I'm so excited about what God is doing in my life that I don't have time to worry about it. It's so amazing that God can use my disappointments to strengthen and prepare me, encourage others, and glorify Him. :)
I had been praying for God to provide guidance and direction and peace in a certain aspect of my life, but it wasn't until I made the conscious effort to give this thing to God that I really saw him working and heard him speak. And when I gave him full control of this issue, he did something wonderful - He took it away from me. I know what you're thinking: What?! How could God take that away from her? For a while, I was really disappointed. This was something I wanted, and had wanted for a while, and God removed it from my life. But I had given it to God. I realized that I couldn't just take it back from God now. It belonged to him. It had already belonged to him, I was just giving him control. I was relinquishing my futile grasp on what already belonged to him. I was saying that I would no longer try to manipulate circumstances or people that I honestly couldn't control.
God taking this from me was probably the best thing he could have done, obviously. I mean, I had prayed for God to show me that I could trust his plan and purpose and for an understanding of his guidance and future and desire to give me what is best for me. I've realized that when God wants to teach me something, he doesn't just show me, he puts me in a circumstance where I will have to learn it. So, to teach me that he always does what is best for me, he took this thing I thought I needed out of my grasp. To teach me that he is reliable and dependable and trustworthy, he placed me in a situation where the people I thought I could depend on let me down, and the people I didn't really want to trust were the ones who stuck by me throughout the situation. See, God knows me better than I know myself, and he knows what I need and what I want, what I long for and what he desires for me. And God allows trials and difficult circumstances in my life to strengthen, prepare, encourage, and grow me. He has a reason for allowing the hurt that comes from both my mistakes and outside influences.
So, yeah, it hurts that at the end of the day, this issue doesn't pop up. It hurts that things have changed. But, at the same time, it's a blessing that I no longer have to control this. It's a blessing that God is in control of my life. It's a blessing that I don't have to worry about what's going on anymore. Because Christ died for me - and all I can do is give myself to him as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:2). God can do infinitely more than we might ask or imagine if we are willing to give him our first and our full (Ephesians 3:20).
I realized that I would make a mess of my life if I held on to it. I realized that I would ruin everything if I jumped ahead before God called me. But waiting for God to lead me only means that he has something SO much better for me and that if I wait on him, he will bring it into my life at the perfect time.
Why not trust God with your life and your joys and your disappointments? He knows what's going to happen! He has a great and wonderful plan, and when you trust him, he can do wonderful things in you and through you for others.
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