Reminiscing about the Future

(aka Poetry No. 5)

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I sit here reminiscing about the future

Memories of my home away from home

Recollections of the butterflies, matching steps, and hopeful glances

I sit here remembering what is yet to come

Flashbacks of anticipated anecdotes

My anamnesis of warm moments, when the world outside is chilly

My reflection of the future houses thoughtful gestures, thoughtless arguments

It holds harmonious hours and mistaken minutes

It harbors intimate identities and unrealized carelessness

But the thread that keeps my future memories together is selfless passion

Mine and Yours

Couldn't wait to get going...

...But wasn't quite ready to leave.

Don't you just love music? That quote is from the song "American Honey" by: Lady Antebellum. It tells a story of memories of a girl years ago who "innocent, pure, and sweet, like American Honey".
And on the topic of memories, today was my last official day of high school. Right now, I just want it to be over, but I know that come graduation, I will be crying. It's always depressing to leave behind the only ground you've had for 8+ years. Yet it's a joyous cause for celebration to move on in life, to grow as a person and encounter new things and make decisions for yourself.
So, yeah, I feel like I always couldn't wait to get going, but I'm still not ready to leave. Where did the time go? And why am I here? How did I end up at Shannon Forest, in this house, with this family, and these friends, and these relationships? How did I get here? How did I come this far?

Matchbox 20 sings, "Let's see how far we've come". Hebrews 13:14 says, "For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come."

Yeah, I've come this far. But why? Because I worked hard and made A's? Because I'm so awesome in everything I try? Haha, no.
Because the God who created me offered his Son to take away the penalty for my sins, so I could realize His free gift of salvation and heaven, and experience some earthly successes as well.
I'm not here because of me. I'm here because of Him.
Still, though, it's pretty awesome that I'm here at all. :)

Memories Are Funny Things

So, the play is over. It went marvelous. The stage kiss got better each time, as did my characterization. I felt like my character. Pretty cool stuff. Tons of people came to support me and my fellow actors / actresses. Lots of thanks to those people who made the play possible, not to mention those who have impacted me and reminded me that mentally and physically disabled people are people, too.
If you didn't know, we performed the play, Flowers for Algernon. It's about a disabled young man (Charlie Gordon) who receives an operation that will make him "smart". I played Charlie's teacher, Alice Kinnian. The most important quote of the play is when Charlie says that he is a human being, "And I was before you wheeled me into that operating room". It gives me chills.
And to think - my last high school play is this thought-provoking, deeper-meaning, powerful play.
The poem (You Remain, below) is about the fact that life goes on. After the best time with friends, you still wake up in the morning and go on about your life. After the worst fight or break-up or whatever, there's tomorrow. And after all that, what remains? What's left?
So, the play is over. Tuesday at 1:30pm, we'll be packing up props and sweeping the stage instead of rehearsing a scene and setting the stage. We'll be smiling at pictures that have been posted on Facebook instead of smiling for pictures that haven't been posted yet.
And some people may say: So, it wasn't worth it. Which, obviously, it was. The message of the play (disabled and handicapped people are people, too), the friendships that have grown, the memories that have formed... All those things are worth it. Definitely worth it!