Sometimes I Feel Like a Mess

But, you know what? It's okay! Because when I'm broken and desperate and needy, that is when I realize my need for God. That is when I realize how I'm going nowhere without him. In the New Living Translation, Matthew 5:3 reads, "God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs." It's okay to struggle and it's good to realize that we don't and won't have it all together, because through that we come to understand how great and powerful and forgiving and holy and accepting of us God really is. So, run to him and climb up in his lap and love him and receive his love for you! Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

Along those same lines, I often find myself going through life searching for the next "thing", the next "high", if you will. For many people, life is just a series of events strung one after the other. It follows that "living for the weekend" mindset that you may have noticed in high school or college: life consists of planning parties for next weekend and 'recovering' from parties last weekend.

We even see this in the Christian life. We think that we are truly Christians, or that we're doing it right, during those moments of high intensity in our Christian walk. There's this subconsious idea that, as Christians, those moments where we are completely on fire for God and we see God everywhere are better or "right" and that those times of living in the valley and struggling to see God are not "Christian" or are "wrong". But we forget that life can't lived on an emotional high everyday. We need moments of peace. Also, God may be using the times when you don't necessarily "feel" him as an opportunity to prepare you for something better in life. For example, for me personally, I can see how God is using this moment of singleness (even when being single hurts!) to prepare me for his future for me in regards to dating and marriage. I've learned so much through the struggles that I truly would not trade it for anything.

My friend Tori said it well when she said, "God is just preparing you to be ready for the best." If it's not the best, then it's not from God - and God's "best" usually looks different than mine! Hold out for God's best, trust that he knows what he's doing (because he does!), and use today to learn something. What is God trying to teach you through this experience?

Finally, have patience. Josh Wilson sings, "My friend, you know how this all ends and you know where you're going, you just don't know how you'll get there. So say a prayer. And hold on, cause there's good for those who love God. Life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time, but you'll see the bigger picture." And he's right - it's going to take time, but press on. God loves you and he has a good and perfect plan for your life and he will never fail you.

Maybe there are things you can't see and all those things are happening to bring better ending. Someday, somehow, you'll see.

- "Before the Morning", by: Josh Wilson

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

- Zephaniah 3:17