The Rescue

I knew there was a problem when it was 1 am and I was still on my computer, following some drama play out on Facebook. The thing about relationships is that they are messy, and if I didn't know better, I'd stay as far away from all relationships as possible. Thankfully, the blessings of good relationships supersede the troubles of even the worst, and we can rejoice in those.

I sit here reminded of friends of mine who are fearful and broken tonight. Near the end of the semester, a good friend and next-door neighbor dealt with problems in her family. Her uncle had contracted a severe illness and is still in the hospital, though regaining his abilities to speak and move. Then between Thanksgiving and Christmas break, her grandmother (her dad and uncle's mom) passed away. She was struggling with the hurt. I got a text from another friend yesterday that her great-grandmother, who has been in hospice, took a turn for the worse. Then today I got a Facebook message from a third friend whose grandfather is at risk for his second heart attack in a week and it doesn't look good.

While praying for and thinking about these friends who are hurting tonight over the fear of the unknown, a song came on my iTunes shuffle that seemed to fill the room. I've written earlier about music: how songs bring back memories and how sometimes those memories get altered or replaced. This case is similar. "The Rescue" is about a guy who is offering comfort and rescue to a girl who has been hurt, but it carries a symbolic meaning of God rescuing his beloved, even ending with the lyrics to "Amazing Grace."

It took a minute to break through, but I realized that God was changing my perception of this song. For so long, it has only served to remind me of a relationship that went south. Yet when I realize that God can redeem not only my heart, but also this song, I see his rescue available for my friends. He can take these notes and these lyrics and give them a new meaning. It is not really replacing what they used to remind me of, but rather, providing a new layer of meaning.

It is in that sense of rescue, beautiful rescue, when I realize this is a community thing. "Community" is that sense of partnership and in-it-together-ness that encircles us when we feel loved and supported and held by fellow believers around us. Community is what Hebrews 12:1 is referencing (and what Hebrews 11 is proving). Community is the body of Christ coming alongside each other, to do what Romans 12:15 is commanding.  Community is the reason and the opportunity for accountability. Community is what happens (for me, at least), during impromptu hand-holding prayer and within acoustic worship sessions and when friends stop to ask how you're doing and really listen.

And I've always thought of rescue as a singular deal. One person getting rescued by God. Alone. I guess that stems from my similar belief that salvation should also be an alone deal. It's the reason I hate altar calls. Why would I want to go up to the front, not only where can people see me, but also where some person I don't know is waiting to lay hands on me and ask God for something generic for me?

Maybe there is a sense of community in rescue. After a year of counseling, I firmly believe that Christian counseling should be an extension of the body of Christ, i.e. community. It's two Christians coming together to discuss and navigate pain. If counseling is not a form of rescue, I don't know what is!

Not only is counseling a form of rescue, but I also believe intercession prayer is as well. I've never been good at intercession. I mean, I know it doesn't really count as a talent or a hobby, but I have never really learned how to do it right or even disciplined myself enough to get a good amount of practice in it. I typically say the generic things ("I ask that You be with my friends") and not much more. However, today, I sent a prayer over text to my friend whose grandfather is in the hospital. That was unique in itself. But something else was different for me: I prayed a character quality of God and a Bible verse. Suddenly, the focus of that conversation with God was not on me or on my friend or even on his troubles, but it was on God. And that felt so freeing. In that moment, it didn't matter how the prayer affected my friend or his family, it mattered that God was praised and uplifted and acknowledged as omnipotent and omniscient King. Then once God was praised and I rejoiced in that, I got a reply from my friend and was able to rejoice in that as well. Rescue became a joint act. I got to play a small part in God's work in my friend's life.

Christian college kids everywhere can identify, but it is typically over breaks when I feel the least supported. Everyone is at home, doing their own things, and I live more than 45 minutes from any friends. Community is hard to come by and Satan is easy to listen to.

But the wonderful God we serve caught my attention earlier this break with significant themes in the devotional I've been using. Two days in a row, I saw themes of blindness and deafness, with Jesus providing healing and asking the people to watch him and listen to him. I thought about it for a while and could not figure out why it stuck out to me. The thing is, God provides community even when we're all home on breaks. Friends who call, text, and e-mail, (and who respond to mine) are such encouragements during this time. In addition, being able to be with my family (who have finally started attending a good church regularly!) provides community as well. He is speaking; are we listening? Have we opened our eyes to God and shut them to Satan?

God is in the redeeming and rescuing business, and many times He uses his children to minister to others of his children. Keep your eyes and ears open. After going through a difficult time, he may just use you to provide comfort and offer rescue to your brother or sister.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

What I'm Listening To:

"The Rescue" - Tyler Ward

"Hallelujah" - Tenth Avenue North

"I Will Wait" - Mumford and Sons

"Like An Avalanche" - Hillsong

Pages from My Asia Notebook (Part 1)

Welcome Back! As you know, I spent the last five weeks in Asia teaching, sight-seeing, and catching a vision, and I returned to the States almost a week ago. It was an amazing and challenging trip that put things into perspective and solidified my calling. I would like to share with you some passages from the notebook/journal I used in Asia. This is part one of two. Enjoy!

7/12/12
So, I met my class two days ago. They are absolutely adorable and I love all of them. To think that the Father loves all of them more than I ever will is simply amazing.
I shared the devo tonight (we each have two nights to share a devo with the rest of the team). I shared about Lowercase People - the bus drivers, waitresses, 7-11 employees, school janitors, etc. They are not our primary focus, but they are making this trip possible. (Great tie to Switchfoot as well!) I received lots of comments about how good it was and I said "thank you" - that's it. It was good for me. What a blessing to hear that, even when everyone was tired.

Out to lunch with some students.

I'm thankful for taxi cabs when we don't want to ride the bus and good seats when we do. I'm thankful for snacks and cold water and the internet and students who listen when we talk. I'm thankful for students who will invite me to lunch and Ms. Bersa and Mr. Wong who also invite us. I'm thankful for sleep.

7/15/12
What an amazing two weeks it's been. I can say I love sitting at the harbor with my team at Tsim Sha Tsui looking over the Hong Kong skyline. It was beautiful. I really love my team - though sometimes each of them can get a bit annoying at times. Making sure I get enough food, rest, and introvert time makes loving them easier.

Some of the team and me at the TST Harbor.

I am reminded of His forgiveness when I compare myself to His standard and find I can never measure up. We celebrated communion at fellowship today and the leader said: "We take communion because we love the Lord a little and want to love Him a more... When we celebrate it, we do so not out of guilt, but by remembering that Christ has clothed us in his white robes of righteousness." No guilt in communion, only grace and forgiveness and remembrance.

Singleness of Heart

I've been thinking a lot about relationships recently. About how messy they are, how our relationship with God affects other relationships and how other relationships affect our relationship with God, how people shape our lives, for better or for worse. I love seeing the parallels between my relationship with God and the relationship involved in marriage. It's absolutely beautiful.

Along the same lines, remember back two months ago when I first shared about a calling God had given me? (If not, you can read about it here.) Recently, God shook that up a little bit. He whispered to me that maybe it wasn't so much about singleness of relationship status as it was about singleness of heart.

When the people return to their homeland, they will remove every trace of their vile images and detestable idols. And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart, so they will obey my decrees and regulations. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God.

(Ezekiel 11:18-20)

This passage from Ezekiel is describing the Jewish people returning to Jerusalem after the exile. God tells Ezekiel that the people will give up their idolatry. God says that he will bring his people back to focusing on him spiritually and legally. Therefore, singleness of heart means to get rid of anything that even so much as threatens God's place in your life. Anything that breaks that first commandment is out. 

Interestingly, the passage also talks about having a tender and responsive heart. Ladies who are struggling with their emotions tend to think that if only they could just be strong and not weak, they wouldn't succumb to their emotions. Legalistic people often think they are never firm enough and that's why they can't keep their obligations. The fact is that being gentle, tender, open, whatever word you want to use, is good. It's good to be willing to let God use you, to be available to his calling, to let yourself melt when he pursues you. It's good to allow yourself to be responsive to God. 

Friends, are we walking with the Lord so closely that we are devoted to him like a bride is devoted to her soon-to-husband? Are we so patiently listening for his will and so captivated by his words that we will let ourselves be pursued?

God loves you. A ton. He died for you! And the point I'm making is that because he is so awesome and so great, we are called to praise him. One beautiful way to praise him is to allow only Him in our hearts at one time.

It's called singleness of heart. It means that while I don't know what God is doing in my love life and I probably won't want to know, I'm still seeking with everything, and maybe a little more than everything. Do I do it perfect? Nope. Anything but. But I know that God is faithful and that he loves us. No matter what.

1 Corinthians 8:9-13

But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. For if others see you - with your "superior knowledge" - eating in the temple of an idol, won’t they be encouraged to violate their conscience by eating food that has been offered to an idol? So because of your superior knowledge, a weak believer for whom Christ died will be destroyed. And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ. So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live - for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble.

1 Corinthians 8:9-13, NLT

Te Echo De Menos

This is what it feels like to miss.

This is what it feels like to love.

I love and miss so many people right now.

I prayed a year ago that God would provide friends for me at college. I wasn’t worried about finances or classes or work - I was worried that I would not have a community.

But God provided. And yeah, they’ve hurt me, I’ve hurt them. I’ve questioned them and challenged them and they’ve done the same for me.

But I love them. And I know they love me. It’s a love that is active and real. If they need something, I’ll be there. Same for me. God answered that prayer of mine big time.

So I think I might ask for him to reveal more (of him and whatever else he has for me) this coming year. Not to test him, but to grow my faith.

My God can do anything.

Doing it Alone

It's moments like this that remind me I was never meant to do it alone. Why do I even try?

It's almost humorous. My mom and stepdad both got off work early today and drove to a nice furniture store about an hour or two away. They dropped my little brother off with me. So, he and I got suitcases down from the attic by ourselves, which was a great feat for my acrophobic brother. I packed up one of the suitcases to take back to school with me for two weeks. Then I asked him to come out with me to the "shop" behind our house to look for a bottle of car wash, since I was considering washing my car. During this time, my mom called, suggested we order pizza, and told me where the bathing suits were. We couldn't find any car wash, but my brother suggested using every kind of wax and polish and degreaser that my stepdad owns. I called my mom again and asked where to order pizza, and the only place nearby doesn't deliver and is really sketch (which my mom assured me was fine, but I disagreed).

And then I got frustrated. I remembered that I had wanted to get my car washed somewhere professionally, since I wanted it vacuumed as well. It frustrated me that I didn't remember that before I lugged my brother outside to help me look for a bottle of car wash. It frustrated me that I was hot and tired and sweaty and now wouldn't be able to wash my car. It frustrated me that my brother wanted pizza and I wasn't about to go to the sketchy pizza place alone. I just felt very frustrated and bothered and anxious.

Anxious for what?

I wanted someone to be there. Someone to put a hand on my shoulder and say, "It's okay, it's okay. This is not a big deal. You can get your car washed another time." Someone to give me a hug and tell me that they'll go get pizza. Someone to say, "Hey, I've got this."

Is that crazy?

This is something I should be able to handle on my own. And God proves to me everyday that he's with me. And that he's got everything under control.

I guess this is another reminder that I'm ready live on my own yet. I'm not ready to get married. I'm not ready to plan meals or raise a family or take care of other people or be independent yet. And I feel ridiculous saying that. I mean, I'm the adult in this situation, right? But I guess it's okay, even a good thing, that I'm not ready to be on my own yet. I've still got 3 more years in college living on campus. I bet I've got between four and ten years until marriage comes knocking on my door. I've got time. For once, that seems like a very nice thing to have.

When I was younger, I was always waiting. Waiting to get my braces off, waiting to go to high school, waiting to get a driver's license, waiting to get a car, waiting to get a job, waiting to get asked out on a date (still hasn't happened), waiting to graduate, waiting to go to college... And I guess I'm still waiting. Waiting for my next paycheck, waiting for the summer, waiting to move up a year in school, waiting to get asked out, waiting for my final grades to be posted online... It's just at this point in my life, I'm okay to wait. God wants to do something during this period of waiting.

I realized earlier that God wants to do something great in me and through me before there's a guy in my life. Sometime during this past semester I forgot about that and got all sidetracked. It's a little disheartening to look back and say, "Wow, if only I had remembered what God wanted to do! How would things have looked different?" Now, though, I can look forward and say, "How will things look different now that I'm reminding myself of what God wants to do?"

So, while God has done and is doing great things through my singleness, I'm also considering: what is God doing while I'm in this awkward stage between childhood and adulthood? Well, for one, he's teaching me what it looks like to be an adult. What it looks like to do things alone, and how I'm never really alone.

At the very beginning of my first semester of college, my car broke down, and my mom and stepdad drove the roll-back (like a tow-truck) two hours in the pouring rain to get my car and take me out to dinner. I was grateful that they came, but I was upset that I couldn't handle the situation on my own. My mom told me that of course I couldn't handle my broke-down car by myself, that I wasn't meant to. Then she gave me some advice that has really stuck with me...

Being an adult doesn't mean you don't ask for help. It simply means knowing who to ask and when to ask them for help.

Yeah, even adults are not meant to do it alone. It's not a measure of adulthood if I can accomplish everything myself. Obviously, becoming confident and competent mean that I'm an adult. But another measure of adulthood is my being interdependent: self-sufficient, but able to relate to adults as adults. Knowing where to appropriately find help, not doing everything without help.

And, another thing, God never called us to completely independent. He created us to know and love and need each other. That's the beauty of people. They're messy (oh, so messy!) but worthwhile. Relationships are so important and necessary to life. The good news is that God did not stick us on this earth to live alone. He gave us people, fellow believers, even. He gave us his Holy Spirit, who will be with us and in us forever. And he gave us immediate, direct contact to himself, through prayer because Jesus died and rose again for us.

So, in the end, I'm never really alone. Maybe this was just a slightly humorous, frustratingly obvious way to make me see that. Now, if you'll excuse me, my little brother and I are going to go play a board game. :)