Deepest Fear

In Captivating, Stasi Eldredge writes:

Every woman I've ever met feels it - something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone.

She is right. Read it again if you don't believe me.

There is a loveliness and a beauty and a mystery in women that we find and experience naturally but feel somehow opposed to.

When we see the need to spend more time with people, to get involved in their lives, to mentor and to serve, we hear Don't take on more than you can handle. You can't take their problems and yours at the same time. Why would they want to trust you with their problems anyway? And besides, you don't have the compassion or hospitality to minister to hurting people.

When we want to dress up and look our best, we hear You are just trying to get attention and make people look at you. You really aren't beautiful and none of that jewelry or make-up is going to cut it. It's a hopeless case.

Or what about this one? When we feel let down by yet another guy, we hear You are not worth it. No guy will pursue you because you're too messy, too emotional. You're not enough of a woman, so no guy will waste his time on you. No guy will have the courage and strength to approach you.

Ladies, this leads to the deepest fear of a multitude of women, and probably you, too. The fear of being abandoned and alone. The fear that no one will ever find you captivating or beautiful. The deep desire to be noticed, sought after, comforted, reached, encouraged, desired.

Those sentences in italics above are lies. Lies. Don't believe them. Satan likes to tell us lies, because we believe them so easily. The truth is that you are loved and admired and ransomed and held and found captivating by the only guy who actually has a say in the matter: God.

And the cool part is that He is more than willing and completely able to bless you with the companionship of friends and even a faithful husband, to further reveal His truth to us.

And the hard part is that we are all broken, messed up people. God is working to redeem and restore us, but we will be broken until we realize heaven. So, yeah, we're going to believe Satan's lies sometimes. We're going to be let down by people we trust. We're going to be told face-to-face that we are too much or not enough for the guys in our lives, for the friends we trust.

Guys [I'm wondering if any guys would read this far, but anyway], there are girls in your life right now who are asking these questions and believing these lies, and there's probably a girl out there who will one day marry you who is doing the same thing. All you can do is point these girls to God. The Eldredges write that a girl's biggest question is, "Am I captivating?", and the thing is that a guy cannot answer a girl's question (nor can a girl answer a guy's). Mostly, the parents, especially the dad, answer the questions. In addition, God is the supreme question-answerer, and His answers really matter. Anyway, guys, you can also be a stable force in the lives of these girls. Just being there is a great thing.

Finally, girls, remember that God has blessed you abundantly. And above all, he is faithful.

He will never fail you.

Forgive

The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.

(2 Corinthians 2:9-11)

Isaiah 40:3-41:10

Listen! It’s the voice of someone shouting,
“Clear the way through the wilderness
for the Lord!
Make a straight highway through the wasteland
for our God!

Fill in the valleys,
and level the mountains and hills.
Straighten the curves,
and smooth out the rough places.
Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed,
and all people will see it together.
The Lord has spoken!”

A voice said, “Shout!”
I asked, “What should I shout?”

“Shout that people are like the grass.
Their beauty fades as quickly
as the flowers in a field.
The grass withers and the flowers fade
beneath the breath of the Lord.
And so it is with people.
The grass withers and the flowers fade,
but the word of our God stands forever.”

O Zion, messenger of good news,
shout from the mountaintops!
Shout it louder, O Jerusalem.
Shout, and do not be afraid.
Tell the towns of Judah,
“Your God is coming!”
Yes, the Sovereign Lord is coming in power.
He will rule with a powerful arm.
See, he brings his reward with him as he comes.
He will feed his flock like a shepherd.
He will carry the lambs in his arms,
holding them close to his heart.
He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.

Who else has held the oceans in his hand?
Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers?
Who else knows the weight of the earth
or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?
Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord?
Who knows enough to give him advice or teach him?
Has the Lord ever needed anyone’s advice?
Does he need instruction about what is good?
Did someone teach him what is right
or show him the path of justice?
No, for all the nations of the world
are but a drop in the bucket.
They are nothing more
than dust on the scales.
He picks up the whole earth
as though it were a grain of sand.
All the wood in Lebanon’s forests
and all Lebanon’s animals would not be enough
to make a burnt offering worthy of our God.
The nations of the world are worth nothing to him.
In his eyes they count for less than nothing—
mere emptiness and froth.

To whom can you compare God?
What image can you find to resemble him?
Can he be compared to an idol formed in a mold,
overlaid with gold, and decorated with silver chains?
Or if people are too poor for that,
they might at least choose wood that won’t decay
and a skilled craftsman
to carve an image that won’t fall down!

Haven’t you heard? Don’t you understand?
Are you deaf to the words of God—
the words he gave before the world began?
Are you so ignorant?
God sits above the circle of the earth.
The people below seem like grasshoppers to him!
He spreads out the heavens like a curtain
and makes his tent from them.
He judges the great people of the world
and brings them all to nothing.
They hardly get started, barely taking root,
when he blows on them and they wither.
The wind carries them off like chaff.

"To whom will you compare me?
Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One.

Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.

O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

“Listen in silence before me, you lands beyond the sea.
Bring your strongest arguments.
Come now and speak.
The court is ready for your case.
“Who has stirred up this king from the east,
rightly calling him to God’s service?
Who gives this man victory over many nations
and permits him to trample their kings underfoot?
With his sword, he reduces armies to dust.
With his bow, he scatters them like chaff before the wind.
He chases them away and goes on safely,
though he is walking over unfamiliar ground.
Who has done such mighty deeds,
summoning each new generation from the beginning of time?
It is I, the Lord, the First and the Last.
I alone am he.”

The lands beyond the sea watch in fear.
Remote lands tremble and mobilize for war.
The idol makers encourage one another,
saying to each other, “Be strong!”
The carver encourages the goldsmith,
and the molder helps at the anvil.
“Good,” they say. “It’s coming along fine.”
Carefully they join the parts together,
then fasten the thing in place so it won’t fall over.

“But as for you, Israel my servant,
Jacob my chosen one,
descended from Abraham my friend,
I have called you back from the ends of the earth,
saying, ‘You are my servant.’
For I have chosen you
and will not throw you away.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

[Isaiah 40:3-41:10]