would come to see him. He regretted that his children had disobeyed him and that the gift had been perverted over the years, but he knew that through this, many people would come to know him as their adopted father. While the time had not yet come for the children, both the first two children and the adopted children, to be reconciled completely to their father, he was ready to provide them with hope and healing despite their shame. When people sought out the father and asked him for hope and healing, he forgave them for misusing his gift and then gave them a renewed desire and strength to pursue the gift in its pure form. The people weren't perfect, but they tried, and the father met all their needs. And when the people messed up? The father continued to show them grace upon grace.
In light of recent interpersonal and community-wide discussions on sexual brokenness, I was challenged to think of sex as God's gift. This has been really difficult for me, and I wondered whether I should write or post about it at all, but I find that silence is the worst choice in this area. One of the causes and contributors to sexual sin, especially hidden sin, is loneliness. Shame from the sin breeds silence, which breeds loneliness, which leads to more sin, which causes shame. It's a relentless cycle unless someone knows, unless it becomes one less person struggling alone.
I wrote this simple retelling of the Garden of Eden and sexual sin to encourage us to find the goodness in God's gift. He is a good father who gives good gifts, but he gave instructions and parameters to this gift so we could enjoy it wisely. (This is an interesting parallel to his command that Adam and Eve not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.) In terms of parameters, I was once told that we don't build fires on our living room floors - we build them in fireplaces. These guidelines are good and wholesome, but there has been a lot of confusion. I think Satan loves to corrupt God's good things, and he has corrupted this quite a bit. There is much brokenness, guilt, and shame as a result of the misuse of God's gift, both because we live in a fallen world and because of the sinfulness of ourselves and other humans.
But God is good.
"But God" is my favorite phrase in the Bible. It shows up 59 times in the NLT. Therefore, despite the corruption, the misuse, and the guilt and shame, God is good. I believe that he gives us good gifts and he is heartbroken when they are misused, but it is not his plan to leave us in that. He is a God of grace and forgiveness and freedom.
What does that look like?
In February of my sophomore year, I started counseling in response to some difficult stuff that had happened earlier. One of the ways that I was able to heal during counseling was by changing the way that I saw God. Through counseling and prayer, I came to see God as a daddy whose lap I could climb up in. It came as a new revelation to me at the time that God would want to listen to me. I pictured having chai lattes with him at my kitchen table or sitting on his lap in a big, comfy chair. Interestingly, just the summer and semester prior to counseling, I had been reading and studying Captivating by the Eldredges. Every time I read it, something else jumps out at me, and that time I just faintly underlined (and didn't even put a tab at) one sentence almost half way through the book. Looking through the book now, I randomly found that sentence on page 100 and nearly cried when I saw it. It says:
The best thing we can do is to let Jesus come in, open the door and invite him in to find us in those hurting places.God wanted me to let him in, and he continued to give me that image when I wasn't getting it the first time. That's what healing, forgiveness, and freedom looks like. It starts with letting someone in. For some people, the first person is Jesus, for others, they have to tell someone else before they can open up to the Lord.
The key here is that loneliness solves nothing. Shame will try to keep you down, but it will not define you. We are not defined by our failings and shortcomings, in this or any other area. Accountability and community are the safeguards.
And grace is the cure.
If this post hits home for you, I encourage you to seek out someone you trust who will listen and can help. If you're a TFC student, I pray that you'll get connected with the Breaking Free ministry (this chapel and others) or free counseling on campus. Let me know if I can help in any way.
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Monday, March 25, 2013
Already Forgiven
My college's prayer team has spent days and weeks participating in 24/7 prayer for a number of years, and next week is our big Spring 2013 week of nonstop prayer. 24/7 Prayer is an "international, interdenominational Christian movement praying and working for reconciliation" spiritually, socially, and environmentally.
A couple years ago, while I was spending an hour in our prayer room on campus with a group of people for a 24/7 prayer week, I got the strong sense that God was speaking to me. This was before the really powerful sense of God's voice I felt when my vision clouded over and my heart beat faster, like when I was called to Asia, even though I haven't had that same experience in a while. Anyway, I felt as if God was saying, "I've already forgiven you." At the time, I had not been to counseling or expressed my need for confession or accountability yet. I didn't understand. It was almost like I could not quite process what God was saying to me, like I wasn't ready for it.
I'm not sure if I felt like I was being "super-righteous" or what, but I opened my eyes and looked for someone to whom I could tell what God had told me. I figured that since I didn't quite understand what he meant in reference to my own life, he must have meant it for someone else. I stood up and walked across the room to a girl I barely knew, who I'll call T, and I told her, "God has already forgiven you." She smiled at me, I smiled back, and I returned to my seat.
The funny thing is, she no longer attends my college, but I recently became acquainted with her blog. She is working with the International House of Prayer in the area where I used to live, and I am reading such encouraging and spiritually-motivating thoughts on her blog. A tiny part of me is like: Who am I to think I'm all high and mighty for God Himself to give me a message for this girl who is obviously closer to Him than I am?
I chastised myself for that thought, because why would I think that? Maybe she really did need to hear what God had told me. On the other hand, for several weeks after that night, I have questioned why I so distinctly felt God telling me "I've already forgiven you" if there was no point to it. Eventually, I gave up my concern for the circumstance and let it pass. Now, years later, it struck me tonight that perhaps that word from God was for me.
I have been out of counseling for over three months now, and I do not have all my problems solved. However, I am at a much healthier place in my life. I have learned positive coping mechanisms and successful thought processes. I have seen God in an entirely new light. And now even when the emotional roller coaster of that changing process is pretty much over, and it's tempting to get down on myself again, God continues to reveal little things to me. Like this thought tonight that maybe that word was for me: to prepare me for dealing with my crap and to prepare me for the time of learning after dealing with it.
His Words to me are:
Our God is not a God of anger. He is a God who speaks.
I have been praying for God to speak to me again, and I have been asking for more of Him since very early this month. I'm sad to say I have not been asking him consistently for these big things, but mostly I have been asking him for little things, like to "please let this computer open my document now so I won't be late to class." I know, those are ridiculous things. People write sermons on how we shouldn't treat God like a vending machine when they hear prayers like that.
Fortunately, those "little" prayers are teaching me something, too. A relationship with God is built not only on big things, but also on little things. Similarly, my relationship with my roommate L is built on "big" things, like finding time to Skype over Christmas or summer break or buying each other nice things for our birthdays. But it is also built on little things, like when I save her the chocolate piece at the end of a nutty ice cream cone. She loves the little chocolate piece. It's something small and meaningful, as crazy as that sounds.
A relationship with God should not be lived on Sunday mornings and during revival weeks. It should be lived in the day to day, and my seemingly petty prayers only serve to remind me to keep a conversation with God at the forefront. They remind me to ask God what he would have me do instead of constantly asking him to do things for me. He is so good and so patient and so graceful with an already-but-not-yet-resurrected-fallen-woman like me.
Oh, and by the way, the document opened before I had even finished my prayer. Even in the little things, God reminds me that he will always pursue me. He will always speak to me. He will always forgive me.
We are already forgiven.
A couple years ago, while I was spending an hour in our prayer room on campus with a group of people for a 24/7 prayer week, I got the strong sense that God was speaking to me. This was before the really powerful sense of God's voice I felt when my vision clouded over and my heart beat faster, like when I was called to Asia, even though I haven't had that same experience in a while. Anyway, I felt as if God was saying, "I've already forgiven you." At the time, I had not been to counseling or expressed my need for confession or accountability yet. I didn't understand. It was almost like I could not quite process what God was saying to me, like I wasn't ready for it.
I'm not sure if I felt like I was being "super-righteous" or what, but I opened my eyes and looked for someone to whom I could tell what God had told me. I figured that since I didn't quite understand what he meant in reference to my own life, he must have meant it for someone else. I stood up and walked across the room to a girl I barely knew, who I'll call T, and I told her, "God has already forgiven you." She smiled at me, I smiled back, and I returned to my seat.
The funny thing is, she no longer attends my college, but I recently became acquainted with her blog. She is working with the International House of Prayer in the area where I used to live, and I am reading such encouraging and spiritually-motivating thoughts on her blog. A tiny part of me is like: Who am I to think I'm all high and mighty for God Himself to give me a message for this girl who is obviously closer to Him than I am?
I chastised myself for that thought, because why would I think that? Maybe she really did need to hear what God had told me. On the other hand, for several weeks after that night, I have questioned why I so distinctly felt God telling me "I've already forgiven you" if there was no point to it. Eventually, I gave up my concern for the circumstance and let it pass. Now, years later, it struck me tonight that perhaps that word from God was for me.
I have been out of counseling for over three months now, and I do not have all my problems solved. However, I am at a much healthier place in my life. I have learned positive coping mechanisms and successful thought processes. I have seen God in an entirely new light. And now even when the emotional roller coaster of that changing process is pretty much over, and it's tempting to get down on myself again, God continues to reveal little things to me. Like this thought tonight that maybe that word was for me: to prepare me for dealing with my crap and to prepare me for the time of learning after dealing with it.
His Words to me are:
I have already forgiven you. And I will keep forgiving you.This is about more than the "sin that so easily entangles" that we all deal with everyday. This is about the deep tragedies of life from when we were younger, the sins we committed and the sins committed against us. This is about the sense of failing that grinds into our shoulders and backs and hearts and keeps us from standing up straight or letting our real faces show to the world.
Our God is not a God of anger. He is a God who speaks.
I have been praying for God to speak to me again, and I have been asking for more of Him since very early this month. I'm sad to say I have not been asking him consistently for these big things, but mostly I have been asking him for little things, like to "please let this computer open my document now so I won't be late to class." I know, those are ridiculous things. People write sermons on how we shouldn't treat God like a vending machine when they hear prayers like that.
Fortunately, those "little" prayers are teaching me something, too. A relationship with God is built not only on big things, but also on little things. Similarly, my relationship with my roommate L is built on "big" things, like finding time to Skype over Christmas or summer break or buying each other nice things for our birthdays. But it is also built on little things, like when I save her the chocolate piece at the end of a nutty ice cream cone. She loves the little chocolate piece. It's something small and meaningful, as crazy as that sounds.
A relationship with God should not be lived on Sunday mornings and during revival weeks. It should be lived in the day to day, and my seemingly petty prayers only serve to remind me to keep a conversation with God at the forefront. They remind me to ask God what he would have me do instead of constantly asking him to do things for me. He is so good and so patient and so graceful with an already-but-not-yet-resurrected-fallen-woman like me.
Oh, and by the way, the document opened before I had even finished my prayer. Even in the little things, God reminds me that he will always pursue me. He will always speak to me. He will always forgive me.
We are already forgiven.
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Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Relapse (Or, Grace Upon Grace)
It always happens the same way. Stress tends to build up like a slow but severe snow storm and, before I know it, I’m snowed in. Or, rather, “stressed”-in. I have lost the simplistic joy I once felt. I have mistaken jokes for criticisms and companionship for annoyance. I have done what I do best in tumult – hide. I take introversion too far. I snap at people. I neglect the needs and desires of those around me. I cannot see above the obligations, the homework, the work hours, the confusion. I cannot see God. I slip into the sin that so easily entangles and I cannot find my way out. The tension within stretches and snaps my frail defenses.
But God (the two greatest words in my opinion), in his infinite wisdom, draws me back to himself like an adoring father forgiving his daughter, like a patient lover restoring his bride. I don’t know why he wants me again. After letting the things of this world almost crowd him out of my vision, I do not understand why he would fight to be my vision and fight to win back my heart.
But he is. He is fighting for me. Early last week, I flipped my Bible open to 2 Chronicles 20, when God tells the people that they need only to “stand firm” while he fights on their behalf. God’s got this. He knows what he’s doing.
I could have sworn that the gorgeous, warm day we had this past Sunday was created just for me. Warm weather is a blessing to the soul, and I welcomed it wholeheartedly by letting two friends convince me to hammock with them. I read Edith Wharton while lying in a friend’s hammock and experiencing a strange sense of peace. It was as if I had vitamin D deficiency and the sunshine was recharging a battery of sorts. A physical battery and an emotional battery.
We read from Job on Sunday morning and I was reminded of Job’s blatant finite-ness compared with the amazingly infinite God he served.
It is in the place of brokenness, when have not spent with time with God earlier, when we are falling into sin and fear, that we often call out to God to save us. I wonder if God gets upset with us. If you had just stayed with me earlier, you wouldn't be in this mess, I imagine him saying sometimes. Yet that doesn't sound like God. God doesn't bring up all the bad things Job must have done to be deserving this pain, but he does ask Job who he thinks he is. Job answers by saying, “I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head” (Job 42:5, MSG). God demonstrates his omnipotence and omniscience in this situation and he proves Job's (and man's as a whole) nothingness.
Yet I don't think that God was necessary angry in the last couple chapters of Job. I think he was acting like a powerful father in a kind of protective rage. In a sense, he wants to prove man's nothingness so man will return to him with all he is. God isn't sitting up on some cloud berating me for the combination of circumstances and mistakes that led to this stressful situation. God isn't criticizing me for not running to Him at first sight of what I could not handle.
He’s standing here with his arms open. He is asking me to come back.
This world is not our home and it will not treat us kindly or fairly, but take heart, because He has overcome the world.
John 1, while describing Jesus's incarnation, pauses for a minute to discuss Christ in relation to the law. Basically, where the law could not provide peace or salvation for us, Christ does. God's unfailing love came from Christ, not from the law we couldn't keep. John 1:16 says, "From [Christ's] abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another."
The English Standard Version comes close to what I've read that the original Greek means. It translates "one gracious blessing after another" as "grace upon grace." The Amplified Bible translates it as "gift heaped upon gift." My friends, even in our times of relapse, brokenness, shame, pain, or confusion... Because Christ came and died for us, we have grace heaped upon grace freely available.
He is a God who welcomes us back.
This post was contributed to Only a Breath's Monthly link-up party for OneWord365 bloggers on March 14th, 2013.
But God (the two greatest words in my opinion), in his infinite wisdom, draws me back to himself like an adoring father forgiving his daughter, like a patient lover restoring his bride. I don’t know why he wants me again. After letting the things of this world almost crowd him out of my vision, I do not understand why he would fight to be my vision and fight to win back my heart.
But he is. He is fighting for me. Early last week, I flipped my Bible open to 2 Chronicles 20, when God tells the people that they need only to “stand firm” while he fights on their behalf. God’s got this. He knows what he’s doing.
I could have sworn that the gorgeous, warm day we had this past Sunday was created just for me. Warm weather is a blessing to the soul, and I welcomed it wholeheartedly by letting two friends convince me to hammock with them. I read Edith Wharton while lying in a friend’s hammock and experiencing a strange sense of peace. It was as if I had vitamin D deficiency and the sunshine was recharging a battery of sorts. A physical battery and an emotional battery.
We read from Job on Sunday morning and I was reminded of Job’s blatant finite-ness compared with the amazingly infinite God he served.
Then Job replied to the Lord: “I know that You can do anything, and no one can stop You. You asked, ‘Who is this that questions My wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I--and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me… I had only heard about You before, but now I have seen You with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.”(Job 42:1-3,5-6)
It is in the place of brokenness, when have not spent with time with God earlier, when we are falling into sin and fear, that we often call out to God to save us. I wonder if God gets upset with us. If you had just stayed with me earlier, you wouldn't be in this mess, I imagine him saying sometimes. Yet that doesn't sound like God. God doesn't bring up all the bad things Job must have done to be deserving this pain, but he does ask Job who he thinks he is. Job answers by saying, “I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head” (Job 42:5, MSG). God demonstrates his omnipotence and omniscience in this situation and he proves Job's (and man's as a whole) nothingness.
Yet I don't think that God was necessary angry in the last couple chapters of Job. I think he was acting like a powerful father in a kind of protective rage. In a sense, he wants to prove man's nothingness so man will return to him with all he is. God isn't sitting up on some cloud berating me for the combination of circumstances and mistakes that led to this stressful situation. God isn't criticizing me for not running to Him at first sight of what I could not handle.
He’s standing here with his arms open. He is asking me to come back.
This world is not our home and it will not treat us kindly or fairly, but take heart, because He has overcome the world.
John 1, while describing Jesus's incarnation, pauses for a minute to discuss Christ in relation to the law. Basically, where the law could not provide peace or salvation for us, Christ does. God's unfailing love came from Christ, not from the law we couldn't keep. John 1:16 says, "From [Christ's] abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another."
The English Standard Version comes close to what I've read that the original Greek means. It translates "one gracious blessing after another" as "grace upon grace." The Amplified Bible translates it as "gift heaped upon gift." My friends, even in our times of relapse, brokenness, shame, pain, or confusion... Because Christ came and died for us, we have grace heaped upon grace freely available.
He is a God who welcomes us back.
This post was contributed to Only a Breath's Monthly link-up party for OneWord365 bloggers on March 14th, 2013.
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Saturday, February 2, 2013
Grace Means Freedom and Second Chances
Freedom is what happens when you choose to forgive, and forgiveness is a process. A long process. And it's pretty stinkin' hard.
I was talking with a good friend tonight who has been feeling disrespected and unappreciated, and she was angry towards the person she felt had wronged her. She told me that she knew she wanted to love and forgive this person, but she didn't know how to love someone with whom she didn't have a relationship.
How do you love someone you don't know? How do you forgive someone with whom you don't already have the basis of relationship?
I smiled and cried at the same time, because I realized it could be done.
God loved us before he had a relationship with us. How do we know? Because he forgave us. He gave us his Son so that we could be reconciled to him. If God was not all-knowing, his gift of his Son would be a bit like an act of faith. It would be God extending his offer of forgiveness and waiting to see if we would accept it.
Of course, God is omniscient, so I don't think that was an issue for him, but it is worth acknowledging because it applies to us. If you have a healthy relationship with someone, you can say without fear, "Hey, it bothers me when you don't take out the trash, could you please take it out next time?" Or, "I'm sorry about what I said about you." But if you do not have a relationship, or even a healthy relationship, with the person who has wronged you, forgiveness is so much more harder. You have to put yourself out there in an act of faith, hoping that they will give you what you are asking for.
I was blessed to have a very encouraging time of closure in a broken friendship earlier this week. When the friendship dissolved, we were both forced to seek God individually, alone and in appropriate communities, and the conversation this week was about what God has done in our lives since that time. And God has done some beautiful things.
I remember praying desperately and clinging to hope when things started crashing around me during the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012. Remembering that God is good enabled me to keep clinging to Him through that time. Songs like "Times" and "Beautiful Things" rang in my ears. I didn't have immediate proof that all things worked out for our good and His glory, so I held on to the hope that they would eventually.
A year and a half later, God showed me the beautiful things he did through that time. He brought two people out of the crap they were stuck in and washed off the dust that settled on them after the collapse of a friendship and a ministry. He brought us out of places of darkness, sin, and pain through a catastrophic event.
God made us new and has given us second chances.
I was able to forgive this person only, ironically, after I realized God's forgiveness for me. I could extend grace only after I received God's grace towards me. In that point of forgiveness, I realized that grace is freedom.
Now, set free through God's gift of grace from things which kept me in chains of brokenness, I am alive. I am given a second chance. God made me a new creation when he rescued me from the eternal consequences of my sin, but he also continues to make me a new creation each day when his mercies are new.
His attitude towards us is full of grace, not shame, not anger, not bitterness. The Son is pleading for us before the Father to bring about his righteousness over us. Because he loves us.
Finally, I see that grace has brought about a purpose to my mistakes instead of shame. For one, my mistakes led to the development of a healthier and stronger relationship with Christ. I can rest in that.
I was talking with a good friend tonight who has been feeling disrespected and unappreciated, and she was angry towards the person she felt had wronged her. She told me that she knew she wanted to love and forgive this person, but she didn't know how to love someone with whom she didn't have a relationship.
How do you love someone you don't know? How do you forgive someone with whom you don't already have the basis of relationship?
I smiled and cried at the same time, because I realized it could be done.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.- Romans 5:8
God loved us before he had a relationship with us. How do we know? Because he forgave us. He gave us his Son so that we could be reconciled to him. If God was not all-knowing, his gift of his Son would be a bit like an act of faith. It would be God extending his offer of forgiveness and waiting to see if we would accept it.
Of course, God is omniscient, so I don't think that was an issue for him, but it is worth acknowledging because it applies to us. If you have a healthy relationship with someone, you can say without fear, "Hey, it bothers me when you don't take out the trash, could you please take it out next time?" Or, "I'm sorry about what I said about you." But if you do not have a relationship, or even a healthy relationship, with the person who has wronged you, forgiveness is so much more harder. You have to put yourself out there in an act of faith, hoping that they will give you what you are asking for.
I was blessed to have a very encouraging time of closure in a broken friendship earlier this week. When the friendship dissolved, we were both forced to seek God individually, alone and in appropriate communities, and the conversation this week was about what God has done in our lives since that time. And God has done some beautiful things.
I remember praying desperately and clinging to hope when things started crashing around me during the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012. Remembering that God is good enabled me to keep clinging to Him through that time. Songs like "Times" and "Beautiful Things" rang in my ears. I didn't have immediate proof that all things worked out for our good and His glory, so I held on to the hope that they would eventually.
A year and a half later, God showed me the beautiful things he did through that time. He brought two people out of the crap they were stuck in and washed off the dust that settled on them after the collapse of a friendship and a ministry. He brought us out of places of darkness, sin, and pain through a catastrophic event.
God made us new and has given us second chances.
I was able to forgive this person only, ironically, after I realized God's forgiveness for me. I could extend grace only after I received God's grace towards me. In that point of forgiveness, I realized that grace is freedom.
Now, set free through God's gift of grace from things which kept me in chains of brokenness, I am alive. I am given a second chance. God made me a new creation when he rescued me from the eternal consequences of my sin, but he also continues to make me a new creation each day when his mercies are new.
Jesus is pleading for us even today because we still sin even today.- Bryan Chapell
His attitude towards us is full of grace, not shame, not anger, not bitterness. The Son is pleading for us before the Father to bring about his righteousness over us. Because he loves us.
Finally, I see that grace has brought about a purpose to my mistakes instead of shame. For one, my mistakes led to the development of a healthier and stronger relationship with Christ. I can rest in that.
Edited 3/25/13 at 9:57pm for labels.
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Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Grace Relaxes Perfectionism (And Other Lessons)
A little over two weeks ago, I picked one word to focus on for the year 2013: Grace. I chose to modify my word with one powerful adjective: Intentional. It's time to take a look at my OneWord challenge and see what has happened recently.
In the first two weeks or so of 2013, I sliced my left index finger open while chopping collared greens (lovely scar still remains), drove down to my college apartment to pick up my swim suit and summer-y clothes, took my brother to get sushi for his birthday, celebrated his birthday with some of the extended family and our traditional chocolate ganache cake, packed and repacked for our vacation, went on said vacation (Christmas-present cruise with the family!), swam with stingrays on said vacation, and then returned home just in time to begin a week of observations at a private school in town. Today is day two of observations and I am as exhausted as ever. This teaching business is tiring, and I'm not even teaching!
Even though it has only been fifteen days, I took some careful notes regarding intentional grace. When my brother and I got in an argument over who would sleep on the "couch" bed and the "real" bed during our one-night stay in a hotel before our cruise, I was taught that grace is patient. I let him have the "real" bed. It wasn't worth arguing about, and I knew it was right to think of him before myself. Even if I failed the first few thoughts. Grace doesn't lose her temper with a little brother who has always slept in the "couch" bed when traveling. Grace doesn't lose her temper because she is blessed to know she has a bed tonight that she doesn't have to share.
When we were on our cruise, I realized that grace relaxes perfectionism and doesn't demand her own way. I hate this lesson. I will probably learn it everyday for the rest of my life. I'm the kind of person who reads all the flyers and watches the information channel just to tell you that yes, we do need to eat before we leave and yes, they will call us off the ship at this time. I like to know where things are and how much they cost and what time the show is and I'm not afraid to tell you. Early in our vacation, my mom pulled me aside and said, "Sometimes it hurts people when you talk like you know more than they do." Instead of getting defensive, I listened. It is God's Grace that grants me a second chance when I'm not perfect. Who am I to demand everyone be perfect on the first try? I mean, really?
I heard somewhere that humans were not made to withstand every shake. Just as tall buildings in earthquake-prone areas are made with a bit of flexibility to them, so also are people made to "wobble" a bit. Grace is what lets us struggle like buildings in an earthquake. If we were always strong, we would never wobble, and a single catastrophe would ruin our lives. But if we allow ourselves to struggle, if we allow ourselves grace, we will not crumble at the first sign of disaster. We will weather the storm. Don't bottle it in; let yourself feel and move and wobble.
It's been fifteen interesting and unique days. I'm ready to keep at it this year. Before I sign off, I have one very exciting tid-bit to share. I will completing my student teaching one year from now. I applied to complete this student teaching experience overseas and I just discovered today that my placement at a specific international school has been secured. I will receive a confirmation of placement soon, but I could not wait to share the name of my school. Want to take a guess? Grace International School, of course!
In the first two weeks or so of 2013, I sliced my left index finger open while chopping collared greens (lovely scar still remains), drove down to my college apartment to pick up my swim suit and summer-y clothes, took my brother to get sushi for his birthday, celebrated his birthday with some of the extended family and our traditional chocolate ganache cake, packed and repacked for our vacation, went on said vacation (Christmas-present cruise with the family!), swam with stingrays on said vacation, and then returned home just in time to begin a week of observations at a private school in town. Today is day two of observations and I am as exhausted as ever. This teaching business is tiring, and I'm not even teaching!
Even though it has only been fifteen days, I took some careful notes regarding intentional grace. When my brother and I got in an argument over who would sleep on the "couch" bed and the "real" bed during our one-night stay in a hotel before our cruise, I was taught that grace is patient. I let him have the "real" bed. It wasn't worth arguing about, and I knew it was right to think of him before myself. Even if I failed the first few thoughts. Grace doesn't lose her temper with a little brother who has always slept in the "couch" bed when traveling. Grace doesn't lose her temper because she is blessed to know she has a bed tonight that she doesn't have to share.
When we were on our cruise, I realized that grace relaxes perfectionism and doesn't demand her own way. I hate this lesson. I will probably learn it everyday for the rest of my life. I'm the kind of person who reads all the flyers and watches the information channel just to tell you that yes, we do need to eat before we leave and yes, they will call us off the ship at this time. I like to know where things are and how much they cost and what time the show is and I'm not afraid to tell you. Early in our vacation, my mom pulled me aside and said, "Sometimes it hurts people when you talk like you know more than they do." Instead of getting defensive, I listened. It is God's Grace that grants me a second chance when I'm not perfect. Who am I to demand everyone be perfect on the first try? I mean, really?
I heard somewhere that humans were not made to withstand every shake. Just as tall buildings in earthquake-prone areas are made with a bit of flexibility to them, so also are people made to "wobble" a bit. Grace is what lets us struggle like buildings in an earthquake. If we were always strong, we would never wobble, and a single catastrophe would ruin our lives. But if we allow ourselves to struggle, if we allow ourselves grace, we will not crumble at the first sign of disaster. We will weather the storm. Don't bottle it in; let yourself feel and move and wobble.
It's been fifteen interesting and unique days. I'm ready to keep at it this year. Before I sign off, I have one very exciting tid-bit to share. I will completing my student teaching one year from now. I applied to complete this student teaching experience overseas and I just discovered today that my placement at a specific international school has been secured. I will receive a confirmation of placement soon, but I could not wait to share the name of my school. Want to take a guess? Grace International School, of course!
I'm writing this post as part of a monthly link-up party for OneWord through Only a Breath. Check out the January reminder and other bloggers' thoughts on their words for the year.
For more information on my overseas student teaching trip, visit Alex's Adventures in Asia.
What has God been teaching you about grace?
What has God been teaching you about grace?
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Thursday, January 3, 2013
Intentional Grace.
Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.- People of the Second Chance
I like to categorize things. I organize my clothes based on occasion in which to wear them. I organize my music into theme or season playlists. I spent a long time cleaning up this blog when I could have been cleaning up my room. It's the act of categorization that makes me happy.
Looking back over my recent history, it is clear to me that stages of my life fall into certain categories. For example, high school was very over-extenuating and provided me with opportunities (not always taken until much later) to learn quite a bit. My freshman year of college was a time of new opportunities and new friends, especially that spring, when I developed many of the friendships I still have today. It was that next semester (fall of my sophomore year) when I realized how much I needed those reliable friendships I had formed. That was one of the most painful times yet. With the spring of my sophomore year came a lot of coming to terms with the past. This "past" included thirteen years ago, eight years ago, and even the semester just prior. I started counseling that semester. It was that February when God called me to singleness of heart (and it was April when He redefined it). Summer 2012 was marked by an amazing and life-changing trip to Asia.
And then I began my junior year. Looking back over last semester (fall of my junior year), I see a lot of growth. I treasure the growth and challenges and "pressing through the hurt" that occurred from August to December 2012. I went through a funk but I came out on the other side. I learned quite a bit about God and grace.
I have also learned to learn from the past and move on. So in this post, I want to look ahead. When I was preparing for 2013, I stumbled across a project called OneWord365. In this project, participants choose one word and meditate on it (and live it!) for one entire year. I knew I had to participate.
Is it any wonder the word I chose was grace?
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| OneWord button courtesy of Melanie at www.onlyabreath.com. |
I feel as if I'm at that point in my walk where I've gone through some difficult challenges and now God is asking me to put what I learned into practice. I know I am not finished with the tough stuff, because I still have work to do before my sanctification is complete. The good news is that God is not finished with me yet. His graciousness means he never gives up. He is still working, and He is working in his timing.
I believe this is the time for me to move. To be adventurous. To act on what he's shown me. And what has he shown me? That He is good. All the time. That He is just and merciful. That He is forgiving.
That He is full of grace.
And if God Himself is not angry with me, who do I have to fear? If God Himself is not upset with me, what can anyone or anything else do to me? If I know that God is forgiving and accepting and gracious towards me, how will I then treat others?
With intentional grace.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Thankful for His Grace
What is God's response when we sin? What is his attitude towards us? Is God angry at us?
I've written about my legalistic tendencies before, but to reiterate, I have a very difficult time accepting grace. To me, and to many people, it seems as if a perfect God would not tolerate any sinfulness on our part, and that immediate repentance and begging and pleading is required to appease his wrath that occurs because of our sin.
Yet is that really how God views us? Romans 8 says "nothing will be able separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus." Nothing. Nothing in the future or in the past. Just prior to that verse, Paul writes that it is God who sent his only son, Jesus, to die for us, which means that God would not turn around and then condemn us. Jesus has already stood in our place to receive our punishment. Since we are justified by God through Jesus, Jesus cannot and will not condemn us either. Romans 8:34 says that Jesus died and rose again, and is now sitting at God's right hand interceding or pleading for us. That means that he is praying for us continually.
Why would Jesus pray for us? To paraphrase theologian Bryan Chapell, Jesus is pleading for us even today because we still sin even today. Why yes, Christians still sin, but, like I wrote earlier, sin in a Christian's life eventually leads him or her closer to God. Where sin abounds, grace does much more abound. God's grace is overflowing for us because he has already redeemed us. God doesn't change his mind when it comes to grace.
Yet, here is my dilemma. If God will keep forgiving me, do I have to stop sinning? What if sin feels good or is a natural response? Paul asked this same question in Romans 5:20-6:2:
Another thing to consider is that sin disrupts our relationship with God. I would argue that it doesn't change how God sees and feels about us (remember, he doesn't change his mind), but it changes how we feel about God. I think the Holy Spirit convicts us, but I don't think God is stomping around like an angry Zeus. Ever done something behind someone's back that you should not have done, and then ignored them because you felt guilty about it? That is what happens when Christians sin. We feel bad about it and there is a disruption in our relationship with God. Yes, sin is sin, and yes, it is wrong. However, I think too many Christians forget that Jesus has truly already died for our sins.
I described this phenomenon of sin actually drawing us closer to God in an earlier post:
So, how do we know that God really loves us? Open your Bible! It's full of God's love. Jason Zahn says that when dealing with repetitive sins, we know we are doing the right thing if we are making progress towards sanctification. It may be hard to see for a while, but when we see that we are sinning less, that we are pursuing Bible study, prayer, worship, and community, and that, as Zahn says, we are "grow[ing] in understanding [of our] Savior," we know that God continues to forgive. Not only does he continue to forgive, but he continues to love.
Remember, you don't have to have all your crap together to approach God. Not the first time you approach him or the 47th time. Or the 8,739th time. Because in reality, the Christian life is not actually about us. My sanctification is not the end all be all of Christ's death and resurrection. Fortunately, Christ came and died so all the nations would be saved through him. Really, this life is about God and his ultimate cosmic plan. I believe his plan includes my growth and maturation and sanctification as a follower of Him. But I also believe there's more to it than that.
This November, I am challenging myself to be thankful for his grace. I have often been very cynical of it. I have thought things like, "Why on earth would God still love someone like me?" And, "Since I don't understand why God would forgive me, I'm not going to accept it." What a horrible way to treat the death of my Savior! He died so that I might live, and I refuse to live. Ridiculous.
I'm remembering, even today, that in Him, I am literally a new creation. When he says that the old has gone, he is not saying that it is my duty to remove everything bad from my life. That is what I am aiming for, but He is doing it in me and through me. It is a slow process, but all good things are slow processes.
Two years ago, I never would have imagined that when God told me he was going to do great and wonderful things in me and through me before there was a guy in my life, he meant all that has happened since then. I mean, I've had some guy troubles, some friendship troubles, I've begun counseling, I've faced the crap that I stuffed for many years... I went to Asia and I'm planning to go back (wow!), I felt my calling to teaching solidified... so much has happened. So much has changed. Finally, I'm out of the "funk" that haunted me for several weeks earlier this semester. I'm starting to see God and Christianity in a new light. I'm starting to see his forgiveness as beautiful and merciful, not as unwanted as I did before. I'm (very slowly) starting to see marriage as viable, possible, and not completely terrifying.
Does all of this mean that God's going to plop Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome right in front of me tomorrow? I'd be beyond surprised if he did. It does mean that God is still doing those great and wonderful things. He hasn't given up on me and He is still working in my life.
What a beautiful, gracious, amazing, and mighty God we serve. Oh, how he loves!
I've written about my legalistic tendencies before, but to reiterate, I have a very difficult time accepting grace. To me, and to many people, it seems as if a perfect God would not tolerate any sinfulness on our part, and that immediate repentance and begging and pleading is required to appease his wrath that occurs because of our sin.
Yet is that really how God views us? Romans 8 says "nothing will be able separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus." Nothing. Nothing in the future or in the past. Just prior to that verse, Paul writes that it is God who sent his only son, Jesus, to die for us, which means that God would not turn around and then condemn us. Jesus has already stood in our place to receive our punishment. Since we are justified by God through Jesus, Jesus cannot and will not condemn us either. Romans 8:34 says that Jesus died and rose again, and is now sitting at God's right hand interceding or pleading for us. That means that he is praying for us continually.
Why would Jesus pray for us? To paraphrase theologian Bryan Chapell, Jesus is pleading for us even today because we still sin even today. Why yes, Christians still sin, but, like I wrote earlier, sin in a Christian's life eventually leads him or her closer to God. Where sin abounds, grace does much more abound. God's grace is overflowing for us because he has already redeemed us. God doesn't change his mind when it comes to grace.
Yet, here is my dilemma. If God will keep forgiving me, do I have to stop sinning? What if sin feels good or is a natural response? Paul asked this same question in Romans 5:20-6:2:
....But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.Chapter six goes on to say that we are no longer slaves to sin. As Christians, we have been redeemed. Grace reigns in us through righteousness for eternal life. Yet in God, we have the full power to tell Satan to get out of our way. We can say "No." We are no longer slaves to sin.
Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?
Another thing to consider is that sin disrupts our relationship with God. I would argue that it doesn't change how God sees and feels about us (remember, he doesn't change his mind), but it changes how we feel about God. I think the Holy Spirit convicts us, but I don't think God is stomping around like an angry Zeus. Ever done something behind someone's back that you should not have done, and then ignored them because you felt guilty about it? That is what happens when Christians sin. We feel bad about it and there is a disruption in our relationship with God. Yes, sin is sin, and yes, it is wrong. However, I think too many Christians forget that Jesus has truly already died for our sins.
I described this phenomenon of sin actually drawing us closer to God in an earlier post:
When we sin now, as believers, we can come to God and kneel before him and confess, "God, I'm sorry for my sin. I repent." And you know what? God says, "What sin? I don't know what you're talking about. Come up here and sit on my lap."God's forgiveness does not give us a license to sin. In fact, it should make us want to sin less. Wow, God really loves me. I'm so grateful for that and I don't want to take advantage of it. John 14:15 says, "If you love me, obey my commandments." When we love God, we are more likely to not want to sin against him. When we know that God loves us, we are more likely to come to him in repentance, not terrified fear, after sinning.
So, how do we know that God really loves us? Open your Bible! It's full of God's love. Jason Zahn says that when dealing with repetitive sins, we know we are doing the right thing if we are making progress towards sanctification. It may be hard to see for a while, but when we see that we are sinning less, that we are pursuing Bible study, prayer, worship, and community, and that, as Zahn says, we are "grow[ing] in understanding [of our] Savior," we know that God continues to forgive. Not only does he continue to forgive, but he continues to love.
Remember, you don't have to have all your crap together to approach God. Not the first time you approach him or the 47th time. Or the 8,739th time. Because in reality, the Christian life is not actually about us. My sanctification is not the end all be all of Christ's death and resurrection. Fortunately, Christ came and died so all the nations would be saved through him. Really, this life is about God and his ultimate cosmic plan. I believe his plan includes my growth and maturation and sanctification as a follower of Him. But I also believe there's more to it than that.
This November, I am challenging myself to be thankful for his grace. I have often been very cynical of it. I have thought things like, "Why on earth would God still love someone like me?" And, "Since I don't understand why God would forgive me, I'm not going to accept it." What a horrible way to treat the death of my Savior! He died so that I might live, and I refuse to live. Ridiculous.
I'm remembering, even today, that in Him, I am literally a new creation. When he says that the old has gone, he is not saying that it is my duty to remove everything bad from my life. That is what I am aiming for, but He is doing it in me and through me. It is a slow process, but all good things are slow processes.
Two years ago, I never would have imagined that when God told me he was going to do great and wonderful things in me and through me before there was a guy in my life, he meant all that has happened since then. I mean, I've had some guy troubles, some friendship troubles, I've begun counseling, I've faced the crap that I stuffed for many years... I went to Asia and I'm planning to go back (wow!), I felt my calling to teaching solidified... so much has happened. So much has changed. Finally, I'm out of the "funk" that haunted me for several weeks earlier this semester. I'm starting to see God and Christianity in a new light. I'm starting to see his forgiveness as beautiful and merciful, not as unwanted as I did before. I'm (very slowly) starting to see marriage as viable, possible, and not completely terrifying.
Does all of this mean that God's going to plop Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome right in front of me tomorrow? I'd be beyond surprised if he did. It does mean that God is still doing those great and wonderful things. He hasn't given up on me and He is still working in my life.
What a beautiful, gracious, amazing, and mighty God we serve. Oh, how he loves!
What I'm Listening To:
"Free" - Switchfoot
"Only Grace" - Matthew West
"Desert Soul" - Rend Collective Experiment
"This Love is Free" - Hyland
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Friday, October 26, 2012
Love Yourself: Advice for Christians (Part Two)
If you missed part one, you can read it here.
I accepted Jesus into my heart fourteen years ago this month. I've spent fourteen years in this religion that is more like a relationship; fourteen years deeper into the heart of God.
A lot has changed since then. For one, I have learned how to articulate my beliefs. I finally nailed down my views on Calvinism and Arminianism (closer to the latter), soteriology (ransom theory with a bit of Christus Victor), and predestination ("ordained" free will... kinda). In addition, I've had my fair share of heartaches, victories, doubts, and beliefs. I watched the breaking apart of my parents' marriage. I lost a piece of my innocence. I lost my grandpa. I faced my fears. I began counseling.
Sometimes I characterize my growing up as "overchurched," in the sense that attending a Christian school and being involved in every activity at church often made me jaded to Christ. I literally did not want to hear it anymore. Unfortunately, living with a continual and typically repetitive or even simplistic "dose" of Jesus every time you turn around can be unhealthy. We may forget the most important things about Christianity.
Case in point: We all know the words of John 3:16 by heart, but most of us really do not believe them in our hearts. John 3:16 begins with these two words: God loves. Do we believe that he loves? Does our acknowledgement of his love change the way we live, interact, or think?
In my last post, I offered the idea that the advice "Love Yourself" can actually be beneficial for Christians. When I look at 1 Corinthians 13 and see that love is patient, love is kind, it only makes sense that I would treat myself, just as I treat others, in those ways.
To continue with 1 Corinthians 13, verse five says that love "keeps no record of being wronged." When it comes to loving yourself, I think this phrase goes both ways. Love does not make a list of every time someone sins against you. But also, love does not make a list of every time you sin. Yourself. Love is not about keeping the law or maintaining rules and regulations. Love is about living a spirit-filled life. Romans 8:3-4 reads:
Now, take this theology and apply it to keeping no record of wrongs. If Romans 8:1 is correct, if there really is no condemnation for those who in Christ Jesus, then of course God does not make a list of our sins and judge us by it. He loves us as his children, and I believe he isn't about to bring up our past sins to make us feel guilty or to place blame or shame on us. That's not the way love works.
Similarly, when we talk about loving ourselves, it is important that we acknowledge that we sin, that we are aware that we are not yet who we want to be in Christ, but that we not become obsessed with feeling bad about our sins or walking around with this subjective feeling of "condemnation" for doing something wrong. Has God forgiven you? Has God already forgiven you? The answer is a firm and resounding Yes. Don't keep holding to that bad feeling after you sin. 1 John 1:9 says, "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness." So confess it and move on.
Keeping a record of your wrongs and bringing them up again every single time someone mentions forgiveness and grace is a pretty depressing way to live. I know. I've been there. The thing is, God doesn't care about all of that. He loves you regardless. He loves you for who he made you to be. He loves you because His son's blood covers all of your sins. Why hold on to something Jesus has already washed off of you? Why grasp the chains of sin and guilt that Jesus already broke? Tenth Avenue North sings:
Hebrews chapter four says that since Jesus was tempted in every way we are, yet he did not sin, we can "approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (Hebrews 4:16). God is not angry at us! He wants to give us mercy and grace. He wants to help us in our weaknesses. He beckons us towards him. What a beautiful realization that, even though it seems impossible, if we give God our pain and mistakes and heartaches, if we reveal to him our brokenness and sins, he will redeem us. He will forgive us. In fact, he already has. Come to the water, my friend.
God keeps no record of wrongs. Love keeps no record of wrongs (your own or someone else's). To love yourself means to not beat yourself up over what has happened in the past. To love yourself means to confess it and move on, to accept God's graciousness and forgiveness and be loved. To let yourself be loved.
1 Corinthians 13:7 says that love always hopes. Check back for part three where I will discuss how hope applies to loving yourself.
I accepted Jesus into my heart fourteen years ago this month. I've spent fourteen years in this religion that is more like a relationship; fourteen years deeper into the heart of God.
A lot has changed since then. For one, I have learned how to articulate my beliefs. I finally nailed down my views on Calvinism and Arminianism (closer to the latter), soteriology (ransom theory with a bit of Christus Victor), and predestination ("ordained" free will... kinda). In addition, I've had my fair share of heartaches, victories, doubts, and beliefs. I watched the breaking apart of my parents' marriage. I lost a piece of my innocence. I lost my grandpa. I faced my fears. I began counseling.
Sometimes I characterize my growing up as "overchurched," in the sense that attending a Christian school and being involved in every activity at church often made me jaded to Christ. I literally did not want to hear it anymore. Unfortunately, living with a continual and typically repetitive or even simplistic "dose" of Jesus every time you turn around can be unhealthy. We may forget the most important things about Christianity.
Case in point: We all know the words of John 3:16 by heart, but most of us really do not believe them in our hearts. John 3:16 begins with these two words: God loves. Do we believe that he loves? Does our acknowledgement of his love change the way we live, interact, or think?
In my last post, I offered the idea that the advice "Love Yourself" can actually be beneficial for Christians. When I look at 1 Corinthians 13 and see that love is patient, love is kind, it only makes sense that I would treat myself, just as I treat others, in those ways.
To continue with 1 Corinthians 13, verse five says that love "keeps no record of being wronged." When it comes to loving yourself, I think this phrase goes both ways. Love does not make a list of every time someone sins against you. But also, love does not make a list of every time you sin. Yourself. Love is not about keeping the law or maintaining rules and regulations. Love is about living a spirit-filled life. Romans 8:3-4 reads:
The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin's control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.The thing is, under the new covenant (basically, the New Testament), we do not live by the rules of the Law (the old covenant, the Old Testament Law). And when we meet Christ and accept his free gift of salvation, we no longer live in slavery to the sinful nature. As born-again Christians, we live by the Spirit. God declared an end to both the law's control and sin's control over us.
Now, take this theology and apply it to keeping no record of wrongs. If Romans 8:1 is correct, if there really is no condemnation for those who in Christ Jesus, then of course God does not make a list of our sins and judge us by it. He loves us as his children, and I believe he isn't about to bring up our past sins to make us feel guilty or to place blame or shame on us. That's not the way love works.
Similarly, when we talk about loving ourselves, it is important that we acknowledge that we sin, that we are aware that we are not yet who we want to be in Christ, but that we not become obsessed with feeling bad about our sins or walking around with this subjective feeling of "condemnation" for doing something wrong. Has God forgiven you? Has God already forgiven you? The answer is a firm and resounding Yes. Don't keep holding to that bad feeling after you sin. 1 John 1:9 says, "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness." So confess it and move on.
Keeping a record of your wrongs and bringing them up again every single time someone mentions forgiveness and grace is a pretty depressing way to live. I know. I've been there. The thing is, God doesn't care about all of that. He loves you regardless. He loves you for who he made you to be. He loves you because His son's blood covers all of your sins. Why hold on to something Jesus has already washed off of you? Why grasp the chains of sin and guilt that Jesus already broke? Tenth Avenue North sings:
Your blood bought and makes us childrenFriends, a healthy realization that, as Christians, we still sin, is good. Yes, Christians still sin. The only difference is that sin does not drive us from God in a desperation, it actually ends up drawing us closer to God. When we sin now, as believers, we can come to God and kneel before him and confess, "God, I'm sorry for my sin. I repent." And you know what? God says, "What sin? I don't know what you're talking about." Come up here and sit on my lap.
Children drop your chains and sing
Hebrews chapter four says that since Jesus was tempted in every way we are, yet he did not sin, we can "approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (Hebrews 4:16). God is not angry at us! He wants to give us mercy and grace. He wants to help us in our weaknesses. He beckons us towards him. What a beautiful realization that, even though it seems impossible, if we give God our pain and mistakes and heartaches, if we reveal to him our brokenness and sins, he will redeem us. He will forgive us. In fact, he already has. Come to the water, my friend.
God keeps no record of wrongs. Love keeps no record of wrongs (your own or someone else's). To love yourself means to not beat yourself up over what has happened in the past. To love yourself means to confess it and move on, to accept God's graciousness and forgiveness and be loved. To let yourself be loved.
1 Corinthians 13:7 says that love always hopes. Check back for part three where I will discuss how hope applies to loving yourself.
What I'm Listening To:
Hallelujah, The Struggle, and Shadows - Tenth Avenue North
Doubts or Disbelief - Chasen
Doubts or Disbelief - Chasen
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Thursday, September 27, 2012
The Mystery of Grace
Towards the beginning of the summer, I wrote a post on my realization that God sees me, and that He is aware of me and cares specifically for me. Last week, after an incredible Spiritual Emphasis Week, I felt the need to write a post describing my interactions and reactions with what I learned in chapel.
But I was at a loss for words. Until tonight.
I was fighting the temptation to throw myself a pity party for some ridiculous reason when I hopped on to Twitter and saw a line from C.S. Lewis sitting on my homepage.
I was fighting the temptation to throw myself a pity party for some ridiculous reason when I hopped on to Twitter and saw a line from C.S. Lewis sitting on my homepage.
Wow. "He sees because He loves, and therefore loves although He sees."
I acknowledged back in June that God loves us and sees us, but I still have a difficult time understanding God's love "although He sees." The fact that he loves even though he knows we are broken and messy. Being a natural rule-follower, I have legalistic tendencies, which show up in huge way in my interactions with sin and grace. Grace, to a rule-follower and people-pleaser like me, is ludicrous. It makes zero sense. Why would a perfect God choose to love and forgive a consistently sinful person like me? My confession is that I don't understand grace.
If God truly saw me, We reason, he would never love me. He would never forgive me. He would always be angry with me.
If my friends knew who I really was, they would be disappointed in me or just avoid me.
If, God forbid, I told my pastor or even a mentor or counselor, about my struggles or pain, I would be pegged as a psycho by everyone who knew.
Um, hello? None of that is true. I know, I know, it is so hard to believe it. For one, our godly friends are gifts from heaven who make up the body of Christ for us. They are there to bear our burdens. A friend who will not only confront us with grace, but who will also hold us to accountable if and when we mess up again is extremely valuable (Galatians 6). Two, many times there are issues, struggles, or pain we legitmately cannot handle on our own. God gives us not only friends and family, but also pastors, mentors, counselors, and the like to walk with us through those dark places.
I'm in my second semester of counseling right now. It seems like forever ago when I asked one of the counselors on campus if we could talk. We dealt with my parents' divorce. We identified practical steps for dealing with a broken friendship. We talked about a personal struggle. I found freedom in naming my issues. I was working to learn from them and move on from them.
I signed up to continue counseling this semester without even thinking about it. I came back here to school three weeks ago, moved in, and began weekly meetings again. We both knew there was more to my story. I ignored it and my counselor didn't press for it.
And then one day I told him that we could do "feeling journals" for the rest of the semester, but I didn't feel like we would go anywhere until I told him the rest of the story. (Paul Harvey, anyone? Anyway...)
"There's more." I said simply. He nodded. Silently and obviously, I gathered the courage to open the door into one of the darkest places of my heart. It took almost four weeks, not to mention the semester prior, to get to that point where I could let someone in on the "stuffed stuff," meaning, the thoughts and experiences I tried so hard to forget. They keep coming back because, until that point, they had not been dealt with. Now, it is freeing that someone else knows me to my core. It is freeing to have a safe place to talk about things that have been hidden for so long.
So I have advocated for Christian siblings and for professional help, but I have failed to make the connection to God's grace. Yet. As Lewis said, "...He loves although He sees." Honestly, even as I sit here, I'm wondering if his love really is enough.
It seems to me that at any point, God could just stand up and say, "Look, Alex, I thought you were different. I thought my gift of salvation changed your life, but apparently you are still the sinful human now that you were back before salvation. It's too late for you. I'm tired of dealing with your crap."
Oh, how wrong that is! Brothers and sisters, God will never make that statement to any of us. I'm a firm believer in permanent salvation - God does not take it back.
Yet we know that God is holy, and, on our own, we are not. So, why does he love us? Because he wants to.
I was once told that the Japanese (and Chinese, I believe) symbol for righteousness is depicted by drawing the symbol for "lamb" above the symbol for "me." Thus, when God looks down from heaven, he doesn't see my sinfulness, but Christ (the lamb of God who took on the sin of the world) covering over me. (See more info here) This is righteousness. It is as if Jesus Christ, who never sinned, is like a white robe to cover me.
One of the most significant things I learned from Spiritual Emphasis Week is that God wants to come sit with me in my brokenness. He loves me enough to want to be invited into the dark places of my heart so we can drink Chai lattes (my drink of choice!) and feel that pain together. I believe the Holy Spirit is the person of the trinity who does just that.
And the reason that God can come into my place of sinfulness and pain with me? He's already forgiven me for it. "Christ suffered for our sins once for all time" (1 Peter). I think He is able to feel my pain because we have a high priest who sympathizes with us, namely, Jesus. He loves me intimately and wants me to trust him with the dark places. Isn't that beautiful?
Friends, God will not give up on you. I went to a Tenth Avenue North concert this past weekend and I was blown away by the stories Mike Donehey (the lead singer) shared about God's grace. I had pre-ordered the new album, The Struggle, when it was first available, but it wasn't until I heard Mike share stories and Biblical truths behind the album's songs that I was aware of how they really capture the idea of God's grace.
I hope to post more about grace as I'm learning to understand what I can of it, but I will leave you with this chorus from "The Struggle," by Tenth Avenue North.
Oh what a friend we have in Jesus...
I acknowledged back in June that God loves us and sees us, but I still have a difficult time understanding God's love "although He sees." The fact that he loves even though he knows we are broken and messy. Being a natural rule-follower, I have legalistic tendencies, which show up in huge way in my interactions with sin and grace. Grace, to a rule-follower and people-pleaser like me, is ludicrous. It makes zero sense. Why would a perfect God choose to love and forgive a consistently sinful person like me? My confession is that I don't understand grace.
If God truly saw me, We reason, he would never love me. He would never forgive me. He would always be angry with me.
If my friends knew who I really was, they would be disappointed in me or just avoid me.
If, God forbid, I told my pastor or even a mentor or counselor, about my struggles or pain, I would be pegged as a psycho by everyone who knew.
Um, hello? None of that is true. I know, I know, it is so hard to believe it. For one, our godly friends are gifts from heaven who make up the body of Christ for us. They are there to bear our burdens. A friend who will not only confront us with grace, but who will also hold us to accountable if and when we mess up again is extremely valuable (Galatians 6). Two, many times there are issues, struggles, or pain we legitmately cannot handle on our own. God gives us not only friends and family, but also pastors, mentors, counselors, and the like to walk with us through those dark places.
I'm in my second semester of counseling right now. It seems like forever ago when I asked one of the counselors on campus if we could talk. We dealt with my parents' divorce. We identified practical steps for dealing with a broken friendship. We talked about a personal struggle. I found freedom in naming my issues. I was working to learn from them and move on from them.
I signed up to continue counseling this semester without even thinking about it. I came back here to school three weeks ago, moved in, and began weekly meetings again. We both knew there was more to my story. I ignored it and my counselor didn't press for it.
And then one day I told him that we could do "feeling journals" for the rest of the semester, but I didn't feel like we would go anywhere until I told him the rest of the story. (Paul Harvey, anyone? Anyway...)
"There's more." I said simply. He nodded. Silently and obviously, I gathered the courage to open the door into one of the darkest places of my heart. It took almost four weeks, not to mention the semester prior, to get to that point where I could let someone in on the "stuffed stuff," meaning, the thoughts and experiences I tried so hard to forget. They keep coming back because, until that point, they had not been dealt with. Now, it is freeing that someone else knows me to my core. It is freeing to have a safe place to talk about things that have been hidden for so long.
So I have advocated for Christian siblings and for professional help, but I have failed to make the connection to God's grace. Yet. As Lewis said, "...He loves although He sees." Honestly, even as I sit here, I'm wondering if his love really is enough.
It seems to me that at any point, God could just stand up and say, "Look, Alex, I thought you were different. I thought my gift of salvation changed your life, but apparently you are still the sinful human now that you were back before salvation. It's too late for you. I'm tired of dealing with your crap."
Oh, how wrong that is! Brothers and sisters, God will never make that statement to any of us. I'm a firm believer in permanent salvation - God does not take it back.
Yet we know that God is holy, and, on our own, we are not. So, why does he love us? Because he wants to.
I was once told that the Japanese (and Chinese, I believe) symbol for righteousness is depicted by drawing the symbol for "lamb" above the symbol for "me." Thus, when God looks down from heaven, he doesn't see my sinfulness, but Christ (the lamb of God who took on the sin of the world) covering over me. (See more info here) This is righteousness. It is as if Jesus Christ, who never sinned, is like a white robe to cover me.
One of the most significant things I learned from Spiritual Emphasis Week is that God wants to come sit with me in my brokenness. He loves me enough to want to be invited into the dark places of my heart so we can drink Chai lattes (my drink of choice!) and feel that pain together. I believe the Holy Spirit is the person of the trinity who does just that.
And the reason that God can come into my place of sinfulness and pain with me? He's already forgiven me for it. "Christ suffered for our sins once for all time" (1 Peter). I think He is able to feel my pain because we have a high priest who sympathizes with us, namely, Jesus. He loves me intimately and wants me to trust him with the dark places. Isn't that beautiful?
Friends, God will not give up on you. I went to a Tenth Avenue North concert this past weekend and I was blown away by the stories Mike Donehey (the lead singer) shared about God's grace. I had pre-ordered the new album, The Struggle, when it was first available, but it wasn't until I heard Mike share stories and Biblical truths behind the album's songs that I was aware of how they really capture the idea of God's grace.
I hope to post more about grace as I'm learning to understand what I can of it, but I will leave you with this chorus from "The Struggle," by Tenth Avenue North.
Hallelujah, we are free to struggleSuddenly, freedom in Christ becomes a much more beautiful thing. Yes, God sees us because he loves us. As a direct result, he also loves us even though he sees us. All of us. They say a true friend knows everything about you and still loves you.
But we're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
Children, drop your chains and sing
Oh what a friend we have in Jesus...
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Saturday, May 14, 2011
Doing It Alone (Part Two)
Yesterday, after finishing up a very long post about how I was never meant to go at life alone, I got a crazy idea to make breakfast for dinner for my little brother and me. I fried bacon (which could have been a little more crispy), made cheese grits, toast, and cereal. I was starting to get a little prideful, when all of a sudden a crack of thunder shook the house and knocked the power out. The rain outside the kitchen window was blinding. And I was home alone with a thirteen year old boy who was afraid of the dark.
Thanks, God.
Again, reminding me that I can't do it alone, my older stepbrother and his friend came home from the Fire department (where my stepbrother is a regular volunteer). Together, we found candles and lit them. My stepbrother got the oil lantern from our parents' room, lit it, and proceeded to give me instructions on how to use it (which was definitely humorous, considering he didn't know how to use it either). He made sure the kitchen, living room, and bathroom were adequately lit and asked if we needed anything. It was all very nonchalant and simple, but I appreciated it. They even taught my little brother some wrestling moves, just for fun. (I was just afraid they were going to knock down a candle and set the house on fire.) They stayed for a while before leaving again.
I can't do it alone. I would be lying if I said my stepbrother coming home to check on us and the house didn't make me feel any safer. And I felt even better when my mom came home about twenty-minutes later. It's weird to say, but I wasn't completely satisfied until my stepdad came home just a few minutes later. The funny thing is, right after he got home and found a flashlight, the power came back on.
There's something to be said for trusting other people. I've been rereading the Eldridge's book Captivating recently and it hits me hard every time I pick it up. This morning, I read about the two ways women try to deal with their wounds: becoming either dominating or desolate. The dominating woman hides behind everything she has to do. She becomes busy. She seems successful - she could be a CEO or chairman of the PTA or president of Key Club (sound familiar?). But inside, she's hurting. She's hiding. The desolate woman throws herself at men. She doesn't have a handle on who she is and often falls into abusive situations. She doesn't go for it; she doesn't go for anything. Inside, she's hurting, too. This is what women are told: "Hide your vulnerability. Hide your heart. You aren't safe."
We women are told that we aren't enough, and that we're too much, at the same time. And because of that, we tend to fall into two categories. Dominating or desolate. I see a little of myself in both. I get and stay busy. Last semester, I was stressed on multiple occasions (okay, pretty much every week). And that's the way I lived: one week at a time. Where was my time for rest? Where was my time to have fun with friends? To stay late and pray with someone? To open my heart to what God wanted to say? No, I had to be busy. I had to move from one thing to the next. I couldn't open my heart. I didn't have time.
Why?
For many reasons. One of which is that I think I can't trust people. It's easy to stay busy. To glance at a watch when things get too emotional or vulnerable and say, "I hate it, but I have to run." It's hard to trust. It's easy to run on a time schedule.
Being a woman is not being weak. It's being vulnerable. It's being humble. It's being gracefully strong. It's being gentle. It's being true. It's being adventurous. Somewhere along the line, I missed this. I decided to be busy. There's nothing alluring and inviting in a constantly busy and lonely woman. I use the word lonely because when you're constantly running, you're not relaxing in the company of friends.
Proverbs 11:16 says, "A woman of gentle grace gets respect..."
And I urge you to live in that place of gentle grace. It's beautiful. I'm learning to be real with people. It's taken 8 or 9 months to see that the people who really love me won't leave when I'm real with them. To confide in a friend pain I'm feeling, pain that is honest and raw and deep and messy, and for them to stay beside me and walk with me through it... That's the blessing that comes from being real with people. I'm learning how to do that. How to trust people. It's so hard! But it's so worth it. We were not meant to do this alone. We think we can. We think that since we were messed up and broken and lied to when we were little, people cannot be trusted anymore. So we put up walls. And one of my walls is busyness.
Sisters and brothers, I urge you. Go to God first. When your heart aches, go to Him before anything and anyone else. Give Him your ache. Let Him take it. Lay it at his feet and let Him pick you up and hold you in His arms.
And when He's held for you for longer than you think you need to be held, watch for the people He's placing in your life who will walk with you step-by-step through the healing. Yeah, healing takes time. Usually it's messier than anything you've seen before. But don't forget this one thing...
You were never meant to do this alone.
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Saturday, November 13, 2010
Where's Your Heart?
It's days when I feel like everything is going perfectly when God reminds me how I can do nothing. It's those days when everything is seemingly going how I planned and I'm starting to feel prideful that I accomplished everything today, when I'm left with a weird feeling. It doesn't feel like "emptiness" per say, but it definitely feels like I'm missing something. It feels like a consistent, unquenchable yearning for something more. But what?
Tell me: Where is your heart? What is it running after? What is your heart crying out? What is the song it is singing? In other words, what matters? What is it in your day-to-day that takes up your time, your thoughts, and your feelings? What makes you tick? What is your heart yearning for? What is your soul on fire for?
Hillsong sings, "My heart will sing no other name... Jesus, Jesus". And I'm reminded, on these days when I seem to have it all together, that the "cry of my heart [should be] to bring [Him] praise". The most important thing is not my success. When I get ready for bed, I should not be asking myself: "Did I have a good today? What did I accomplish today? How did I benefit today?" But rather, "God, are you glorified through me and how can I glorify You more? How did You use me to bless others today? And how can I love others with Your love tomorrow?"
I should rejoice in God's majesty and blessings! When good things happen, my immediate response should be to thank God and to praise him.
So, back to the first paragraph... Yep, I'm missing something. I'm missing God being the center of my life. Yes, I'm a Christian. But we can be Christians without living sold out for God. We can be Christians without being fully on fire and completely in love with God. And that's sad. So I'm urging you tonight to remember why you're here. Why you are pressing on in this complicated thing called life. Why you're even a Christian!
Remember back to the moment (or moments) you realized you were a desperate sinner and needed God above anything else. Remember how poor, lost, broken, and hopeless you were and felt. Go ahead. It's okay to feel it. But not for too long. Because you are no longer like that! Rejoice in the fact that God sent his son to pay the highest ransom (death!) for you. And he would have died for you even if you were the only person in the world. What a wonderful realization that is. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 lists a multitude of sins that, if practiced, do not lead to heaven. But verse eleven says, "Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." So rejoice. You've been set free! This is a call to remember what Christ did for us and to look forward to what he will do in providing heaven. This mindset keeps us focused on what really matters every day.
Live like Christ died yesterday, rose this morning, and is coming back tomorrow.
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Monday, October 25, 2010
A Call to Apologize and Forgive
Here's a song that exemplifies my call to apologize and forgive.
When we realize that God gave us everything when He didn't owe us anything and we didn't deserve anything, it makes us so much more willing to forgive others and to move on past both our mistakes and their mistakes. It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Embers and Envelopes
By: Mae
We ask to look past life as it goes by
I know you have sacrificed time, life, love, time to fly
Please consider all things trite,
forgiveness will be the thing that gets us by
I know to have something like this broken, is hard to fix
Embers, we're burning bridges down
Our envelopes stuffed with feelings found
To write this down as means to reconcile
Embers, we're burning bridges down
Our envelopes stuffed with feelings found
To write this down as means to reconcile
We write to patch things up,
maybe not to agree but to proclaim love.
Let's look ahead and then we'll see the One whose glory never ends.
And based on that we'll see,
there'll be room for change, but gradually.
I know to have something like this broken is hard to fix.
Embers, we're burning bridges down.
Our envelopes stuffed with feelings found.
To write this down as means to reconcile.
If all is said and done and over,
If we don't have to, we're not gonna
Make the change, it's worth the try.
What's broken can be fixed tonight.
Embers, we're burning bridges down.
Our envelopes stuffed with feelings found.
To write this down as means to reconcile.
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