Sometimes I Feel Like a Mess

But, you know what? It's okay! Because when I'm broken and desperate and needy, that is when I realize my need for God. That is when I realize how I'm going nowhere without him. In the New Living Translation, Matthew 5:3 reads, "God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs." It's okay to struggle and it's good to realize that we don't and won't have it all together, because through that we come to understand how great and powerful and forgiving and holy and accepting of us God really is. So, run to him and climb up in his lap and love him and receive his love for you! Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

Along those same lines, I often find myself going through life searching for the next "thing", the next "high", if you will. For many people, life is just a series of events strung one after the other. It follows that "living for the weekend" mindset that you may have noticed in high school or college: life consists of planning parties for next weekend and 'recovering' from parties last weekend.

We even see this in the Christian life. We think that we are truly Christians, or that we're doing it right, during those moments of high intensity in our Christian walk. There's this subconsious idea that, as Christians, those moments where we are completely on fire for God and we see God everywhere are better or "right" and that those times of living in the valley and struggling to see God are not "Christian" or are "wrong". But we forget that life can't lived on an emotional high everyday. We need moments of peace. Also, God may be using the times when you don't necessarily "feel" him as an opportunity to prepare you for something better in life. For example, for me personally, I can see how God is using this moment of singleness (even when being single hurts!) to prepare me for his future for me in regards to dating and marriage. I've learned so much through the struggles that I truly would not trade it for anything.

My friend Tori said it well when she said, "God is just preparing you to be ready for the best." If it's not the best, then it's not from God - and God's "best" usually looks different than mine! Hold out for God's best, trust that he knows what he's doing (because he does!), and use today to learn something. What is God trying to teach you through this experience?

Finally, have patience. Josh Wilson sings, "My friend, you know how this all ends and you know where you're going, you just don't know how you'll get there. So say a prayer. And hold on, cause there's good for those who love God. Life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time, but you'll see the bigger picture." And he's right - it's going to take time, but press on. God loves you and he has a good and perfect plan for your life and he will never fail you.

Maybe there are things you can't see and all those things are happening to bring better ending. Someday, somehow, you'll see.

- "Before the Morning", by: Josh Wilson

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

- Zephaniah 3:17

Selfless Living

When was the last time you gave of yourself to serve someone else selflessly? It could be an organized service project or a spur of the moment decision to love. It could be a global initiative for missions or a consistent effort to brighten your roommate's day. It could be listening to a friend's concerns and needs or feeding a hungry child. It could be anything where you give of yourself and become nothing so someone else can be blessed. Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." I think that's what I'm getting at.

It's like this: I've got homework, I'm tired, I feel a headache coming on, and I'm hungry, but a friend comes into my room needing help, and I must be selfless and listen to her and give her advice.

Or: Despite my work and school obligations, one of my classes is doing a service project and I'm required to be there. Do I show up late and with an attitude? Or do I strive to get there as soon as I can and demonstrate a servant's heart?

Or: I totally forget about something a friend is struggling with and I bring up related, awkward topics without considering the effect it might have. Why do I do that?

Because I'm sinful. Paul said, "I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate." (Romans 7:15) But guess what? Christ, living in me, through the Spirit, can do fantastic things, such as selfless living. When I give everything I am and have and desire to God, he can use it for great things to bless others and further his kingdom. Your longings and fears and desires and family situation and past and relationships and circumstances and plans are not coincidence. Let God use them for His glory.

Listen, God will never take something away from you without giving you something better. God works everything out for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28) and he will give you what is good (Matthew 7:9-11).

Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Romans 6:13-14, NLT

Temple Tuesday

Jim Elliot said, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

God has a better plan for my life than anything I'm trying to hold on to.

Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord, to thee.
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of thy love.
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for thee.

Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my king.
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from thee.
Take my silver and my gold not a might would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use every power as you choose.

Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for thee.

Take my will and make it Thine it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is thine own; it shall be thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour at your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever, only all for thee,
Take myself and I will be ever, only all for thee.

What a blessing it is to come before the Lord in prayer!

Struggles and Triumphs

It seems that when I've finally decided I don't need something, Satan throws it in my path again and again. And when I make the decision to give every part of my life to God, I am consistently tempted by my weaknesses. When Satan sees progress in my faith, he is all too eager to put an end to it.
But all of this reminds me that I can't do this alone. See, life is not meant to be lived alone. We need close, Christian friends who will hold us accountable and encourage us. We need to rely and depend on God with everything and every part of us.
And even when it seems impossible, we must press on and press into God. We must place our focus on God and others. My youth pastor always said, "It's not about me. It's about Him and them."

Psalm 35:22-28 says:

O Lord, you know all about this. Do not stay silent. Do not abandon me now, O
Lord.
Wake up! Rise to my defense! Take up my case, my God and my Lord.
Declare me not guilty, O Lord my God, for you give me justice. Don't let my
enemies laugh about me in my troubles.
Don't let them say, "Look, we got what we wanted! Now we will eat [her] alive!"

May all those who rejoice at my troubles be humiliated and disgraced. May those who triumph over me be covered with shame and dishonor.
But give great joy to those who came to my defense. Let them continually say, "Great is the Lord, who delights in blesing his servant with peace!"
Then I will proclaim your justice, and I will praise you all day long.

Finally, when dealing with the enemy, remember to be strong in the faith. We have no need to fear Satan, because the one who is in us (God) is stronger and greater than the one who is in the world (Satan). 2nd Timothy 1:7 says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
Brothers and sisters, keep on keeping on!