How Ropes Taught Me Patience

As of yesterday, I have been here at camp in Alabama for one month. When this current week comes to a close, I will be half way through the summer, halfway through my job working here at a camp for girls. How did it go by so fast?

A long time ago, it seems, when I was in counseling with a Christian counselor at my college, the question was posed: "Do you love yourself?" Now, I grew up being taught that JOY comes from loving Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself last. So I kind of shrugged off the question and moved on, going on about the fact that I like who I am becoming or something equally strange and cheesy. Whatever.

Yet my counselor kept going back to the question. Later, or in different sessions, or the next semester, he would ask. Again. "Do you love yourself?" 

So I asked what that meant. Aren't I always supposed to put myself last? I asked God to show me why I needed to love myself and how I could do so. You can see some of the posts I've written about the realization <a href="http://losingmyselfblog.blogspot.com/search/label/love%20yourself">here</a>, but to summarize, I learned that 1 Corinthians 13 applies to me too. The adjectives in that chapter should define the way that I treat others and the way that I treat myself.

Fast forward to camp. My very first week in Alabama was staff orientation, and I began training on the ropes course. My goodness, that was tough! It was several hours each day (usually 9am-4pm) of not only training on each element, but also going on each element multiple times so everyone had a chance to train well. I was exhausted. One afternoon, while I was training high in the zip line tree with my friend Ali, I was taking a little longer than some of the other trainees. Ali remarked between participants that I was being really patient with myself. 

I don't think I realized it at the time, but it came to me slowly later. And I almost broke down. I was being patient with myself. Patient. You know what love is? "Love is patient, love is kind..." I was astounded. Here I am, learning how to love myself 50 feet up in the air. 

A couple weeks later, when I was asked to train in the rappelling wall window for the advanced class, I mentioned to my friend Kat, who has been doing ropes for a number of years, that ropes course is teaching me to be patient with myself. And as I continued to train, it was proven true. You must remember each specific aspect of the element; which way to clip into a harness and when to flip the carabiner; which way to turn and hold the belay device; when to use a screw gate, a rapid link, or an auto lock; how to get the best helmet adjustment, etc, etc. Yes, a lot of it becomes muscle memory after a while, but like I said in introductions for this new group of campers, I've been doing ropes for an entire four weeks. I have noticed improvements, such as the amount of time it takes me to five point check a camper and clip in my belay device or my ability to get a helmet fitting just right, but I am still learning. I am so grateful for the people I work with who challenge and encourage me and make me keep trying. 

I am thankful that this often difficult experience occurred at this time in my life. I am grateful for all the times I have learned to overcome and press on and achieve things I thought I could never do. And I'm grateful that I have learned one way to love myself: and that that is to be patient.

Peace on the Rock

A steady rain falls outside the floor length window I'm sitting beside. The floors are old wood, the ceilings are a fancy wood and plaster design. There is modern art hanging on the alternating red and white walls. The door handles and fixtures are antique in metal and design. Mini light bulbs are strung up like a classy carnival and big band music is filtering through the air. The display case is full of homemade goodies and I'm sipping a frozen chai latte. And if I didn't keep hearing "y'all," I would think that I was in the downtown eclectic area of a big city.

Instead, I'm chilling in small town Alabama on my day off. Haha.

Orientation and our first week of camp are over. On Sunday, we get new campers for two weeks. If I have learned anything from the past two weeks, it has been that being a camp counselor is hard. This past week, we had mostly thirteen year olds with some 12 and 14 year olds sprinkled in. Some of them were excellent, well-behaved, and considerate young women. Some had the energy of little children mixed with the behavior of older teenagers. It was definitely a learning experience. I learned to be both tough and gentle with them.

I also learned that thirteen year olds can really shake your peace. When the usual three tables are combined into two because two of your co-counselors have a night off on the same night that Oreo Yum Yum is served for dessert, there is no peace to be found. Nowhere. 

Except in God. Just the day before Oreo-Yum-Yum-for-dessert night, my devotional directed me to a verse that really stuck out. It has come in handy throughout the week and I have learned to meditate on it. It goes like this: 

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock." - Isaiah 26:3-4, NLT

We serve a beautiful God, you guys. He is the Rock. At a place like the mountains of Northeast Alabama, that imagery is so significant. He will provide peace of mind and heart like the mountains here that are immovable and unchangeable. 

His peace is unchangeable. Even when 19+ thirteen year old girls are screaming at the top of their lungs and singing Justin Beiber like there is no tomorrow, his peace is unshakable. And the cool thing is that he loves those thirteen year old girls as his own precious children. What a blessing to rest in his love for these girls and for me.

Until next time.