One Hundred Billion Trillion

I love learning about science. Granted, typically I'm a very "artsy" kind of person. I'd rather take a picture of a flower than learn about the pollination of the flower. I'd rather write a poem about the moon than study the craters on its surface.

However, in Scientific Literacy yesterday, my professor was teaching about the cosmos. Mid-way through his lecture, he thought of something and ran out of the room to get his his Bible from his office. When he returned, he read from Isaiah chapter 40, verse 26:

Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.

Then, referring to some calculations on the whiteboard, he indicated that modern scientists roughly estimate that there are about one hundred billion trillion stars in the known universe.

Okay, catch that: God knows and calls the name of each star in the universe, and there are more than a hundred billion trillion of them! God calls each star out one by one to light the night sky and fill the darkness of nighttime. No star is missed. Psalm 147:4 says, "[God] counts the stars and calls them all by name."

The only thing that was running through my head as my professor was saying this was a line from Matthew West's song, More: "I love you more than the sun and the stars that I taught how to shine...". And if God, this vast, omnipotent, omnipresent God, loves me more than the stars he hand-placed in the sky, I truly am loved!

The Bible is not silent about science, as some might assume. In fact, since science is basically the study of God's creation, the Bible is filled with discussion about it. Job 9:9 says, "[God] made all the stars—the Bear and Orion,the Pleiades and the constellations of the southern sky." The awesome thing about creation is that it shows God's presence and majesty (Romans 1:20), because creation has to have a creator. While we can't physically see God, we can see his creation, which gives us a glimpse of how amazing God really is.

Go outside and watch the sunset, watch God bring the stars out one by one, watch the moon light up the night. And praise him. For every great star that appears in the night sky, we catch a reminder of God's love for us.

God is more glorious than the moon; he shines brighter than the stars.

Job 25:5

The Lord merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born.

Psalm 33:6

When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—

the moon and the stars you set in place—

what are mere mortals that you should think about them,

human beings that you should care for them?

Psalm 8:3-4

Your Love

God, thank you for wooing me. Like a patient lover enamored by my beauty, You adore me. You pursue me.

God, I am chief of sinners. I am desperately entangled in sin, surrounded by my enemies, encompassed by the lies of this world, the lies of my sinful desires. I am wrong, so bitterly wrong. I feel distant from you. Surrounded by the dark clouds of my mistakes, and You seem so far away, so dim through the haze.

But You reach out Your hand. Into the darkness of my sin, my pain, my apathy, You reach Your great hand to rescue me. You pull me from the mud and mire and give me a firm, steady, secure, safe place to stand.

I don't want to take Your hand. Everything in me yearns for it, but I'm bitter. I'm depressed, feeling dejected, feeling hurt, feeling ugly and worthless. I feel like I messed up everything.

But You show me the path to redemption. Lighted only by Your voice and marked out only by Your eyes. You show me Your heart.

Still, I'm afraid. It's a scary thing to grasp Your hand and let You pull me up.

You woo me. You speak through the loosened tongues of those who know me. I hear Your voice from the lips of those who have become available for your work. Through these people, willing to be used by You without knowing the outcome, you tell me:

You will always be in love with me

Suffering is inevitable and necessary to be like Christ, but You will never leave me

I am Your masterpiece

You Love me just the way I am

You stretch out Your hand, but because of my shame, I am wary of reaching for it. I know when You begin to rescue me, all my misdeeds, all my sins against Your Holy name will be revealed in the light of Your glory. And I'm ashamed.

But Your Love is greater than any sin of mine. I try to cower, but You simply smile and nod behind You. And there, standing behind you, is a man, yet somehow more than a man. His hands are pierced and bloody, his side is punctured. A crown of thorns is pressed into his head. He is dirty, ragged, and exhausted. But at the same time, He shines with radiance. You smile and tell me he shines because he defeated sin and death. My sin and death. I'm confused.

Knowingly, You remind me of Christ's death and resurrection. But seeing my sin upon his shoulders, tormenting him and weighing him down on that cross, it becomes real. That man, that person of Your trinity, took my sin, my mistakes, my misdeeds, my doubt, my frustrations, my self-righteousness, my impurity, my greed, my selfishness, my apathy, my hate, all my sin, upon himself and was brutally, horrifically, tortured and murdered. For me. Everything I should have faced, everything I should have felt, all the punishment I should have endured because of my sin against my neighbor, against my friend, against my enemy, against You, he suffered. He took the blame, the punishment.

Suddenly, my hazy pit looks like a pity-party for myself. This man, this son of Yours, this only son, died a horrible death for me, for punishment for my sin. He was depressed, dejected, and hurt. For me. Somehow I can never get that through my head. Maybe it's so hard to get my mind around it, so hard to get my mind around Your Love.

Your Love. So I grasp Your hand, the hand You so willingly offer, and You pull me out of my mud and mire. And You give me a rock to stand on. In Your light, I see my nakedness, my shame, my sin, myself for who I really am.

But that's not the way You see me. Because in Your eyes, I am really clothed, unashamed, and perfect. Perfect because I am Yours.There is now no condemnation for those who belong to Your son, You tell me. I am beautiful and matchless to You.

You have a beautiful plan for my life, You tell me. You have a God-sized plan for everyone as a whole, to bring about world-sized restoration. You're bringing Your people back to You again. And You want me to be a part of this. You want me, having been drawn to You, to be Your witness wherever I go, wherever You send me, to the people I meet. And when they see me, they will see You.

You tenderly invite me to an existence of joy. A life not contained by this world, but one which expands beyond the limits of time to live in You. You compassionately invite me to join You, to seek Your face, to know You, to live within You, and thus, to meet other people where they are and be a vessel You can use for Your purposes. Your whole purpose is in restoring Your people to You and You are passionate about this goal. And I willingly accept Your invitation to go out into the world, to my neighbor beside me and my neighbor across the world from me, and be Your witness and reach the ones You love who are lost without You.

You are in love with me. And You adore me.

I constantly spit in Your face, ridicule You, and reject You for something I think might possibly be more important than You, and when I realize what I have done, I am ashamed and my remorse fills me deeply. But You are so in love with me, You just want to be with me. You just want to see my face, hear my voice say Your name. I do not deserve You. I do not deserve Your attention. I messed up! When You Love me, I bring back to memory all the times I rejected You, all the times I cursed You and pretended I didn't know You, all the moments I ignored You...

And You stand there with a smile on Your face, telling me You have no idea what I'm talking about, telling me You Love me. You Love me. Your Love is amazing. And having experienced it, I am falling on my knees. Worship. Surrender. Love.

This was not the story of my conversion to Christ, although it certainty could have been. I turn my back on God on a daily and momentarily basis more times than I'd care to admit, and, as such, this is just the story of a simple day. A little over twenty-four hours of God's wooing. He is incredible. And just as he loves me, he loves you. With the same kind of love and the same deep intensity. His love knows no bounds. And it's here waiting to envelope you.

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

"Your Love" - Brandon Heath

Missing the Point

To open his book "Crazy Love", Francis Chan asks, "Have you ever wondered if we're missing it?"

I think, especially at Christian schools or colleges, we focus so much on the nonessentials that we are missing the point. In the long run, all of this study of eschatology and typology and deeper Biblical meanings and methods of evangelism and baptism and worship and whatnot are good, but aren't truly essential.

Barlowgirl sings, "At the end of it all, I want to be in Your arms." When it really comes down to the end, where are we? Are we debating if the last chapter of Mark was original or are we sitting on God's lap and breathing him in? When your last day comes, will you tell Jesus how you aced your Hermeneutics exam? Or will you tell him about the people he used you to love? When you go to sleep at night, are you satisfied that you truly convinced the atheist about God's existence or satisfied that Jesus loves you, unconditionally, and has blessed you with the desire to show others his love?

Don't get me wrong, it's a blessing to be here at a Christian college and get the chance to learn my faith and prove it. But have I been missing the most important part?

Recently, I've been getting a weird feeling in worship and prayer and I asked God, "What are you doing? What's going on in my life?" And this morning God said, "Alex, stop trying so hard. Just sit here in me. Breathe me in. Relax and let me do something beautiful."

That's what I'm getting at. Yes, we should study the Bible and Christianity. Yes, we should love and serve and support others. But we should do so out of an intimate relationship and deep love with God.

Your Testimony

Look at your testimony, your story of faith. Describe it. Look at where you've been and how far you've come. What has God taught you?

Too often we have this mindset that the only good testimonies are the ones where we can see some spectacular sign of God's immediate and powerful work. We live like the only good testimonies are the stories of desperate, wicked sinners being radically and emotionally changed into God-fearing, loving saints.

...Wait a minute! Aren't we all desperate wicked sinners who need God? And aren't all Christians radically changed by God? And aren't all of us called to radical obedience and crazily giving everything back to God and letting him love others through us?

Well, yeah, actually. But we tend to play the comparison game, even when it comes to our testimonies. We say, "Oh, well, I accepted Christ when I was 6 and I've always lived in a Christian home and I never did drugs or slept around, so my life and testimony is boring" and we hear someone who lived an immoral life and who didn't listen to God until they were adults and have overcome such supposedly vast sins... And we think that their testimony is so much more important and special and influential than ours.

But the truth is that we are all sinners saved by grace through faith. My story is no more important or amazing than yours, because it's my story. It's what God said to me and did in me. Likewise with your story.

I see this in the two stories of changed lives we find in Acts 9:1-22 and in Luke 5:1-11. In Acts chapter 9, Saul is going to Damascus when God does something incredible. If you know the story, you know that a bright light shines down, Saul is blinded, and Jesus asks, "Saul, why are you persecuting me? ... I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do." (v.4-6). It's a pretty amazing story. But God works in many different ways, and we see a slightly different faith story in Luke chapter 5. Jesus climbs into Simon Peter's boat and asks him to take the boat out a bit into the water so Jesus can preach from the boat. It is a seemingly ordinary move - a guy stepping into another guy's boat. Jesus called Peter, a simple, uneducated man who worked as a fisherman to follow him. And Peter didn't leave behind a life of massive, growth sin (in human standards), he left behind his own life. And he took up his cross and followed after Jesus. It changed his life.

So whether or not your testimony sounds "cool" or seems to compare with others' testimonies, it really doesn't matter. Because God has and is and will continue to work in your life. And God will use your struggles and your testimony for his glory. Because that's the purpose, that's the end result: That we are conformed to the image of Christ for the sake of others.

How Vast is God's Love!

Francis Chan writes, "The irony is that while God doesn't need us, but still wants us, we desperately need God, but don't really want him most of the time."

Have you ever thought about God's love? I mean, we've experienced some human love. We have experienced love from our parents, other adult role models, best friends, some of us have experienced romantic love from a significant other or the joyous love of a child. But what about God's love? A term I like to use for God's love is vast, which means immense or huge. But the term also has two distinct connotations: "very great in number, quantity, amount" and "very great in degree, intensity" (dictionary.com). Think about God's love in those terms - not only a lot of love, but also a high intensity of love. Not only the fact that God always loves us, but that fact that he loves us to the nth degree. Unconditionally.

I just wanted to share some quotes from a group of students from my college who meet once a week. This semester, we're talking about "Crazy Love" by: Francis Chan.

"The love of God is the most exciting thing. Being fully consumed with God means that there is no stopping what God can do."

"People will tell you to conserve your energy and to not give all to God and to others. But love is an all-giving thing."

"It's really hard to love people who think they know God's love."

How Deep the Father's Love For Us

By: Stuart Townend

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

God

Too often we make God too small. Or too distant. Or too absent. Or too dependent on the way we act.

But we can't "make" God anything. God exists outside of time and space. He doesn't need to be "made" by human hands.

However, there's something important to realize. No matter how great and awesome and powerful our God is, he loves us. For real, like completely. He loves us with the kind of love that would send his only son to die for us. And Jesus loves us with the kind of love that would willingly be tortured, brutally injured, and bloody and scarred and bruised and... It's not a pretty picture. It's awful. We wouldn't even be able to look at him. And he did this. He died for us. For you. For me.

Remember the most beautiful sights you have ever seen. The smile of a child. A sunset or sunrise. Natural landscaping. The ocean. Roll them all into one, and multiply that by 100 for all the beautiful sights of the world you haven't seen. Got that beautiful picture in your mind? Imagine if God created all of that just for you.

Romans 1:20 says, "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

And God would do it all the same way, wouldn't spare a single detail of beauty, if you were the only person alive.

So why do we live like God doesn't matter?

Why do we go through life ignoring God?

Why do we choose what we want over what he wants?

Yeah, we're sinful. But think about that for a minute. Think about God pursuing you with the beauty of his creation. Think about how he loves us. And give God the glory he deserves.

Satisfied in God

What does it mean to be fully satisfied in God?

I've shared some quotes and verses here that I've been reading and praying over, specifically with regard to this idea of being satisfied in God.

"The essence of faith is being satisfied with all that God is for us in Jesus" - John Piper

"God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him" - John Piper

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

- Philippians 4:12

"To just read the Bible, attend church, and avoid 'big' sins - is this passionate, wholehearted love for God?" - Francois Fenelon

"It confuses us when loving God is hard. Shouldn't it be easy to love a God so wonderful? When we love God because we feel we should love Him, instead of genuinely loving out of our true selves, we have forgotten who God really is.... This dissatisfaction [of American advertising] transfers over to our thinking about God. We forget that we already have everything we need in Him. Because we don't often think about the reality of who God is, we quickly forget that He is worthy to be worshipped and loved. We are to fear Him."

- Francis Chan

"If anyone is thirsty, let Him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John 7:37-38

So, I ask my question again: What does it mean to be fully satisfied in God? Should I ever desire something beyond God? Will God supply my every need? And what is characterized as a "need"? What if what I desire isn't in God's plan for me - am I just supposed to ignore my desire?

Riddle me this: What does it mean to be fully satisfied in God?