Please Stop Lying to Yourself

When we begin to come to terms with the things we've done and/or the things that have been done to us that grieve God’s heart (i.e., sins), we also begin to wrestle with the natural ramifications of those things. Sin is never simply a mistake. Each time a sin is committed, we lay the groundwork for future pain, either in our lives or the lives of others, and usually in both.

One such pain I would like to analyze is found in the lies we tell ourselves. For example, after engaging in sexual sin, we may later feel dirty, worthless, undesirable, unvaluable, or any of the above. Or, after someone we care about speaks condescendingly or negatively towards us, we may feel insignificant, inadequate, rejected, etc. I’m sure you could think of some prime examples in your own life.

We may also use “If… then…” or “Since… then…” statements on ourselves. Have you ever said this: “Since no one wants to hang out with me, then I must not matter to anyone.” Or, “If I cannot resist this temptation, then I will never be able to have a successful marriage / career / relationship / family.” Or, “If I fail one more time, then it must mean I am a failure.” Or, “Since my dad left, then that means I’m not wanted and no guy will ever want to date me.”

If I am completely honest, I have to tell you that I have said all of those to myself. It has taken lots of time to identify that, first, I’m saying those things to myself, and second, they are not truth. And even when they feel true, I must acknowledge that one fact does not prescribe the other. Yes, my dad left when I was eight, but that in no way means that I’m not attractive or not valuable or not significant or not desirable. Good friends have poured into me the realization that I am valuable. Professors and mentors who care about me and my growth are apt to acknowledge my significance. And even when some situations with guys seem to repeatedly speak negatively to me about attractiveness or desirability, I must hold on to glimpses of truth, such as a cute hair day, a compliment, a kind remark from a guy friend, or a word from God about beauty.

What we know deep inside and what we know from God’s Word are things that we should be letting define ourselves, not those painful experiences that seep into our lives and threaten to take truth away. The truth is that God will never leave us (Deuteronomy 31:6 and 8). The truth is that we are valuable (Matthew 6:26). The truth is that God is listening (Psalm 17:6). The truth is that God has chosen us and is with us and will help us (Isaiah 41:8-10). Do you believe the Bible is the Word of God? Then believe these things. And stop lying to yourself. Don’t believe what Satan is telling you. Find a verse to disprove anything you hear from him.

On another note, I heard a beautiful testimony tonight from a dear friend. I had heard it once before, when we went out for coffee, but tonight she shared with a group at a prayer meeting. She had told me multiple times before that she just wanted God to get the glory and to be praised through the story of her issues and struggles and redemption. So, tonight, as she talked, I smiled at her jokes and cried at her pain, but I was praying. Praying that God would receive the glory. To my surprise, after the meeting, some girls called for the musicians in the group to go get their guitars so we could all worship in song together. Her story inspired intimate worship and praise to and for God – what an amazing testament to glorifying God.

Someone once told me, “We should not think less of ourselves. Instead, we should think of ourselves less.” Awesome advice. So today, I'm telling you not to lie to yourself or belittle yourself. I’m telling you to spend more time with God. I’m telling you to believe what He says. I’m telling you to glorify Him no matter what. God will do great things. Sometimes you have to step back and watch.

First Semester of College... Check!

Well, my first semester of college is officially over. Exams are out of the way, papers have been turned in, and I slept in my own bed last night. Nice. Well, that's another thing I can cross off my life list. I'm glad I don't have to go back and do it all over again. Or am I?

Because, see, there's so much about this first semester that I would change. I mean, it was awesome. It was probably the best I'm going to get. But it wasn't smooth-sailing. It was hard. It was difficult. There were complicated issues, socially and relationally, as well as academically and organizationally. I'm not saying it was a failure, just that it wasn't easy. But I suppose that's normal, right? :)

If I could do it over again, I would change move-in day. I would be less stressed, more calm, more at peace. I would change the way I met my roommate, I would be more excited about our rooming situation. I would have spent more time with the people who would become my friends that first week of orientation, before all the exams and papers and obligations set in.

I would reconsider the way I handled some situations and some relationships. I would laugh before things went too crazy. I would have stopped before I did anything stupid.

If I could do it all over again, I would have enjoyed my time. I would have spent just a few more minutes praying for her, just a few more minutes talking with him, just a few more minutes figuring it out, meeting their needs, communicating what was important. I would have spent another second in a hug or another moment with a smile. I would never have complained about my job or my appearance or my car or the weather. I would just enjoy the time there.

I would have rested a little more so I didn't get sick the last weekend. I would have said a few more compliments, asked another person how I could pray for them. I would have worked on my chapter summaries and history assignments earlier. I would have spent less time on Facebook and more time communicating face-to-face. I would have tried for excellence in my classes instead of doing just what was required. I would have stopped trying so hard.

...if I could do it all over again.

But you know what? The past is the past. And I have seven more semesters left. That's roughly 105 weeks left. Or 525 dinners . Or roughly 40 more courses. Or more than 1,000 hours of work.

And I'm going to make each one of those count.

Keeping On

I truly love where I am and what I'm doing. I love this college. I love my job. I love my family, and I miss them when I'm not home. I love these people here and I miss them when I'm not at college. I love them even when they drive me crazy! I love my professors and my classes and the extracurricular activities here. I love what I'm learning, even when it makes me crazy.

And I don't want to be bitter.

But while everything seems to be moving a little faster than I'd like (it's already December!), everything seems to be going a little slower than I thought, too.

I look back at how far I've come, and I'm proud. I'm proud of the work it took to get here. I'm proud of a God who works in my life, who is active and present and profound. I'm thankful that he loves me, that he delights in me. I'm thankful for the strength he gave and continues to give me, the hope he pours out, the safety and freedom I find in his arms.

I don't deserve any of that. I don't deserve his little blessings, the reminders of his grace and compassion. I don't deserve the wonderful things he's placed in my life for a purpose.

But sometimes... People can make me insane.

Those who make mountains out of molehills, by becoming upset over circumstances they shouldn't be concerned about and can't change

Those who become very open with their public displays of affection with each other, disregarding the opinions of others

Those who find it necessary to jump from relationship to relationship

Those who are succeeding at life and want me to be happy for them when I feel bad about myself

Those who look for reasons to be jealous or angry or emotional

Those who criticize others, who do not apply themselves to their work, those who claim to follow God, then become apathetic about his truth and love and purposely fail to demonstrate excellence when it counts

Etc.

Where is the line in a relationship in which I can go to a friend and confront him or her about a problem in his or her life where I don't sound jealous or hypocritical? Because I find myself doing plenty of those things as well.

I'd urge you to read Galatians 6:1, 2 Corinthians 2:7-8, Proverbs 9:9, and James 5:16, but here I have a quote from a blog I stumbled upon called Daily Discernment. The author writes: "First make sure your friend has actually 'sinned' and not just done something that you didn’t like. What scripture have they violated?"

In the majority of those circumstances above, my friends have not actually committed a sin, and there is a large part of me that has decided that unless I am close enough with them to bring the issue up without raising alarm, I should let it be. Which is hard, but is probably the best option.

In addition, part of being an adult is not being easily swayed by the opinions and emotions of others. It's becoming your own person and standing on your own two feet. Have I missed that? Have I forgotten the importance of becoming my own person in life? Of standing up for what I think, and not swaying back and forth like chaff in the wind? It's not God-honoring to be so concerned about everyone else that I fail to find my identity in him.

So why I am bitter? I feel like I can't live this life and enjoy my friends and their companionship because I'm concerned about the mistakes they're making. Is that the way friends are supposed to act? I mean, we're all broken ad sinful and we all make mistakes. But what would it look like to be devoted to my friends? To care so much about them that I love them though their sins? That I love them despite their fall-outs and hang-ups? That I have genuine compassion for them and their souls?

Any thoughts?

‎Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

- Romans 12:15-16

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

- 1 Peter 3:8-9

Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

- Luke 6:30-31

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

- Galatians 6:2

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

- Galatians 2:20

What More Do I Want?

Sometimes I get so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I get so exhausted with striving and striving. Living the Christian life is exhausting and often burnout comes quickly, even if we have pure motives and are maintaining a consistent devotional time.

It's at the point of giving up with exhaustion when we ask God for a sign. We ask him to show or give us something that will keep us going. We beg him to make things happen in our lives, to fix our situations, to give us additional reassurance.

And then we sit down with our eyes closed and our ears plugged and we ignore God's thunderstorm outside.

Listen, God is working whether we see it or not! When we attribute a certain circumstance to chance or coincidence, God is working. When something just goes completely perfect, God is working. Things just don't happen. God is working them out. Also, God knows what we need. Even before we ourselves know it. He's just that awesome.

Some practical examples:

I was upset over a rift in a relationship, and God caused the other person to say something at just the right time to smooth things over.

I was worried about who I was going to room with next year, and a friend asked me if I would be willing to room with her - which was a total God thing.

I was focused so much on myself and what I do and what I need and a friend blessed me with words of encouragement, thanking me for something God had used me to do for other people.
I was beyond stressed over a paper that was due on Tuesday when I got an e-mail saying the due date had been extended to Thursday - so a couple more days to finish this long paper! Before I got the e-mail, my great-uncle reminded me he was praying for me and all the work I had due, and it really encouraged me to keep going.

There are a multitude of further examples. The point is that God is truly working. He is not silent; he is not absent. So while it's normal to want a sign from God, we don't need one. Every sunrise, every breath, every baby born, every moment is a sign that God is active in our world today, a sign that he really does care. We don't see God in actuality. And we typically don't audibly hear his voice. But he is here, active and present.

1 Peter 1:8 says, "Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy."

Where's Your Heart?

It's days when I feel like everything is going perfectly when God reminds me how I can do nothing. It's those days when everything is seemingly going how I planned and I'm starting to feel prideful that I accomplished everything today, when I'm left with a weird feeling. It doesn't feel like "emptiness" per say, but it definitely feels like I'm missing something. It feels like a consistent, unquenchable yearning for something more. But what?

Tell me: Where is your heart? What is it running after? What is your heart crying out? What is the song it is singing? In other words, what matters? What is it in your day-to-day that takes up your time, your thoughts, and your feelings? What makes you tick? What is your heart yearning for? What is your soul on fire for?

Hillsong sings, "My heart will sing no other name... Jesus, Jesus". And I'm reminded, on these days when I seem to have it all together, that the "cry of my heart [should be] to bring [Him] praise". The most important thing is not my success. When I get ready for bed, I should not be asking myself: "Did I have a good today? What did I accomplish today? How did I benefit today?" But rather, "God, are you glorified through me and how can I glorify You more? How did You use me to bless others today? And how can I love others with Your love tomorrow?"

I should rejoice in God's majesty and blessings! When good things happen, my immediate response should be to thank God and to praise him.

So, back to the first paragraph... Yep, I'm missing something. I'm missing God being the center of my life. Yes, I'm a Christian. But we can be Christians without living sold out for God. We can be Christians without being fully on fire and completely in love with God. And that's sad. So I'm urging you tonight to remember why you're here. Why you are pressing on in this complicated thing called life. Why you're even a Christian!

Remember back to the moment (or moments) you realized you were a desperate sinner and needed God above anything else. Remember how poor, lost, broken, and hopeless you were and felt. Go ahead. It's okay to feel it. But not for too long. Because you are no longer like that! Rejoice in the fact that God sent his son to pay the highest ransom (death!) for you. And he would have died for you even if you were the only person in the world. What a wonderful realization that is. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 lists a multitude of sins that, if practiced, do not lead to heaven. But verse eleven says, "Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." So rejoice. You've been set free! This is a call to remember what Christ did for us and to look forward to what he will do in providing heaven. This mindset keeps us focused on what really matters every day.

Live like Christ died yesterday, rose this morning, and is coming back tomorrow.

Living Life Like I Control It All = Ridiculous

God, I hate that I hate.

And I'm disappointed that I feel disappointed.

I feel upset and uneasy over the fact that I'm upset. And uneasy.

I regret that I have regrets. I wish I didn't wish for so much. It would be nice if I was nicer.

It it were up to me, everything would be peachy keen and soft and sweet. But what I once longed for is never coming to fruition.

But what is God doing? Here I go again, living life like I control it all!

Hey, you. Yeah, you. God has a plan for your life. God has a purpose. God is working all things out for your good, because you love him and have been called according to his purpose. You are not struggling through this world on your own. So hope for the best and keep on keeping on. Don't get so bogged down in the little things of life.

Imagine the unimaginable! Try to fathom the unbelievable. That's what God wants to do in your life, your school, your workplace, your city, your state, your country, and in this world.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

(Ephesians 3:20-21, MSG)

What If There's More To Life

What if life isn't really about me? What if all this time I've wasted on my earthly concerns could have been better spent rejoicing in God and thinking about his concerns?

How would God view the people in my life? How would God view the circumstances I'm facing today? This week? This week? This year? How would God treat those he loved? And those he didn't particularly like? How would God feel about those around him? How would God deal with interruptions? Confusions? Annoying people? Rude people?

What if there is more to life than jumping from one experience, one relationship, one gift, one party, or one weekend to the next? What if each moment in my life is important? What if God has a purpose and a plan for me, not only for the significant, emotional, and trying times, but also for the seemingly boring moments?

What if my chief goal is to glorify God and be satisfied in Him?

How would I go about life differently?

Temple Tuesday

Yesterday was the midpoint in the semester, which means I am halfway through my first semester of college. Where on God's green earth did the time go? Seems like, last week, I was a tenth grader sitting at a round table in Williams Chapel filling out an application for college. And, here I am, a freshman in college. Wow.

Just wanted to remind you that God has plans for you! He is taking you somewhere, not only for your good, but for a grand purpose for this world and his creation.

Don't get so focused on the little things in life that you neglect the two most important things...

Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

(Matthew 22:37-38)

Life is a Learning Process

Sometimes we grow stagnant in our lives and in our walks with Christ, and I wanted to take this chance to share some things that I am learning in my own life. Moving from high school, a single-parent home, a comfortable, safe place, to a two-parent home, a new house and city, and now to college, where I am making my own decisions and living my own life, God has been working. It's hurts, believe me, but it is worth it. God is burning away those things that are not of him, and prompting me to desire him more. Here are some of those lessons:

1. This is happening for a reason. And while I may be surprised by life's circumstances, God knows, and has planned, and is working out everything that happens for good. (Romans 8:28)
2. God is good. And he desires and plans and wants good in my life. His good is so much more extravagant and unbelievable than the "good" I think I want, or the "good" I see around me. If things don't work out the way I want them to, it means God has something better up his sleeve. (Matthew 7:11)
3. Not only is God allowing difficult situations in my life, but he is always with me, and walking through these situations with me. He's not leaving me to figure this out on my own. (Joshua 1:9)
4. My purpose is to be satisfied in God and to glorify God. And God may use certain situations or events to draw me closer to realizing my purpose and helping me achieve it.
5. Instead of worrying about me and my problems, I've got to spend more time with others, focused on their needs and showing Christ to them. I should be investing in the lives of those around me.
6. It all works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end. :)

It Already Belongs to Him

What if, instead of giving my life and problems and circumstances up to God, I was actually relinquishing my futile grasp on what already belongs to him?

1 Corinthians says, "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

And not only with your body, but also with your life. Not with only your words and actions, but also with your relationship choices. Not only with the clothes you wear, but also with the attitudes you have about you. Honor God with both what people can see and with what people cannot see.

What if, instead of including God as a part of life, God was my life? And anything that didn't line with him was sacked, cast off, cut out, done away with? What if, instead of pretending I could have both selfishness and 'Savior-ness' in my life, I ran after God with everything I was and found myself in his arms - with no looking back?

What would it look like if my relationships radiated Christ with every word and motion? Would other people notice if I gave up what I wanted for what God wanted? Would the result of a life sold out to God have more impact on this world than a life lost in the patterns of this world?

What if I stopped, right now, in the middle of this path I'm pursuing a little too fast, and let go? Because it already belongs to him.

Well, I think I've answered my own question. God, give me peace.

Temple Tuesday

Need some encouragement for the journey? When it seems like it's too difficult to live a pure life, keep this verse in mind.

This is from Romans chapter 16, verse 19 in the New Living Translation.

But everyone knows that you are obedient to the Lord. This makes me very happy. I want you to be wise in doing right and to stay innocent of any wrong.

Set Your Mind

Ever gone through your daily life, all the eating, breathing, talking, playing, preparing, interacting, doing, and sleeping of it - without a distinct focus in life? Trying to survive instead of actually living? Kindof "floating" through life instead of enjoy it? Or maybe always waiting for the next event, the next conversation, the next 'high'?

I know, right? Like, every day?

During the school year, especially, or whenever I'm particularly busy - I tend to zone out from my goal. I forget the constant impact that I have on other people. I forget my goal in life. I become like a zombie - just skating through life instead of living it.

Hey, people, this isn't the purpose in life!! Go live life! Go enjoy it!

And, remember, life is not pointless. Colossians 3:1-2 says, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

Focus on God. Live with him in mind.