God is Pursuing You...

...Even when your busyness is overwhelming.

I've got some things on my heart right now that I really need to express. For one, this is the third week of the Spring semester of my Freshman year of college. Literally, it feels like I just got here. I'm so impressed with how quickly everything seems to be passing by.

In addition, this semester has marked the beginning of my participation in several activities, including my first Student Ministry (semester-long community or campus service). For my student ministry, I'm working with my new church in the youth and children's ministries. I am also leading a Bible Study for the girls in my dorm on the book of Esther (we had our second meeting today) and co-leading a group here on campus that is studying the movie "To Save a Life". In addition, I'm working 15 hours a week (3 more than last semester) and slowly assuming the responsibilities as Secretary in a club that was created to spread awareness and prevent sex trafficking of minors. And, last but not least, I'm taking 15 credit hours, which is 5 classes.

Surviving this semester in one piece will be a miracle. But you know what the cool thing is? God still works miracles. :)

And the fact of the matter is that God is still pursuing me. He's showing me amazing things. On Monday, I was beginning to worry about not having the right lesson plans for Bible study today. I had a theme I wanted to talk about, but I couldn't find a good story to tie Esther's experiences to modern day. In my 11am class on Monday, a missionary couple was invited to speak, and the wife told us the story of how they became missionaries and how God was calling them into the field. It was so beautiful, and I knew it was perfect for relating to God calling Esther to the King's Palace.

God is still pursuing me. Even when things get crazy, God's ridiculously in love with me. And you! And he would love for you to take a break from the hectic-ness of life and just spend some moments with him. Spend some time focused on him, his love for you, the amazing gift of his son whom he sent for you. And after being romanced by your Savior, go love someone. Christ has shown us what it means to love so we can go and be love for those around us.

Be still and know that he is God and let him recharge you to go out and love others.

What More Do I Want?

Sometimes I get so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I get so exhausted with striving and striving. Living the Christian life is exhausting and often burnout comes quickly, even if we have pure motives and are maintaining a consistent devotional time.

It's at the point of giving up with exhaustion when we ask God for a sign. We ask him to show or give us something that will keep us going. We beg him to make things happen in our lives, to fix our situations, to give us additional reassurance.

And then we sit down with our eyes closed and our ears plugged and we ignore God's thunderstorm outside.

Listen, God is working whether we see it or not! When we attribute a certain circumstance to chance or coincidence, God is working. When something just goes completely perfect, God is working. Things just don't happen. God is working them out. Also, God knows what we need. Even before we ourselves know it. He's just that awesome.

Some practical examples:

I was upset over a rift in a relationship, and God caused the other person to say something at just the right time to smooth things over.

I was worried about who I was going to room with next year, and a friend asked me if I would be willing to room with her - which was a total God thing.

I was focused so much on myself and what I do and what I need and a friend blessed me with words of encouragement, thanking me for something God had used me to do for other people.
I was beyond stressed over a paper that was due on Tuesday when I got an e-mail saying the due date had been extended to Thursday - so a couple more days to finish this long paper! Before I got the e-mail, my great-uncle reminded me he was praying for me and all the work I had due, and it really encouraged me to keep going.

There are a multitude of further examples. The point is that God is truly working. He is not silent; he is not absent. So while it's normal to want a sign from God, we don't need one. Every sunrise, every breath, every baby born, every moment is a sign that God is active in our world today, a sign that he really does care. We don't see God in actuality. And we typically don't audibly hear his voice. But he is here, active and present.

1 Peter 1:8 says, "Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy."

Is This What I Meant?

I'm writing this after a seemingly normal day in the life of me. I woke up, ate breakfast, checked my e-mail, drove to school, went to English where I talked about poems, went to Bible where I took a quiz and did a worksheet, went to Science where I took a test, went to lunch, went to Economics where I watched a Dave Ramsey video, drove home and did four transactions on my Economics project, worked on my Key Club Scholarship, checked my Facebook, then I ate leftover Taco soup and watched Law and Order: Criminal Intent until I left for Bible Study which was at the coffee shop, I led the lesson at Bible Study about Abraham after listening to one of our members practice her speech on faberge eggs for her class tomorrow, then I came home and watched House with my mom as I made a Facebook event for next week's Bible Study and talked with a friend about a possible move night next week, then I got my laptop and went into my room where I continued to work on my scholarship application, and where I realized that I was supposed to buy a costume for the upcoming play, in which I play the main female role, then I logged on to my online yearbook program to work on my page which is due the day after tomorrow, and then I logged in here.

And it occurred to me: On Thursday I will be 18 years old. Of course, I've been planning events and talking about it with my friends, but it finally hit me. I suddenly realized: Wow. I wondered: When I was younger, and I dreamed about being 18, is this what I had meant? Is this what I had envisioned for my future?

I had always wanted to be involved and active in my world and have a lot of friends and a boyfriend and a car and that sort of thing. And sure, I'm the president of my school's Key Club, I'm a member of my church and my church's youth group, and my church's youth group's leadership team, and my church's Guest Services team, and... But sometimes it just seems like busy-ness. My younger self always thought that I would find immense fulfillment in every activity I undertook, yet my busy days look like just that - busy days. Not this perfect teenager who succeeds at everything she does. (Because I don't!)

I guess my question is: Am I who I thought I would be?

The answer is two-fold: Yes and no. Yes, activities like Key Club and youth group and Bible Study and my babysitting business have brought me out of my terribly shy shell and given me the experience to do more in my future, but no, I'm not perfect. I'm not the ideal teenager with a perfect life. No, I don't have a boyfriend and I struggle with thoughts that I'm not good enough every day.

I've always had this "perfect" mentality. You may see it in the lives of adults who say things like this: "I just need that job or that kind of car or a house in that neighborhood or those kinds of kids... and then I'll be good enough. Then I'll be perfect. Then I will be better than the Joneses." Well, I had this perfect little teenager ideal picked out for me: Car, Boyfriend, Job, president of some clubs, straight As, all the extracurriculars, overly kind, open to everyone... I could go on forever.

And now my question is: Do I want to be who I thought I would be? Do I want that ideal teenage life?

The answer is no. When we pick and choose these "perfect" labels, we forget God's plan. See, God doesn't want us to be "successful" as much as he wants us to serve him. Maybe God wants you in this particular neighborhood instead of the one you have your eyes on, so you can minister to the people here. Maybe God doesn't want you to join 10 groups in high school. Maybe He wants you to invest your life into 1 or 3 where you can make a big difference for Him. Maybe I don't have a boyfriend because he wants to use me as a single lady for his purposes, maybe to encourage someone else who isn't dating.

Riddle me this: Is the dirt-poor missionary in Africa any less successful than the famous wealthy movie star with 3 broken marriages?

Yeah, it's hard to say that I'll give God my everything, because I want my money! I want my time! I want my love life! I want, I want! It's hard to say that I will care about heavenly successes more than earthly successes. It's hard to say that treasures in heaven are more important to me than treasures on earth. It's hard to say that I'm more interested in God telling me "Well done, good and faithful servant" than the scholarship board telling me "Congratulations, here's your $1,000 scholarship".

But what really matters?

"Money is given you by God so that you might use it in such a way that it is plain to everyone that money is not your treasure Christ is!"

- John Piper

People get it living for a job,
Make a little money start living for a car,
Get 'em a wife, a house, kids and a dog,
Then they retire, they living high on the hog,
But guess what? They didn’t ever really live at all,
To live is Christ, and that’s Paul I recall,
To die is gain and for Christ we give it all,
He's the treasure you’ll never find in a mall,
See, your money, your singleness, marriage, talents, your time,
They were loaned you to show the world that Christ is divine

- Don't Waste Your Life By: LeCrae

"Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

- Matthew 6:21