Spiritually Prepared

My biggest fear going into college was that I wouldn't make any friends. God radically challenged and demolished that fear by blessing me with an amazing group of friends I have kept and loved these last two years. I would not be here without them.

Now, when it comes to my five week trip to Asia (which I leave for in 7 days!), my biggest fear is that I am not spiritually prepared enough. It's like this little sneaky feeling that I should be somewhere else (farther or deeper or stronger) in my relationship with God and that I'm just not there yet. I was actually really upset that I was not as "Christian" as I thought I should be before embarking on this trip.

The organization I'm serving with really emphasizes preparation and  pre-trip planning, even providing a Bible study, a journal devotional, and a book on servanthood to prepare us for the trip and the ministry we'll be doing. I think that's great, but it was affecting my outlook on the trip in general. I felt like I was not good enough to go to Asia in the first place. Fortunately, I was wrong. It's not about my "good-ness" or ability. It's about God's goodness and ability. He will equip me to do the good work he is calling me to. The pre-trip devotionals and Bible studies are for the purpose of opening my eyes and heart so I am willing to let him use me. They serve little purpose than to help me be aware, to help open and keep open the lines of communication between me and God.

Tirzah Presbyterian Church

I learned this while I was on a mini road trip today. This morning, I woke up at 6:30am and drove a little over an hour to a city a couple counties over from mine. It was fairly spontaneous, as the idea occurred to me late yesterday afternoon, and I wasn't sure exactly where I was going. I ended up doing everything I set out to do. First, I visited a tiny unincorporated community called Tirzah. In Hebrew, "Tirzah" is a female name which means "She is my delight" and it is found in the Bible as both a name and a city. I've always wanted to visit it just because of the name, but I learned today that the little town is just one street long! The road (Tirzah Rd) is about a mile and a half long and it literally has one church and a bunch of pretty houses. That's it. I wondered why I drove all the way there to drive down one street. Later, I went to the County library and found old records from the church, but nothing to explain why it was named Tirzah.

I think I set out trying to prove that I was beautiful or to find beauty. Maybe if I'm beautiful, I found myself reasoning, my Father will notice me. Or maybe I went about it trying to prove that I was somehow a good Christian, that I could go be away with God somewhere and have an amazing experience and come back spiritually renewed and glowing. Initially, I didn't set out looking to spend more time with God; I set out trying to be someone I wasn't.

Tirzah Road sign

After that random adventure, I drove to the Glencairn Gardens, a volunteer-run flower garden in the area. I spent some time taking pictures of nature and enjoying the scenery. Then I settled in for Jesus time. And let me tell you, God showed up without me needing to pressure him into coming. Or get down on my hands and knees and beg his presence. Not that there's anything wrong with asking God to be among us. The fact is that I learned that He already is. It matters so much to me that God sees me, that he notices me, that he finds me important, significant, and yes, beautiful. I failed to realize that he already does.

I don't have to do anything to get his attention because I already have it. He has carved my name into the palms of his hands. He doesn't just walk away when I need him or ignore me when I call him or find something more interesting to do. He always wants to hear my voice.

Flower at the Gardens

Thus, I realized I tend to focus on myself way too much. Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest had this to say today: "The continual inner-searching we do in an effort to see if we are what we ought to be generates a self-centered, sickly type of Christianity, not the vigorous and simple life of a child of God."

I honestly felt like I wasn't good enough, and that held me back from doing so much. Chambers says that the correct attitude is to "launch out in reckless, unrestrained belief that the redemption is complete," because even if it isn't, we are made right with God in Christ, and we should move on from ourselves. At some point, we should not "worry anymore about [ourselves], but begin to do as Jesus has said...". Which is: prayer and service. Sometimes as Christians, we get this weird idea that sanctification and ministry are not simultaneous. I would like to argue that they almost always happen at the same time. God has saved me and is saving me and I'm working out my salvation through my work for God's kingdom.

The point is that God sees and notices and loves me. Sometimes I still have to be reminded of that. Because he so generously lavishes love and forgiveness on me, I can go and serve and minister to others, even if I don't feel perfect or even good enough. You know why?

Because we "are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that [we] may declare the praises of him who called [us] out of darkness into this wonderful light" (1 Peter 2:9). He chose us to serve him. And if we waited until we were perfect to start serving, we would be in heaven already. (Alone, of course, because a nice portion of that serving is missions work.)

In this post from March, I included 1 Peter 2:9 because I heard it twice in one less-than-two-hour period and I couldn't figure out why. However, today, when I opened My Utmost for His Highest and saw that 1 Peter 2:9 was the headlining verse, I knew God was going to speak to me through it. It was like he had given me a little taste beforehand so I'd know when to pay attention when he used that verse to speak to me. What a strange blessing from the Lord!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that God is going to use me how and where he wants me. He is going to equip me for the work to which he's called me. And I don't have to be superwoman or super-Christian. I just have to be willing.

What I'm Listening To:

"You're Beautiful" - Phil Wickham

"Something Beautiful" - NeedtoBreathe

Switchfoot on shuffle

Feet: A Lesson in Humility

I've participated in a couple foot-washings, at Bible study groups and on mission trips, both giving and receiving the washing. They have all been great experiences and I always get the feeling like I'm serving and being served. It is quite a humbling experience.

Tonight, however, I was being served and I didn't even realize it.

Today, after a pair of shoes I haven't worn in a while rubbed my heels raw, I took off my shoes to walk from class to lunch, hoping that I could give my heels a break from the rubbing. Unfortunately, the asphalt between the two said locations was extremely hot. Due to callouses on my feet, I didn't even notice the heat until I found my seat. (Read that last sentence aloud!) Anyway, it wasn't until I sat down in the cafeteria (with my shoes back on) that I realized how much the balls of my feet hurt from the hot asphalt. In fact, I had caused heat blisters to form on the balls of my feet.

Since Band-Aids can only do so much, I asked my lovely roommate to take a look. We have known each other since last year, but we have only been rooming together for 3 days so far. She is very knowledgeable about minor injuries and the best ways to treat them. Despite this however, I was half-expecting her to say something like, "Man, that looks bad. Do you need more band-aids?" But instead, she let me lay down on the bed and she sat in front of me and held my feet up near her face so she could remove the dead skin, apply cream that would kill the germs, and then apply antibiotic. She then put Band-Aids on my heels and studied the blisters on the balls of my feet.

To begin with, I did some pretty stupid things. Of course asphalt is hot at noon in August in the south. It should go without saying. But without criticizing me or berating me, my lovely roommate just got to work, including handling my stinky feet and my whiny attitude (I'm bad with pain). She didn't mind working with me or asking me to move so she could accomplish the task. She took extra precautions so I would hopefully heal faster.

It reminded me so much of Jesus so very willingly and gently accepting our stupidness and mistakes and failures and dirty pasts and freely saving us. It's a process and, through that, there's pain. The cream Lula rubbed on my ankles stung and burned. But it's worth it. Now the area is clean and can begin to heal. And so are the little places in my heart where God has already started to work. Jesus got down and dirty (in fact, he died) so I could live.

And why? Why did he want me? Why does he want to get into our brokenness, redeem us, and restore us?

Love. Jesus literally loves us more than life.

And we are blessed by beautiful people who model that for us more times that we often realize.

Ministry

I'm going to start this one with a disclaimer. I'm not majoring in Christian Education or Cross-Cultural Studies. I'm not planning on working in a church, running a non-profit, or becoming a full-time missionary when I graduate. But, like most of you, I'm a Christian with a desire for ministry. I'm a born-again believer with a mission and a goal for lost hearts to be ransomed for Christ and for my heart to be used by God in the process.

And because of that, I am involved in ministry, both scheduled and spontaneous. Christian Ministry is that process, that service, that giving of ourselves which serves to aid in others knowing Christ, both coming to know him and growing deeper in love with him. Steve Miller writes here,

Ministry occurs when God answers a need through your loving service, and God gets the credit.

This need, as he explains, can be emotional, physical, and (most of all) spiritual. A person's ultimate salvation is their biggest need, but, like Jesus healed the blind and deaf before they believed him, so we must meet the outward need before the spiritual need. We should be doing this all the time, regardless of our major or our student ministry.

So that's what ministry is. But I want to confess a bit and encourage my fellow ministers in Christ's service to steer clear of a couple problems we often encounter in the realm of ministry. I'm going to be all technical and include some bullet points.

• I once asked a friend: "How much of this is friendship and how much is ministry?" It's a different circumstance, but I think we need to ask ourselves the same thing. How much of the time we spend with God is for our relationship with Him and our companionship with Him and just knowing him and breathing him in... And how much is so we can prepare a Bible study lesson? Do we go to God so we can cross him off our list and move on to the next task of the day? Do we go to God to get work done? Or do we go to God to know him? Bill Johnson said,

  If you engage with the Holy Spirit because you want to merely be effective in ministry, then you’re developing professional intimacy… and what do we call people who are intimate as a profession?

• Many Christian ministers often forget that there are so many people looking up to them. Take the example of a pastor: countless churches have dispelled because of a pastor's immorality, but few disband because the guy who sat in the third row and played in the church softball team did the same thing. We obviously put a high level of trust in our ministry leaders and James speaks to this strict regard when he writes about teachers in the church in James 3:1. So what about us? We're not pastors, but we often forget how important it is to maintain high standards because of our ministries. For example, for my student ministry this coming semester, I am going to continue mentoring an eleven year old girl who lives near the college I attend. It is imperative that I embrace and sustain purity, not only when I'm around her, but anytime. Things like improper speech, immodest clothing, lack of respect, or hanging out where I should not be spending time, do not help my case when I talk with her about God. Basically, I'm talking about not allowing yourself to be a stumbling block to someone else. Friends, don't let the way you behave hinder your witness in ministry. There are people watching. Ask God that they would see Him in you. In II Corinthians 6:3-4, Paul writes,

  We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind.

• Finally, the last thing in the quote from Steve Miller (above) is that God gets the credit for our service. This is the hardest part. You know, you put in all that work, you paid the money to go on the trip or buy the supplies, you organized that service project and coordinated volunteers... Yeah, but give God the glory. A friend always says, "Keep pointing up." Don't hesitate to let people know that it's God who saves souls and God who prepares hearts and God who plans ministry. But I also know that it is right, very right, to feel good about ministry and service. Don't think that since we can't get the credit, we can't feel good about the results - just make sure you're bragging on Jesus. :)

And ministry is not simply volunteering at children's church or collecting canned goods, although those are wonderful and needed ministries. Honestly, I cannot give examples of ministry because there are so many: Ministries we can support and be a part of through prayer, giving money or donations, our time, our energy, our talents, our gifts, our hearts... At the end of the day, it is the lives God is changing (including our own) that make ministry worth it. So keep serving, keep loving, keep going on mission trips, feeding the homeless, meeting to encourage each other, playing with little kids, making music for worship, and whatever you do for His glory. It's beautiful and honoring and like a fragrant offering to our King.

Hey, The Future's Calling; It's For You.

In 5 days, we will ring in the new year. Have you ever made New Year's Resolutions? Last year, I participated in the Office of Letters and Light's "Big, Fun, Scary Adventure Challenge" (which is just a cool way to do Resolutions) and I completed 21 of my 25 challenges.

I try to set and accomplish goals which will improve myself. This summer, I had a goal to log as many hours of reading as I could for the public library's teen summer reading program, and to read many books from a College Bound Reading List I found. I read plenty of books and logged over 50 hours. I went on a mission trip with my school to an island near Charleston to work with Habitat for Humanity. I attended my mom's wedding, went to the beach with my grandma and brother, moved into my new house, and worked several days at my stepfamily's used car lot.

But, what did I do? What did I do that will have lasting effects? What did I do to help those around me? To aid those less fortunate? To build into the future?

Listen, the future is calling and it's for you!

By all means, go set a goal to read 20 books this year, go decide to run a marathon or learn to knit or speak a new language or write a novel or keep your room clean or research your ancestors or whatnot. Those are all good things that can be a part of your desire to use the mind and energy and resources God gave you. But don't stop there.

Ask yourself: How am I helping people? Or better yet: How is God using me to love others? How can I show them his love? The Bible doesn't say: "Go and get educated or rich or healthy or somehow 'better' so you will be a better person." Nope. It says, "Love God and Love People" and not so you'll be a better person, but because you were commanded to do so. And because out of this love comes a reverence and relationship with God as well as a community among people who will see Christ in you when you are loving them. See, the point is to love. Everything we are to be doing comes back to it. How are you loving?

Also, something very important to realize is that we can't just magically conjure up any "loving feelings" on our own. That turns into basing our actions of compassion and selfless on a feeling. And, in case you haven't realized it, love is not a feeling. It's a choice to put the other person above yourself - it's a decision to be selfless. And in and of ourselves, we have no ability to keep this up. But if we could do it all ourselves, we wouldn't need God. He willingly extends his strength to us, even giving us the needed resources to love him back.

So, friend, thanks for reading this far. I'm proud of you. Oh, and by the way, the future's calling and it's for you. Make the decision now to love. Start by doing something small, taking the baby steps and asking God to direct you to even bigger things. Every big run requires lots of little steps.

Maybe, like a friend of mine, you decide, every time you are wronged, to forgive within 30 seconds. That way you'd never hold a grudge. Maybe you decide to sincerely compliment a different person every day. Or hold the door for the people behind you. Or ask friends how you can pray for them. Or go on a mission trip. Or connect more with your parents or siblings. Find a baby-step way to love right now.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

(Matthew 22:36-40, NIV)

[Put your name in the blank... Which area do you need to ask God for strength to work on?]

____ is patient,

____ is kind and is not jealous;

____ does not brag and is not arrogant,

____ does not act unbecomingly

____ does not seek its own and is not provoked

____ does not take into account a wrong suffered

____ does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth

____ bears all things and believes all things

____ hopes all things and endures all things.

____ never fails...

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NASB, edited)

Selfless Living

When was the last time you gave of yourself to serve someone else selflessly? It could be an organized service project or a spur of the moment decision to love. It could be a global initiative for missions or a consistent effort to brighten your roommate's day. It could be listening to a friend's concerns and needs or feeding a hungry child. It could be anything where you give of yourself and become nothing so someone else can be blessed. Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." I think that's what I'm getting at.

It's like this: I've got homework, I'm tired, I feel a headache coming on, and I'm hungry, but a friend comes into my room needing help, and I must be selfless and listen to her and give her advice.

Or: Despite my work and school obligations, one of my classes is doing a service project and I'm required to be there. Do I show up late and with an attitude? Or do I strive to get there as soon as I can and demonstrate a servant's heart?

Or: I totally forget about something a friend is struggling with and I bring up related, awkward topics without considering the effect it might have. Why do I do that?

Because I'm sinful. Paul said, "I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate." (Romans 7:15) But guess what? Christ, living in me, through the Spirit, can do fantastic things, such as selfless living. When I give everything I am and have and desire to God, he can use it for great things to bless others and further his kingdom. Your longings and fears and desires and family situation and past and relationships and circumstances and plans are not coincidence. Let God use them for His glory.

Listen, God will never take something away from you without giving you something better. God works everything out for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28) and he will give you what is good (Matthew 7:9-11).

Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Romans 6:13-14, NLT