1 Corinthians 8:9-13

But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. For if others see you - with your "superior knowledge" - eating in the temple of an idol, won’t they be encouraged to violate their conscience by eating food that has been offered to an idol? So because of your superior knowledge, a weak believer for whom Christ died will be destroyed. And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ. So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live - for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble.

1 Corinthians 8:9-13, NLT

Feet: A Lesson in Humility

I've participated in a couple foot-washings, at Bible study groups and on mission trips, both giving and receiving the washing. They have all been great experiences and I always get the feeling like I'm serving and being served. It is quite a humbling experience.

Tonight, however, I was being served and I didn't even realize it.

Today, after a pair of shoes I haven't worn in a while rubbed my heels raw, I took off my shoes to walk from class to lunch, hoping that I could give my heels a break from the rubbing. Unfortunately, the asphalt between the two said locations was extremely hot. Due to callouses on my feet, I didn't even notice the heat until I found my seat. (Read that last sentence aloud!) Anyway, it wasn't until I sat down in the cafeteria (with my shoes back on) that I realized how much the balls of my feet hurt from the hot asphalt. In fact, I had caused heat blisters to form on the balls of my feet.

Since Band-Aids can only do so much, I asked my lovely roommate to take a look. We have known each other since last year, but we have only been rooming together for 3 days so far. She is very knowledgeable about minor injuries and the best ways to treat them. Despite this however, I was half-expecting her to say something like, "Man, that looks bad. Do you need more band-aids?" But instead, she let me lay down on the bed and she sat in front of me and held my feet up near her face so she could remove the dead skin, apply cream that would kill the germs, and then apply antibiotic. She then put Band-Aids on my heels and studied the blisters on the balls of my feet.

To begin with, I did some pretty stupid things. Of course asphalt is hot at noon in August in the south. It should go without saying. But without criticizing me or berating me, my lovely roommate just got to work, including handling my stinky feet and my whiny attitude (I'm bad with pain). She didn't mind working with me or asking me to move so she could accomplish the task. She took extra precautions so I would hopefully heal faster.

It reminded me so much of Jesus so very willingly and gently accepting our stupidness and mistakes and failures and dirty pasts and freely saving us. It's a process and, through that, there's pain. The cream Lula rubbed on my ankles stung and burned. But it's worth it. Now the area is clean and can begin to heal. And so are the little places in my heart where God has already started to work. Jesus got down and dirty (in fact, he died) so I could live.

And why? Why did he want me? Why does he want to get into our brokenness, redeem us, and restore us?

Love. Jesus literally loves us more than life.

And we are blessed by beautiful people who model that for us more times that we often realize.

Living in Today

God is not in the failure business. In fact, I believe there are no failures where God is concerned. Even a "failure" in our eyes is simply preparation or a redirection in God's.

There is one person, however, who is interested in bringing up our failures to our faces, and we give him way too much credit in our lives. Satan, unlike God, wants us to know how insignificant we are so we will become depressed, lose confidence, belittle ourselves, and stop fighting for God's side. God wants us to know how insignificant we are to this world so we can run to him for our significance and realize his significance and power.

I'm going to let you in on a secret. When I was little, I had horrible stress- and nerve-induced stomach-aches, especially when I was going to be doing something new or something I was unsure about. They made me so nauseous I couldn't eat, and I often had to breathe deeply and hold onto something to keep from getting sick. Tonight, after I picked my brother up from a concert, I started feeling that familiar nervousness I thought I had overcome more than a year ago. I was nervous about going back to college tomorrow. The whole stomach-ache and sweaty palms business. Why? Why was I suddenly upset about something I couldn't wait to do? I would have gone back to school in June if I could. Why this sudden nervousness?

And then it hit me. Strangely, filtering in to my thoughts like sunlight filters through half-closed blinds, a memory of a time I had failed last year came rushing back. It involved a musical instrument and a couple instances when I was to demonstrate, but couldn't. I won't go into the details, but 88 keys tend to be a problem when you've only got 10 fingers. Playing music is something I do for fun, like running, and I'm not too talented at it, especially when people are watching. Without warning, other "failures," like relationships gone awry, conversations that could have been handled better, and people I could have treated differently came flashing back to mind. To be honest, it was debilitating. I mean, I was still driving, keeping the speed limit and stopping at red lights, but I felt paralyzed.

Then I saw this huge lightning bolt crack ahead of me, slightly to the left. I saw it breaking through layers of cloud and tree limbs, a purplish color, bright and forceful. And only for a moment, because as soon as it came, it left. It faded off into the distance. I stared at the direction from which it had come and waited to see it again. This next time, it was even bigger and brighter. The flashes of lightening looked like strobe lights against the night sky. It kinda hit me that there's something bigger going on here. As much as I fear my mistakes and find it hard to tear myself away from my doubts and flaws and defeats, they are not the issue. I've got to separate myself from the errors I hold on to. What purpose do they serve? And do other people really care about something that happened six months when I was a terrified freshman? Do other people really poke fun of past mistakes of mine? Do they even remember?

Hillsong sings,

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

Christ has overcome our failures. Can we not now stand? Stand to overcome them, but also stand to move on? Do not let past mistakes dictate future actions. You are your own person. And you are new in Christ. His mercies are new every morning. So why do we find it so hard to forgive ourselves and accept this mercy? Jesus died for our sins, to forgive us for our wrongs. He also died to redeem us from wrongs done to us. In addition, he died so we could know freedom. Even here. The joys of eternal life don't wait until heaven to appear.

Are you letting fears that you'll fail restrict your freedom? It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Don't get tangled up in life before Christ again. You don't have to hold on to past mistakes like long lost treasures. Name them, learn from them, and move on. And live in today.

Cemeteries: A Summer Recap and Thoughts on Jesus

Less than 9 days until I return to college. I will be a sophomore - 1 year under my belt, but still left with enough time to enjoy it.

In between observations and online classes, VBS and summer camp, concerts and mini-road trips, I enjoyed being home. Sometimes I regret not applying for jobs, but on the other hand, I really loved just doing nothing. I loved being able to take my brother roller skating, eat dinner with my family almost every night, waste time online, and visit cemeteries.

Have I mentioned I love cemeteries? I love genealogical research, finding my ancestors, scrolling through US censuses, and locating the gravesites of people whose grandchildren's grandchildren are my parents. I love standing at the foot of their graves and closing my eyes and picturing people (who never knew that one day I would come into the world as a result of their marriage and children) bury their deceased loved ones, back before TV existed. It's really something awesome.

This summer, other than visiting cemeteries where my ancestors are buried, I also used the path around the cemetery in the little town where I live as a walking/running track. I've never been much for health clubs or organized sports or most types of physical activity, but I've realized that exercise is good. For one, since I've been getting good exercise more than three times a week, I haven't felt nearly as panicky or anxious or depressed as those times when I have not exercised in months. There's something to be said for getting enough sleep and enough exercise, especially for easily anxious people like me.

Waking up about 8, eating breakfast, reading the Word, and walking/running a good 1.5 - 2 miles before starting the day's events has been a regular schedule for me the past few months, most recently since I returned home from the beach with my mom and stepdad. Typically I walk a few laps, run one or two laps, then walk a couple more to cool down. Each lap is 1/4 of a mile, so six laps is one and a half miles. Today, unlike the usual stretch, walk, run, walk, drink water, drive home business, I cut across the track on my last lap to study the stone figure in the middle of the cemetery.

I always assumed it was Jesus, and even though there are no markings or signs, I'm reasonably sure it is. Running and sweating your way around a cemetery between five and eight times a day could be creepy, if I let it, especially with this large stone guy looking like he's going to step down from the pedestal and give me a bear hug at any moment. I guess because I like cemeteries so much, the stone Jesus sculpture didn't seem to bother me.

Walking up close to the sculpture, I realized something I hadn't noticed before. Jesus's head was

dipped slightly and his arms outstretched. You might be able to see it better in the picture on the left. It reminds me of Jesus on the cross, such a humble, giving position, but at the same time, so strong. It's like he's defeated death and he's welcoming everyone into his arms. Now, I know this is just an artist's interpretation of a Westernized Jesus, but I just can't help but be filled with the same feeling I get at all cemeteries. You might not be able to tell from the pictures, but this sculpture is quite a bit old. I kept thinking of all the people who had visited this cemetery in years past, whether to bury someone they were close to, or to lay flowers on a grave of a family member. And I wondered how many people saw the sculpture and realized Jesus was opening his arms to them, to their grief and pain and brokenness.

My Jesus is humble and patient. I mean, read Philippians 2:3-11. Jesus "took the humble position of a slave" when he came to earth to live and die for us. But he is so much stronger and greater than we often give him credit for. He defeated death and rose again to redeem us, to purchase us from sin's tangles and give us the lives we never could have had otherwise.

One of my favorite passages, the two verses I chose as my Senior Bible Verses when I graduated high school, is Ephesians 5:1-2. It summaries this idea well:

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

It also provides direction for where I'm going. This direction? Love. Imitating God. Following Christ's example of selflessness.

I'm involved in ministry this coming semester, serving my fellow college students through community and dialogue on the Eldredges' Captivating and Wild at Heart books with a friend, mentoring a 6th grade girl, and serving in various capacities at church and on campus. I'm working at the job I held last year in the Admissions Office. And I am asking God to prepare my heart and love and be loved in great ways this year.

The thing I love the most about cemeteries is how they are so directly related to love. I mean, all of those deceased people have families, families who buy flower arrangements to cover their graves. All those families have friends who came to the funerals for their loved ones. So, love. But seeing the sculpture of a humbled and powerful Jesus welcoming his children into his arms reminds me of Jesus's love. It gets me excited to one day see the face of my Savior in heaven and gives me the encouragement to keep going when things get tough.

As I was walking away from the sculpture, the Cupid Shuffle came on my iPod, which I had just remembered was still in my ears. I started to dance without realizing it, and I was suddenly like Oh my goodness, this is so irreverent! But then I laughed at myself. Lord willing, the people these graves symbolize are rejoicing in the arms of Jesus. And I bet that the Jesus Shuffle is on the playlist for the party in heaven. So, don't tell my grandma, but I Cupid Shuffle-d all the way back to my car.

And, friends, that's what I did this summer. Believe me, I'm planning to do something a little more exciting that sit at home and run around cemeteries next summer, although I did learn a lot, spend good time with my family, and served at summer camp and VBS, which I really enjoyed.

Less than nine days remains, and I'm going to enjoy every one of them until I move back in at college and make the most of those eight or nine months of sophomore year.

The Lord, My Husband

Hosea 2:14-16 and 19, speaking of God restoring the unfaithful nation of Israel:

'But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt. When that day comes,' says the Lord, 'you will call me "my husband" instead of "my master." .... I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion.'

Can you say beautiful? Sinful, rebellious, unfaithful Israel, restored to her king and lover. And represented by Hosea marrying, and then returning to rescue multiple times, his adulterous wife. It's amazing.

I've been thinking recently about God as my lover or husband. It's kindof a strange idea, especially after so many Sunday School lessons where Jesus was presented as a best friend or Father-figure. When I moved up to high school ministry, the same presentation was applied. There was little mention, as far as I can remember, of Jesus being a lover. (Some of my pastors strayed away from Song of Solomon, too, if you get my gist.)

But God definitely is a lover. You can't read Hosea without seeing that. Last month, I wrote a post referencing a verse from Exodus in which Moses tells the Israelites that God is jealous for a relationship with them, his chosen people. In a later post, I reflected on God being jealous for a relationship with me. And you.

There's such a distinct connection between God's love and human love. Granted, God's love is always unconditional even when human love is not, but one helps to explain the other. An older friend once told me that she began to understand God's love for her more clearly as she experienced the love her husband had for her. It makes sense. Another friend explained relationships by saying that God gives us friendships and romantic relationships to illustrate and help us understand the relationship God wants to have with us. Since we can see and physically touch other people, our responses to them are typically more "natural" (although maybe that's the wrong word) than with God, whom we cannot see or touch. There is a physical metaphor to almost every spiritual occurrence (e.g. run the good race, warfare, discipline, etc) - and human relationships are a metaphor for our relationship with God.

Oddly enough, diving deeper into a connection like this with God has got me desiring a dating relationship. It seems strange that this enlightenment about God's love would reawaken my longing for love, but only until I realize that God created love. It's normal. It's good. How can the God of the universe who sent his only Son to die for me not inspire love? How can I respond to him in any other way but love, when I realize that while I was yet a sinner, steeped in filth, he loved me first and he rescued me simply because he wanted to, simply because he considered me valuable?

And that makes me desire something deep and beautiful: a dating relationship with a guy that is, of course, fun and affectionate, but is also genuine. Real and compassionate. Supportive, poetic, and ridiculously adventurous. Where God is so central and so overwhelming to the relationship that people watching us just can't help but feel Him. Where we are our own persons, but we become something stronger together. A relationship in which physical boundaries are tightly drawn. A relationship where I can stop trying, controlling, and wanting to manipulate, and just enjoy. A place where vulnerability is necessary and trust is required. Something with possibilities. Something that leads to marriage. I mean, dating that doesn't have the possibility of heading toward marriage is a bit pointless, don't you think?

Maybe I'm just a dreamer. Maybe that sort of thing doesn't happen anymore. Maybe it's just for movies. I looked up synonyms for "romantic," and alongside words like affectionate, amorous, and aphrodisiac, I saw impractical, unrealistic, unusual, and Utopian. But something in me, something deeply embedded in my soul, tells me that the love I desire is not impossible. It's confirmed by the beautiful heart of my Savior.

So, I'm waiting. But (cue John Waller), while I'm waiting, I'm not complaining. Okay, I'm not trying to complain... Haha. But it's not so much waiting as it is letting God have his way with me. What is God doing in me? Well, for one, he's showing me how faithful he is. He has been doing that since Easter, and I love watching him work as he reveals faithfulness after faithfulness. Another thing God is doing is showing me his love. He's pouring out love, through friends and experiences and moments like two nights ago when I just spent a while in surrender and worship and prayer. And I have realized that God is not finished yet. Every time I think he is, he draws me through another challenge just to convince that there's more I have yet to learn! And I'm learning what it means to get excited about those things God is about. I'm learning to listen to his heart and see people the way he sees them. And I have the freedom to do what he's asking without hesitation - I'm not tied to any guy... which is both a humbling and freeing thought.

The Lord is my husband, my Savior, my lover. I'm excited about knowing and loving him as such, even though I have no idea how to do it. But I am learning, ever so slowly. And God is working. I am overwhelmed only by His love.

Ministry

I'm going to start this one with a disclaimer. I'm not majoring in Christian Education or Cross-Cultural Studies. I'm not planning on working in a church, running a non-profit, or becoming a full-time missionary when I graduate. But, like most of you, I'm a Christian with a desire for ministry. I'm a born-again believer with a mission and a goal for lost hearts to be ransomed for Christ and for my heart to be used by God in the process.

And because of that, I am involved in ministry, both scheduled and spontaneous. Christian Ministry is that process, that service, that giving of ourselves which serves to aid in others knowing Christ, both coming to know him and growing deeper in love with him. Steve Miller writes here,

Ministry occurs when God answers a need through your loving service, and God gets the credit.

This need, as he explains, can be emotional, physical, and (most of all) spiritual. A person's ultimate salvation is their biggest need, but, like Jesus healed the blind and deaf before they believed him, so we must meet the outward need before the spiritual need. We should be doing this all the time, regardless of our major or our student ministry.

So that's what ministry is. But I want to confess a bit and encourage my fellow ministers in Christ's service to steer clear of a couple problems we often encounter in the realm of ministry. I'm going to be all technical and include some bullet points.

• I once asked a friend: "How much of this is friendship and how much is ministry?" It's a different circumstance, but I think we need to ask ourselves the same thing. How much of the time we spend with God is for our relationship with Him and our companionship with Him and just knowing him and breathing him in... And how much is so we can prepare a Bible study lesson? Do we go to God so we can cross him off our list and move on to the next task of the day? Do we go to God to get work done? Or do we go to God to know him? Bill Johnson said,

  If you engage with the Holy Spirit because you want to merely be effective in ministry, then you’re developing professional intimacy… and what do we call people who are intimate as a profession?

• Many Christian ministers often forget that there are so many people looking up to them. Take the example of a pastor: countless churches have dispelled because of a pastor's immorality, but few disband because the guy who sat in the third row and played in the church softball team did the same thing. We obviously put a high level of trust in our ministry leaders and James speaks to this strict regard when he writes about teachers in the church in James 3:1. So what about us? We're not pastors, but we often forget how important it is to maintain high standards because of our ministries. For example, for my student ministry this coming semester, I am going to continue mentoring an eleven year old girl who lives near the college I attend. It is imperative that I embrace and sustain purity, not only when I'm around her, but anytime. Things like improper speech, immodest clothing, lack of respect, or hanging out where I should not be spending time, do not help my case when I talk with her about God. Basically, I'm talking about not allowing yourself to be a stumbling block to someone else. Friends, don't let the way you behave hinder your witness in ministry. There are people watching. Ask God that they would see Him in you. In II Corinthians 6:3-4, Paul writes,

  We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind.

• Finally, the last thing in the quote from Steve Miller (above) is that God gets the credit for our service. This is the hardest part. You know, you put in all that work, you paid the money to go on the trip or buy the supplies, you organized that service project and coordinated volunteers... Yeah, but give God the glory. A friend always says, "Keep pointing up." Don't hesitate to let people know that it's God who saves souls and God who prepares hearts and God who plans ministry. But I also know that it is right, very right, to feel good about ministry and service. Don't think that since we can't get the credit, we can't feel good about the results - just make sure you're bragging on Jesus. :)

And ministry is not simply volunteering at children's church or collecting canned goods, although those are wonderful and needed ministries. Honestly, I cannot give examples of ministry because there are so many: Ministries we can support and be a part of through prayer, giving money or donations, our time, our energy, our talents, our gifts, our hearts... At the end of the day, it is the lives God is changing (including our own) that make ministry worth it. So keep serving, keep loving, keep going on mission trips, feeding the homeless, meeting to encourage each other, playing with little kids, making music for worship, and whatever you do for His glory. It's beautiful and honoring and like a fragrant offering to our King.