Singleness of Heart

I've been thinking a lot about relationships recently. About how messy they are, how our relationship with God affects other relationships and how other relationships affect our relationship with God, how people shape our lives, for better or for worse. I love seeing the parallels between my relationship with God and the relationship involved in marriage. It's absolutely beautiful.

Along the same lines, remember back two months ago when I first shared about a calling God had given me? (If not, you can read about it here.) Recently, God shook that up a little bit. He whispered to me that maybe it wasn't so much about singleness of relationship status as it was about singleness of heart.

When the people return to their homeland, they will remove every trace of their vile images and detestable idols. And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart, so they will obey my decrees and regulations. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God.

(Ezekiel 11:18-20)

This passage from Ezekiel is describing the Jewish people returning to Jerusalem after the exile. God tells Ezekiel that the people will give up their idolatry. God says that he will bring his people back to focusing on him spiritually and legally. Therefore, singleness of heart means to get rid of anything that even so much as threatens God's place in your life. Anything that breaks that first commandment is out. 

Interestingly, the passage also talks about having a tender and responsive heart. Ladies who are struggling with their emotions tend to think that if only they could just be strong and not weak, they wouldn't succumb to their emotions. Legalistic people often think they are never firm enough and that's why they can't keep their obligations. The fact is that being gentle, tender, open, whatever word you want to use, is good. It's good to be willing to let God use you, to be available to his calling, to let yourself melt when he pursues you. It's good to allow yourself to be responsive to God. 

Friends, are we walking with the Lord so closely that we are devoted to him like a bride is devoted to her soon-to-husband? Are we so patiently listening for his will and so captivated by his words that we will let ourselves be pursued?

God loves you. A ton. He died for you! And the point I'm making is that because he is so awesome and so great, we are called to praise him. One beautiful way to praise him is to allow only Him in our hearts at one time.

It's called singleness of heart. It means that while I don't know what God is doing in my love life and I probably won't want to know, I'm still seeking with everything, and maybe a little more than everything. Do I do it perfect? Nope. Anything but. But I know that God is faithful and that he loves us. No matter what.

Friends, Foes, and Confidants

When I first came to college, I legitimately asked God to make me an extrovert. Most of the girls I met were out being crazy (e.g. Taco Bell runs and hikes to Little Falls) at random hours every evening during Orientation week. I was organizing my room. For the third time. And because introverts are, by definition, usually by themselves, it was just a little bit difficult to make friends.

But I did, praise the Lord, partly because I prayed earnestly for friendships all throughout my senior year of high school, especially second semester. To realize halfway through my freshman year of college that I had developed some amazing friendships literally rocked my world. One day, I posted this line on my tumblr blog: “I’m so in love with these people.”

All fine and dandy, right? Wrong.

Now, please do not misunderstand me. Friends are a blessing, especially for introverts. It is imperative that we understand that God made us for relationships. Ultimately, he made us for a relationship with him (to glorify and enjoy him - Westminster catechism, anyone?) Also, because it was not good for us to be alone, and because one way we can learn about our relationship with God is by having relationships with others, God gave us each other.

The problem comes when we put what God has given us over God Himself. Suddenly, everything is out of order, and that makes for a lopsided life.

I recently began to reevaluate my friendships, because I felt like I was putting friends above God. I also felt like very few of my friends were “doing” friendship the same way I was, and that made me feel even more alone. However, to my friends, it looked like I was literally pushing them away.

How can an introvert evaluate her friendships without looking like she is pushing her friends away?

I don’t know. But I do know that God made us to love each other, even though it’s so messy.

What I’m learning is that philos (friendship love) is going to be messy and yucky sometimes. But we do it anyway, because God said so. And because the rewards of loving one another is beautiful.

The disciple John wrote about love in two of his books. In John 13:35, he says, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” This is pretty legit. We are called to love each other. I believe that love is the first step towards anything spiritual happening. For example, we must love the unreached and meet their physical needs before we can share Jesus with them. We must love before fear will leave (1 John 4:18). If we hate our Christian brothers and sisters, there’s no way we can love God (1 John 4:20-21).

This is a tough pill to swallow for an introvert, but I would like to let you in on a little secret: Love does not mean you have 47 intimate friends. Love does not mean you can’t also have time alone. Love does not mean you are constantly surrounded by people. Love means you truly care about others (Philippians 2:4). It means you give up yourself for them (John 15:13). It means you notice your friends' love languages and you look for ways to meet them. It means even if you don’t have a coffee date every night of every week, you still make time for people.

And sometimes, it’s okay to be a little extroverted. I’ve started to place an addendum on my introversion status. I say: “Yeah, I’m an introvert... who loves people.”

Lesson from this week: Don’t place anything above God (Exodus 20:3), but don’t stop loving (Luke 10:27).
I wrote earlier about a sacrifice God had called me to make. Recently, I was speaking with someone about it, and they asked me some questions that began to plant doubt in my confidence. I was a little upset, because I was sure that God had called me.

In less than a 30 hour period this week, God gave me two verses about sacrifices. The basic gist from each verse is that God wants my heart more than he wants my sacrifice. I learned that is the reason for my sacrifice: that I would become closer to God. That I would love him and that I would love others. Sometimes God calls us to give up something that is standing in the way of our obedience to the greatest commandments, and that’s why I’m sacrificing.

“To love [God] with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” - Mark 12:33

Temple Tuesday

There's so much I could write about tonight. So many God-things have been happening to me, to others around me, and within my campus and this community and this world that I could write about, but I really just want to focus on one thing.

While waiting for (or actively pursuing) God's specific plan for you, do not neglect his general command to love.

I believe that God has given us general commands and specific commands, both of which we must obey. For example, God said: Go and make disciples of all nations, Honor your father and mother, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength... Those are his general commands and they apply to every Christian on the face of this earth.

But God has also given us and/or will give us specific commands. Some are as seemingly small as "Go tell this person something from me" or "Start a Bible Study". Then are things that specifically reflect God's overarching plan for us. These are typically bigger (though not necessarily more important), like when God gives us the reassurances to go to a certain college or instructs us to move to another area or to take a certain job or volunteer for a certain ministry. And these specific commands also include our vocation. Basically: What are you going to do with the rest of your life?

Many times we get caught up in the "big picture" items, that we neglect the seemingly "smaller" things. For example, God's given me a desire for teaching, because through that I can explore the English language and literature and minister to teenagers, which are two important things to me. But God hasn't really given me anything too far beyond that.

Okay, but I can deal with that. I'm satisfied with where God's placed me and I know that I have 7 semesters before I step out into the workforce. But I want to do something amazing for God right here and now. I mean, I'm at this college, with these friends, in these classes, in this dorm, on this hall, with this roommate and these suitemates, and involved in these extracurricular events for a purpose and a reason. And God has me here because it's where he wants me. But at the same time, I feel this insatiable need to go do something for God. And I'm almost afraid of just jumping out and doing something for the fear that it will end in a mess. So I've been sitting here, saying "God, show me what you want me to do. I will follow you wherever you lead me." And God hasn't shown me anything specific yet.

Yet, in this moment, it hit me: I can't put everything else on hold while I wait for God's specific command. Because God wants me to obey his general commands at all times, especially while I'm waiting for his specific commands. One general command I think we forget is to love others as we love ourselves.

Ever met someone who was on such a mission that nothing could stop them? They charge through the hallways, looking for that one professor or trying to make it to chapel on time that they ignore everything else?

With regard to God vs the world, we should be like that. Acknowledge that you can leave everything in this world behind all for God, and that you'd be okay with that. But when it comes to people, love them! Love, love, love. Invest time into them. Listen to them. Pour your life into them. Don't get so focused on the "ministry" aspect that you neglect the people you're helping. Don't get so focused on the end result that you neglect the means. Love others with a heart that longs to see them restored in Christ.

See, no matter what your specific command or your calling is, God has called you to love him and to love others. No matter if God has called you to be a truck-driver, a soccer coach, a mom, a college professor, a counselor, a doctor, or housekeeper... He has called you first to love.