'But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt. When that day comes,' says the Lord, 'you will call me "my husband" instead of "my master." .... I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion.'Can you say beautiful? Sinful, rebellious, unfaithful Israel, restored to her king and lover. And represented by Hosea marrying, and then returning to rescue multiple times, his adulterous wife. It's amazing.
I've been thinking recently about God as my lover or husband. It's kindof a strange idea, especially after so many Sunday School lessons where Jesus was presented as a best friend or Father-figure. When I moved up to high school ministry, the same presentation was applied. There was little mention, as far as I can remember, of Jesus being a lover. (Some of my pastors strayed away from Song of Solomon, too, if you get my gist.)
But God definitely is a lover. You can't read Hosea without seeing that. Last month, I wrote a post referencing a verse from Exodus in which Moses tells the Israelites that God is jealous for a relationship with them, his chosen people. In a later post, I reflected on God being jealous for a relationship with me. And you.
There's such a distinct connection between God's love and human love. Granted, God's love is always unconditional even when human love is not, but one helps to explain the other. An older friend once told me that she began to understand God's love for her more clearly as she experienced the love her husband had for her. It makes sense. Another friend explained relationships by saying that God gives us friendships and romantic relationships to illustrate and help us understand the relationship God wants to have with us. Since we can see and physically touch other people, our responses to them are typically more "natural" (although maybe that's the wrong word) than with God, whom we cannot see or touch. There is a physical metaphor to almost every spiritual occurrence (e.g. run the good race, warfare, discipline, etc) - and human relationships are a metaphor for our relationship with God.
Oddly enough, diving deeper into a connection like this with God has got me desiring a dating relationship. It seems strange that this enlightenment about God's love would reawaken my longing for love, but only until I realize that God created love. It's normal. It's good. How can the God of the universe who sent his only Son to die for me not inspire love? How can I respond to him in any other way but love, when I realize that while I was yet a sinner, steeped in filth, he loved me first and he rescued me simply because he wanted to, simply because he considered me valuable?
And that makes me desire something deep and beautiful: a dating relationship with a guy that is, of course, fun and affectionate, but is also genuine. Real and compassionate. Supportive, poetic, and ridiculously adventurous. Where God is so central and so overwhelming to the relationship that people watching us just can't help but feel Him. Where we are our own persons, but we become something stronger together. A relationship in which physical boundaries are tightly drawn. A relationship where I can stop trying, controlling, and wanting to manipulate, and just enjoy. A place where vulnerability is necessary and trust is required. Something with possibilities. Something that leads to marriage. I mean, dating that doesn't have the possibility of heading toward marriage is a bit pointless, don't you think?
Maybe I'm just a dreamer. Maybe that sort of thing doesn't happen anymore. Maybe it's just for movies. I looked up synonyms for "romantic," and alongside words like affectionate, amorous, and aphrodisiac, I saw impractical, unrealistic, unusual, and Utopian. But something in me, something deeply embedded in my soul, tells me that the love I desire is not impossible. It's confirmed by the beautiful heart of my Savior.
So, I'm waiting. But (cue John Waller), while I'm waiting, I'm not complaining. Okay, I'm not trying to complain... Haha. But it's not so much waiting as it is letting God have his way with me. What is God doing in me? Well, for one, he's showing me how faithful he is. He has been doing that since Easter, and I love watching him work as he reveals faithfulness after faithfulness. Another thing God is doing is showing me his love. He's pouring out love, through friends and experiences and moments like two nights ago when I just spent a while in surrender and worship and prayer. And I have realized that God is not finished yet. Every time I think he is, he draws me through another challenge just to convince that there's more I have yet to learn! And I'm learning what it means to get excited about those things God is about. I'm learning to listen to his heart and see people the way he sees them. And I have the freedom to do what he's asking without hesitation - I'm not tied to any guy... which is both a humbling and freeing thought.
The Lord is my husband, my Savior, my lover. I'm excited about knowing and loving him as such, even though I have no idea how to do it. But I am learning, ever so slowly. And God is working. I am overwhelmed only by His love.
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