Fear

I felt it today.

Fear.

The fear that I wasn't good enough, that I was too shy, too young, too inexperienced, that I wasn't worth it. It consumed me. The fear that I wouldn't get a job.

And as I stripped from the confining layers of a cute outfit, the weight of fear shrouded over me.

I had an image, of myself, sitting in an unfamiliar room with unfamiliar walls and unfamiliar floors, an empty, closed room, with my door closed to the world and those unfamiliar people who called themselves family. And they left for work, but I sat in that strange room, silent and alone.

And it was stupid. To think that way. But I did.

Fear.

And while it seems like I'm moving halfway across the world with no looking back, I'll only be 45 minutes from my old house. My old house. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave.

And I don't want anyone to know I don't want to go. I don't want anyone to know my

Fear.

Crying here over something wrecking my world. Wrecking my soul.

Fear.

Do I believe that you're my God / That you're all I need, That you're all I need?

("Yahweh", By: Tal and Acacia)

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea... God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day... The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

(Psalm 46:1,2,5,7,10 NIV)

Pile your troubles on God's shoulders— he'll carry your load, he'll help you out. He'll never let good people topple into ruin.

(Psalm 55:22, MSG)