Anyway, other than daydreaming about what my crops must be doing, or wondering how many notifications I'll have when I return, fasting from Facebook isn't truly that hard.
But I have a confession. By eliminating Facebook, I haven't really replaced it with something else. I mean, my life is so busy anyway, but I thought I'd have all this time to do whatever with. Turns out I just watch tv and go to bed earlier. Not entirely what I thought I'd do.
Although maybe today will be different. No school today. I'm getting my eyebrows done at 10:15, then heading to the mall for some kind of hair accessory for prom. I'll be home before lunch, so what am I going to do with the rest of my day? Work on homework for Monday? (Probably, because all I have is a Budget plan for Econ.)
But, I digress. The point is that I'll have more free time today and tomorrow morning/early afternoon. Which is why I'm writing here instead of posting a good Facebook status.
Something I've realized while doing this is that you get out what you put in. When I stopped making status updates, I stopped getting as many e-mails (something I forgot to turn off) announcing that my friends had commented on my statuses. I think that concept applies to other areas of life, too. If I put hours into a certain friendship or relationship, building up the other person, communicating, developing inside jokes... I'm going to get something great out of it. Same thing with God. I haven't been putting in much lately. I've been feeling like I'm working too hard and I'm not getting anything out.
At youth group on Wednesday, the message series was called "Flirt" and it's about "the air and opportunity between God and me". Our youth pastor told us that (in the best sense), God is flirting with us. He draws us towards him and chases us, like guys should do for girls. I've never really heard it mentioned like that before. And I've never really felt like that before. It always seems like I have to do the work to get to God.
People always quote James 4:8 ("Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.") which always leaves me wondering if I have to be perfect to enter God's presence, if I have to do to the work to get to know God. Wouldn't he want to get to know me?
Since context is king, I went to James chapter 4. It describes sinful, covetous people who quarrel and fight because they don't have what they want "because you do not ask God" (v. 2). It goes on to say that when they ask, they ask with "wrong motives" (v. 3).
It says that "friendship with the world is hatred toward God" (v. 4) but that God gives us more grace if we are humble (v. 6). Verse seven is a call for submission to God and resistance to the devil. And there is verse eight, which tells us to draw near to God and purify ourselves. Verses nine and ten tell us to be sad and gloomy and to humble ourselves so God will lift us up.
Huh?
So then I looked at a commentary (here). The commentary says that James is clear about sinful practices and motives "not to leave us in deeper despair over it, but that we may humble ourselves before the Lord and find grace for change". But the commentary does not speak directly to verse 8.
I have to go take a shower, but I trust that this will be resolved. Secretly, though, it's a little scary. Ever been pursued by a guy? It's unnerving! It's hard to know what's happening next.
More later.
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