Where's Your Heart?

It's days when I feel like everything is going perfectly when God reminds me how I can do nothing. It's those days when everything is seemingly going how I planned and I'm starting to feel prideful that I accomplished everything today, when I'm left with a weird feeling. It doesn't feel like "emptiness" per say, but it definitely feels like I'm missing something. It feels like a consistent, unquenchable yearning for something more. But what?

Tell me: Where is your heart? What is it running after? What is your heart crying out? What is the song it is singing? In other words, what matters? What is it in your day-to-day that takes up your time, your thoughts, and your feelings? What makes you tick? What is your heart yearning for? What is your soul on fire for?

Hillsong sings, "My heart will sing no other name... Jesus, Jesus". And I'm reminded, on these days when I seem to have it all together, that the "cry of my heart [should be] to bring [Him] praise". The most important thing is not my success. When I get ready for bed, I should not be asking myself: "Did I have a good today? What did I accomplish today? How did I benefit today?" But rather, "God, are you glorified through me and how can I glorify You more? How did You use me to bless others today? And how can I love others with Your love tomorrow?"

I should rejoice in God's majesty and blessings! When good things happen, my immediate response should be to thank God and to praise him.

So, back to the first paragraph... Yep, I'm missing something. I'm missing God being the center of my life. Yes, I'm a Christian. But we can be Christians without living sold out for God. We can be Christians without being fully on fire and completely in love with God. And that's sad. So I'm urging you tonight to remember why you're here. Why you are pressing on in this complicated thing called life. Why you're even a Christian!

Remember back to the moment (or moments) you realized you were a desperate sinner and needed God above anything else. Remember how poor, lost, broken, and hopeless you were and felt. Go ahead. It's okay to feel it. But not for too long. Because you are no longer like that! Rejoice in the fact that God sent his son to pay the highest ransom (death!) for you. And he would have died for you even if you were the only person in the world. What a wonderful realization that is. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 lists a multitude of sins that, if practiced, do not lead to heaven. But verse eleven says, "Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." So rejoice. You've been set free! This is a call to remember what Christ did for us and to look forward to what he will do in providing heaven. This mindset keeps us focused on what really matters every day.

Live like Christ died yesterday, rose this morning, and is coming back tomorrow.

Facebook Fast Update #2

Today is day 6 1/2. Tomorrow the "half" is really the whole day because I promised not to get on Facebook until after prom. I won't be home from prom until midnight, which is obviously Sunday. :)

Anyway, other than daydreaming about what my crops must be doing, or wondering how many notifications I'll have when I return, fasting from Facebook isn't truly that hard.

But I have a confession. By eliminating Facebook, I haven't really replaced it with something else. I mean, my life is so busy anyway, but I thought I'd have all this time to do whatever with. Turns out I just watch tv and go to bed earlier. Not entirely what I thought I'd do.

Although maybe today will be different. No school today. I'm getting my eyebrows done at 10:15, then heading to the mall for some kind of hair accessory for prom. I'll be home before lunch, so what am I going to do with the rest of my day? Work on homework for Monday? (Probably, because all I have is a Budget plan for Econ.)

But, I digress. The point is that I'll have more free time today and tomorrow morning/early afternoon. Which is why I'm writing here instead of posting a good Facebook status.

Something I've realized while doing this is that you get out what you put in. When I stopped making status updates, I stopped getting as many e-mails (something I forgot to turn off) announcing that my friends had commented on my statuses. I think that concept applies to other areas of life, too. If I put hours into a certain friendship or relationship, building up the other person, communicating, developing inside jokes... I'm going to get something great out of it. Same thing with God. I haven't been putting in much lately. I've been feeling like I'm working too hard and I'm not getting anything out.

At youth group on Wednesday, the message series was called "Flirt" and it's about "the air and opportunity between God and me". Our youth pastor told us that (in the best sense), God is flirting with us. He draws us towards him and chases us, like guys should do for girls. I've never really heard it mentioned like that before. And I've never really felt like that before. It always seems like I have to do the work to get to God.

People always quote James 4:8 ("Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.") which always leaves me wondering if I have to be perfect to enter God's presence, if I have to do to the work to get to know God. Wouldn't he want to get to know me?

Since context is king, I went to James chapter 4. It describes sinful, covetous people who quarrel and fight because they don't have what they want "because you do not ask God" (v. 2). It goes on to say that when they ask, they ask with "wrong motives" (v. 3).

It says that "friendship with the world is hatred toward God" (v. 4) but that God gives us more grace if we are humble (v. 6). Verse seven is a call for submission to God and resistance to the devil. And there is verse eight, which tells us to draw near to God and purify ourselves. Verses nine and ten tell us to be sad and gloomy and to humble ourselves so God will lift us up.

Huh?

So then I looked at a commentary (here). The commentary says that James is clear about sinful practices and motives "not to leave us in deeper despair over it, but that we may humble ourselves before the Lord and find grace for change". But the commentary does not speak directly to verse 8.

I have to go take a shower, but I trust that this will be resolved. Secretly, though, it's a little scary. Ever been pursued by a guy? It's unnerving! It's hard to know what's happening next.

More later.

Facebook Fast Update #1

Facebook withdrawal is starting to set in and it's been less than an hour. Seriously, I just thought of a Facebook status about fasting from Facebook. Then I thought of a Facebook status about thinking about a Facebook status about fasting from Facebook. It's that bad.

I'm fasting from Facebook for seven days to put my focus back on God. Basically, all the time I would have spent on Facebook, I'll now spend with God and family and friends (in real life).

Is it going to work? Not sure. But it's my feeble attempt to get my mind on what really matters - God. And also to stop wasting my time - which I do a lot.

Lord willing I can curb my Facebook addiction!

Oh boy... This will be harder than I thought.