Oh, The Promises

I would never do you wrong or let you down or lead you on.

- Lifehouse

I will never cross the line. I won't tell you any lies. I was sent here for the rescue.

- Tyler Ward

A girl like you is impossible to find. ... Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep.

- Secondhand Serenade

I never knew that I could love someone the way that I love you.

- Ben Rector

Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again.

- Anberlin (originally by The Cure)

They say that emotional arousal/attachment is the pornography of women. Romantic fantasies. Chick flicks. Yep. We get the twisted idea that all guys should be like that. We get all excited. Heart starts racing, mind starts inventing all kinds of things that were never there. Don't lie to me, you do it too.

I guess now is the time to confess my guilty pleasure... These songs. These promises sung oh-so-sweetly. Seriously, I know these songs are sung appropriately - mostly with pure intentions. One of the quotes I even took out of context to prove my point. But I like all of these songs. Some of them have played on my iTunes as I'm writing this.

Ladies, because our minds are filled with "images" of the perfect guy (or of what he says), we tend to attach song lyrics and movie lines and emotions to our boyfriends, interests, crushes, and guy friends. It could be disastrous, for a couple reasons.

1. He could be saying or doing those romantic things he does just to keep us and get us to do things for him (Guys give love to get sex, girls give sex to get love.)
2. We could be forcing what we want onto the relationship, thinking there's more going on than there actually is.

I will confess, I'm probably too cynical for my own good. I don't want to be hurt again. But it's really ridiculous that I'm always concerned a guy has ulterior motives. Yeah, I will admit: guys are stupid. (In reality, girls aren't that smart, either.) But, honestly - do guys really mean what they say? Or maybe the better question is: do they mean it the way girls think they mean it? I guess as girls we attach code to everything. Maybe to a guy "I enjoy talking with you" really just means "I enjoy talking with you," for goodness' sake!

Maybe we should all just listen to Foreign Language and call it a day?

Unfortunately, no. Haha. I'll tell you what I know. Please comment if you'd like to add anything.

• Guys like to promise great and outrageous things to the people they love.
• But, guys... The problem is that the girl will remember everything you tell her. Everything. And she will hold you to it, which means she's stuck to you. Bad idea. (Exception: The good news is that making a statement like that to your wife or long-term girlfriend can be good - you are offering her your strength. She will admire that. Do not fail her or she will kill you, though.)
• Girls, not only should you take care to guard your heart around guys (by not freely giving of it to be mishandled), you should also guard your heart around music or fashion or magazines or books or movies. Whatever floats your boat. Guard your heart around it. Be careful with it.
• Finally, ask God for strength. Guys, ask God to guide and direct your steps around the impressionable young ladies you interact with. You may need to be up front and honest about your plans for the future of the relationship. You may need to reevaluate the things you say to her. Girls, ask God to guide and direct your steps around the young men you interact with. Don't put more on them than they can handle. And don't rush what God's doing.

Finally, know that God's romance story for your life is so much better than anything Nicholas Sparks could have ever written.